Thursday, October 28, 2010

Relationships! Amazing

Ok, so I'm amazed that people ask me questions about problems they are having in their relationships.  I mean, I am not an expert when it comes to this topic.  Look at me, hopelessly single, I have never really had a great relationship.  Oh, I have friends of course, but no one special.  I don't know how this happened and I really regret it more than anything in my life.
There are mornings I wake up and think.."why am I still alone?"  And eventually I get over it and move on with the day.  But still it bothers me at times.  I'm especially bothered by the families I see enjoying their kids.  I do wish I had a few that were mine.  Of course I like the fact that I can come and go when I want, but I also miss having the obiligations.
I have been helping with Champaign Park District's fall youth show.  And three times a week parents come and go dropping and picking up their kids.  I'm amazed at the commitments that these parents have.  And I wish I had the same
I've met some people I really liked over the years.  And truth be told, I either was too busy to pursue a relationship, or too afraid.  I mean I'm no Brad Pitt, and I have more than my share of issues.  But I have come to know that everyone has those issues.  It's what makes us "special."
But more than anything I think I just am afraid of failing in a relationship.  I really don't take rejection well.  Ironic as I'm in sales, but truly I'm not good at taking rejection at all.
So, I pray that someday I'll get swept off my feet and just know that I need to have a serious relationship.  It would be amazing to have someone to come home to and talk to and share with.  I can only hope.

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