Brothers vs. MEmbers

I  became a member of a fraternity when I was a sophomore in college.  As a member I have done about everything anyone has ever asked of me, donating my time, my talents and a lot of money.  I was a "live in" pledge with about 20 other guys in my pledge class.  Like most pledges of the 70's I was hazed during pledgeship, called lots of names and told to do 1000's of push ups and lots of other calisthenics all in the name of becoming a better brother.   And I did everything I was asked to do and can honestly say that no matter how much I hated it at the time, there's nothing I did then I can't talk about publicly now.  I was lucky in that regard and I know hundreds of members of my fraternity and other fraternities who don't want to talk about their pledgeships publicly.

Every pledge class has an active member who is in charge.  He may be called the pledge "trainer", "educator" , "chairman" or "boss."  This was true then and it's still true today, although the name may have become more politically correct.  Something like "membership education director".  Typically this guy is someone who's sole value to the fraternity is having a big mouth and acting tough.  Usually they are not great students, they have no clue about the values the fraternity was founded on and are more knowledgeable about the local bar scene than the bar exam.  

They got the job because they promised to make the pledges better "brothers".  You see every fraternity has a group of members who think it's their job to make sure the traditions of the fraternity are carried forward.  And completing pledgeship is a critical right of passage for the sake of the "house" to succeed.  It doesn't really matter what those traditions are, whether they be "total cans of beer consumed, most women hit on, or trash left to rot in the living room."  Rarely are these traditions based on the core values of the fraternity.  Things like education, community service and common decency are often left off the list.  

Ok so what does that have to do with brothers and members.  While everyone who initiates into a fraternity becomes a member, I am suggesting that not everyone becomes a Brother.   I'm not trying to confuse you here.  We all know members of fraternities are called "brothers".  In this argument I'm going to distinguish what I call members from what I'll call Brothers.  Let me define the difference:

MEmbers:   Initiated into the fraternity.  Usually hold offices like social chairman, athletic director, pledge educator/trainer.  Have an underlying belief the fraternity founders had them in mind when they held their first party.  Usually behind in house payment, social payments, t-shirt payments, etc.  Never pay required out of house fees as those are for someone else.  First to complain when a scholarship chairman indicates there should be sanctions for not having at least a B- grade point average. Picture themselves coming back to the fraternity after they drop out and teaching the pledges how to play Pong.   fraternity motto:  What's in it for me?

Brothers:  Initiated into the Fraternity.  May or may not hold an office as titles are not why they joined.  Think about the chapter reputation everyday.  Constantly evaluate the ideals of the Fraternity and compare them to their own.  Are amazed the founders could chose values that translate so well into today's society.  Know the national Fraternity history, local history and have met many of the more renown alumni.  Can't believe others compliment them for community and campus service as service has always been a part of their life.  Fraternity motto:  Service before self. 

So here's my theory.  We waste way too much time teaching our pledges how to be MEmbers.  How long can that take?  An hour at a table with flippy cups?  Maybe another hour at the local pub trashing the women?  So let's have a 3 hour pledeship for members.  About 85% of our initiates are lifetime MEmbers.  And except for waving at the house as they walk by on football Saturdays between tailgating and Kams, we probably never see or hear from them.  They don't donate to the Foundation of the chapter or the university, instead leaving their money behind in liquor taxes. 

As for Brothers?  Well no amount of pledge ship really matters.  These guys already understand the values of the Fraternity.  They will learn about the Brotherhood for the rest of their lives, attending reunions, and homecomings and conventions, constantly striving to become a more dedicated contributor to the Fraternity.  They will donate their time, their money and their passion to the chapter, the university and their communities.  And they will uphold the visions of the Founders in everything they do.  

Fences or Ambulances? Let's start the discussion today.

In light of the event that happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday and all of the other tragedies we have had to deal with in the past years, our Pastor opened our church service with this poem today.  Isn't it time we had a serious discussion in this country about the topic of guns.

A Fence or an Ambulance

'Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed,
Though to walk near its crest was so pleasant;
But over its terrible edge there had slipped
A duke and full many a peasant.

So the people said something would have to be done,
But their projects did not at all tally;
Some said, "Put a fence 'round the edge of the cliff,"
Some, "An ambulance down in the valley."

But the cry for the ambulance carried the day,
For it spread through the neighboring city;
A fence may be useful or not, it is true,
But each heart became full of pity

For those who slipped over the dangerous cliff;
And the dwellers in highway and alley
Gave pounds and gave pence, not to put up a fence,
But an ambulance down in the valley.

"For the cliff is all right, if you're careful," they said,
"And, if folks even slip and are dropping,
It isn't the slipping that hurts them so much
As the shock down below when they're stopping."

So day after day, as these mishaps occurred,
Quick forth would those rescuers sally
To pick up the victims who fell off the cliff,
With their ambulance down in the valley.

Then an old sage remarked: "It's a marvel to me
That people give far more attention
To repairing results than to stopping the cause,
When they'd much better aim at prevention.

Let us stop at its source all this mischief," cried he,
"Come, neighbors and friends, let us rally;
If the cliff we will fence, we might almost dispense
With the ambulance down in the valley."

"Oh he's a fanatic," the others rejoined,
"Dispense with the ambulance? Never!
He'd dispense with all charities, too, if he could;
No! No! We'll support them forever.

Aren't we picking up folks just as fast as they fall?
And shall this man dictate to us? Shall he?
Why should people of sense stop to put up a fence,
While the ambulance works in the valley?"

But the sensible few, who are practical too,
Will not bear with such nonsense much longer;
They believe that prevention is better than cure,
And their party will soon be the stronger.

Encourage them then, with your purse, voice, and pen,
And while other philanthropists dally,
They will scorn all pretense, and put up a stout fence
On the cliff that hangs over the valley.

Better guide well the young than reclaim them when old,
For the voice of true wisdom is calling.
"To rescue the fallen is good, but 'tis best
To prevent other people from falling."

Better close up the source of temptation and crime
Than deliver from dungeon or galley;
Better put a strong fence 'round the top of the cliff
Than an ambulance down in the valley.
-- Joseph Malins (1895)

Making a list! (or not)

I was sitting at church last Sunday when a good friend of mine started talking about what Christmas and the holiday season was all about.  I’m a list person.  I keep “to do” lists both physically and constantly in my mind as I keep a fairly hectic schedule.  When the holidays approach it seems as though my “lists” are never ending.  Just as quickly as I knock something off the list three more things are added.  Are your holidays like that?

Send cards, shop for relatives, decorate the house, decorate the tree, stop at shipping store to mail gifts, work on Church holiday programs, plan holiday meals, and shop for holiday meals are just a short version of the longer list detailing all the specifics needing to get done.  Of course I have a business to run and various holiday parties and events to attend as well.  There is just so much to do in December and not enough time to get it all done. 

My head spins and I begin to wonder if the list will ever be done.  Isn’t that what matters?   Getting prepared for the holidays is the highest priority?  For me at least, I tend to fall into that trap more than need be.

Back to what my friend Mike shared at Church Sunday.  Mike is one of those guys who is always busy as well.  A devoted servant of the church, Mike is a leader of the praise band and is always lending his time to play at special services, parties and even funerals and weddings.  He talked about how he too lived by the lists at Christmas.  He lost his wife at too young an age and the “duties” for the surviving parent were overwhelming. 

And at the height of his frustrations one holiday season he visited some old friends.  Over the course of a few days he shared with these friends his concerns and problems and all the things on his list he wasn’t getting done.   After a few days of self centered pity, his friend offered simple advice.   “Mike” she said.  “It’s not about you, it’s about a celebration of a birth in a manger, the coming together of family and friends to remember what matters.”

We have had a remarkable year in Real Estate.  Sales continue to climb, housing prices are creeping up and consumer confidence promises more of the same as we move into next year.  We are busier than we have been in several years.  If you are like me, this “busy-ness” means you are relying on lists to make sure your holidays are perfect.   My advice for the day, if the lists don’t get done, it’s alright!  Remember to stop what you are doing, lay down your phones, turn off your computers, and just enjoy those things that matter.  It wasn’t about Mike, and it’s not about me or you either.

Happy Holidays!

(This is a repost from the December "Knothole". A publication of the Champaign County Association of REALTORS)

The Dumbest Thing I ever did in College (Part One)

Ok so we have all done dumb things in our lives.  I'm no exception.  I mean part of growing up, especially while attending college,  are the choices you make.  The opportunity presents itself, and you either act or your choose not to.  While my list of "acts I regret" is much longer than one incident, I thought it might be fun to recount the dumbest of the dumb acts in my college years.

So is was a cold January night and one of my pledge brothers and I were walking back from KAMS, a popular Campustown watering hole headed for my apartment.  We may have had a few too many, although certainly at this point in my life I can honestly say I don't recall having been "under the influence."  It's highly probable though.

One of our local fraternities, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, has a grand staircase leading from the sidewalk to their front door.  Sitting on either side of the staircase are beautiful sculptures of lions similar to the photo above.  Apparently the lion is one of their honored fraternal symbols.  Certainly these two sculptures had sat on their perch overlooking Daniels Street for many a year.  

It was common practice in those days for other fraternities and sororities to "decorate" the lions.  On any given morning you might find them painted a new color, adorned with clothing, both outer and under wear or covered in the previous night's meal offerings.  They were certainly attention getter's for many who lived in the neighborhood.  

So on this late January evening, my pledge brother Bill and I were walking by the stately lions only to find that one had been knocked off it's perch.  The fall had damaged the lion, breaking off one of the paws.  I'm certain our natural instincts of preserving fine art must have kicked in, or something to that effect, and we decided in one of our more brilliant moments to rescue the fallen lion!  

I remember it was heavy, very heavy...and rather than carry it three blocks to my apartment we chose to carry it one block to our chapter house.  There we nurtured it's wounds, applied the appropriate medicines and bandaged the fallen idol, or we threw it in the chapter room, I'm not really sure which.  Either way, in the morning it was in the chapter room.  

When our fellow brothers came back from winter break we were certainly applauded for our bravery.  However our chapter president, being of sound mind and values, insisted we remove it from the chapter room.  "Trouble" was his fear.  As the lion was broken, returning it would only lead to punishment.  Of that we were certain.  So again, in another brilliant move, we loaded it into the back of a car and permanently entombed it in a dumpster behind County Market.  It may still be there some 35 years later.

Time passed, I graduated and went to work in Detroit, and  I really hadn't given that night much thought.  And then, Bill called.  SAE found out that we had taken the lion and guess what?  They wanted it replaced.   In another of life's important lessons, I learned that you can't replace just one lion.  As the first one was over 50 years old, finding a second that matched was impossible.  So both needed replacing.  Bill informed me the invoice was $3000.  We split the cost and replaced the lions.  A noble thing to do I'm sure. (But perhaps the threat of arrest was more influential than nobility).

So as I pass the front entrance of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity on the corner of Third and Daniels in Campustown I am reminded of my misgivings on a regular basis.  And while I feel a sense of ownership for these lions, (I claim to own the one on the left), I am also reminded that "preserving fine works of art" should be left the the professionals!

There's No Place Like Home!

(The following is a reprint of my monthly message in the Champaign County Association of REALTORS Knothole)

Last weekend was Homecoming at the University of Illinois and on college campuses all over America.  Now if you would have asked me when I was in high school or even in my early years in college if I would consider the University of Illinois or Champaign Urbana “home” in 30 years   I probably would have laughed you out of the building. 

But Champaign County is my home and I’m proud of it.  A lot of my friends don’t understand how I can possibly stand living in such a “small town” after growing up in the Chicago suburbs.  And yet I can’t imagine a place more vibrant, more fun than this town. 

Christian Morganstern said, “Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.”  For me at least, if there is anywhere in the world where I’m understood its good old CU.  We are a community rich in diversity, comfortable in the pursuit of knowledge and a magnet for people from all over the world who come here to shape their lives.   

But that’s my vision of what home is.  Home is so much more than that for the rest of the world.  And as Realtors we shape those places for many in our community.  When you begin to think about the influence a home has on families it becomes difficult to comprehend just what an impact we have in people’s lives. 

We are “homes” greatest advocates.  We work hard to find the perfect fit for our clients.  Whether it’s the number of bedrooms, the bathrooms, the ideal kitchen, basements or just the feel you get the first time you walk through the doors, our members work diligently every day to discover the house that’s “just right.”  And from that first impression, lives are created, shaped and grown.  

These are the places we all feel comfortable going back to.  Millions will brave the elements in the next few weeks to recapture the magic and the spirit of their youth.  And while every home does not inspire “Norman Rockwell” moments, most will be filled with the comfort and safety that comes from the memories shared with families.   

That’s what we do for a living you know.  We find houses for our clients and these houses become the homes their children and grandchildren come back to year after year.  So this holiday season when you are gathered in your home or the home of another friend or family member, remember it is because of the work you do every day that these moments happen.

“Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved.”   Ann Douglas

Bricks and Mortar - Greek Style

So I've been spending a lot of time lately talking to people about bricks and mortar.  You are probably thinking that there is only so much time you can spend on this topic, but trust me when I say this topic leads to seemingly endless conversations.  For me at least, the bricks and mortar topic relates to the Greek system at the University of Illinois.  There are two things that have commanded my attention during the past few years.

The first is the capital campaign for my own chapter.  We are embarking on a $3.5 million renovation of a 100+ year old building.  More than 25 very talented people have been soliciting donations, making plans, meeting with architects and laying out the future for our chapter.  It is certainly a fun project, especially when I have the chance to get on the phone with brothers from the past and catch up on old times.  Our chapter house has about 10 good years left in it, maybe.  But this plan will extend the life another 50 at least.

The second involves the UI Greek system as a whole.  The UI housing division recently announced they were ending a clause that allowed freshman to transfer into a fraternity house for a minimal breakage fee.  The UI now wants 75% of the contract value to break their agreements.  Frankly, I never understood why the housing division allowed us to buy out their contracts for just $1000.  I think in part the UI housing was over capacity for years and it helped them to thin the ranks.  But that is no longer the case, and the buy outs cost them over $500,000 in revenue annually.

If you have followed the political rhetoric you may have heard our president's commitment to "keeping the cost of higher education affordable."  I know I heard that Tuesday night again.  Well part of the this relates to the the UI's decision to keep their residents and their money.  Seems logical right?  It does to me as well.  

This decision brought leaders from several rival fraternities to negotiate an extension of the buyouts for at least another year.  I won't bore you with the details, but just let me say an eight month negotiation went from a 4 year extension, to a 2 year extension, to a one year extension to none.  

So bricks and mortar have absorbed my time. But these meetings with other fraternity alumni leaders have reminded me we have other issues than bricks and mortar.  We all have a set of ideals we are pledged to.  All are different, but all are similar in nature as we all have pledged our lives to be better men and help our fellow men to be better as well.  

I'm not sure when being a fraternity meant having a house. Certainly at the UI in the early 1900's you needed a high school diploma and a LEASE to get into school.  Having a place to live was a prerequisite.  Post World War II the UI exploded and didn't have enough housing and the Greek system grew.  And the system grew again in the late 60's and early 70's.

My time in Ol' 911 was special, and I truly loved the experience of living with and sharing ideas morning, noon and night with my chapter brothers.  I believe the single GREATEST value of fraternity life is that it teaches our men to negotiate and compromise.  You don't have to learn this in a dorm, or in a apartment and maybe in your house for the rest of your life.  But you do need to learn it in the work place.   Chapters without houses don't get as many spontaneous opportunities for brothers to state their case, defend it and then deal with the end result.  They get some, and I believe it's still a value, but they don't get as many.

So bricks and mortar will continue to monopolize my time for the next few months and probably years.  And that's ok, because deep down I know that these bricks and this mortar is helping young men prepare themselves for a better life.  

This blog was written by T.J. Sullivan and I am re-posting it as it represents exactly what I believe about commitment to a fraternity and my commitment to my fraternity.

You are always wearing your letters

You’re interested in joining our fraternity? We’d love to have you. You’re the type of person we look for: committed, enthusiastic, a leader. We think you’ll do great things here, and we hope that we’ll open some doors for you. You will make lifelong friendships, and hopefully, you’ll be the type of person whose positive impact will be felt here for many years.

This is the start of something really cool.

We know you have your reasons for joining, and we also know that the reasons you’ll stay will be entirely different. Trust us on that one. People tend to join for the image, the props, and the social stuff. They stay around for the friendships and because they find a place where they can impact the lives of others. It’s a family. We know this. Soon, you will, too.

Soon, these letters will be yours. But, there’s one lesson that we need to impress upon you before you sign your name on the dotted line, pay that first fee, and get that first t-shirt. It’s the single most important thing we’re going to ask of you, so you need to listen and understand it, now, before you say “yes.”

It’s the one most important thing that any fraternity or sorority can impress upon its new members. It’s the one lesson that every group must impress upon its newest members. Truly, our survival as an organization on this campus, and nationwide, depends on you understanding this one simple lesson and taking it to heart.

It’s more important than our history, our traditions, our structure, or our rules. Because, if you don’t understand this most fundamental lesson, then none of the other stuff will matter. If you don’t get this one “golden rule of fraternity,” then your son or daughter won’t have this kind of organization to join someday, and all of this will just be a fuzzy memory.

Here it is. Ready?

From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.

I’m going to repeat it.

From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.

We’re not talking about t-shirts, or sweatshirts, or hats made in the colors of the group. We’re not talking about a tattoo on your ankle, some party favor, or a badge you wear on your dress shirt.

What we mean is that when you say yes to lifetime membership in this group, everything you say, do and represent from that moment forward is a direct reflection on this group, your brothers, and the thousands of members who have come before you. Everything you put out to the world is a direct reflection of this fraternity. Every decision, every achievement, every mistake you make happens to all of us from this point forward.

When you go to the grocery store, you represent us. If you fall asleep in class or earn a weak grade, you represent us. When you drive down the road and slow down so a pedestrian can cross the street, you represent us.

When you turn 21 and hit the town, you represent us. When you become a leader of another campus organization, you represent us. When you insult someone or talk badly about another fraternity, you represent us. When you break up with someone and make decisions about how you behave during that difficult time, you represent us. When you go on Spring Break, you represent us.

When you go home and sit at your mother’s dining room table, you represent us. When you get a job and go to work for a company or organization, you represent us. When you commit your life to that special person, someday, you represent us.

You are always wearing your letters.

From this day forward, always. Every day, in every situation. They never come off.

As surely as if you tattooed these letters on your forehead. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a jersey with our name on it, or a business suit at an interview. You have to assume that every person you meet will form a permanent opinion about fraternities – good or bad – based on how you interact with them. Every good thing you do builds us up. Every dumb thing you do tears us down.

We live in a time when the actions of one man or one woman can kill a group like ours. One person who acts in a way that is inconsistent with our shared values can end a hundred years of tradition and pride. One choice you make on a Friday night can take away everything that generations of men have worked to build.

All the stuff you see that belongs to us can be boxed up or thrown out, because of the choices you make.

If this seems a little intense, that’s good. Because it’s serious. If it sounds like too much responsibility, or if you don’t think you can behave in a way that reflects well on us at all times, then walk away now. Do us the favor. We won’t think less of you. In fact, we’ll thank you. This sort of commitment isn’t for everybody.

But, don’t say yes unless you understand.

We’re not asking you to give up anything. We aren’t asking you to become something you aren’t. We’re asking you to become something more. We’re inviting you to become part of a group of men who make a promise to take care of each other, every day. We’re asking you to become the very best version of you that you can be.

We’re asking you to take a leap of maturity and to go to that place where you’re the same, honorable, dignified person on Saturday night as you are on Tuesday morning.

It’s a big deal, and not everyone can do it. Forget everything you’ve heard up to this point. Forget how much you might desire this, or how much we might want to bring you into the group. Just clear your mind and ask yourself one question.

Are you ready to never take them off?

Because when you say yes, you’re not just putting letters on a sweatshirt. You’re putting them in your heart. You’re forever stamping your identity with them. Everything you are, from this point on, becomes who we are.

You will make mistakes, and brothers will remind you of your commitment. There will be times where you will see other brothers forgetting their promise, and you’ll need to remind them. That’s part of this whole “fraternity” thing. We work together to make ourselves better men who stand for something. We carry each other. We matter to one another.

If we’re doing fraternity right, then we’ll make you a better man. If you’re doing everything right, then you will make us a better organization. So, please think about it. Take it seriously. Because if you say yes, these letters belong to you as surely as they belonged to our founders. If you say yes, these letters become your responsibility forever.

That’s the promise.

Another Garrido Story: Temper, Temper

So I thought I would share a couple Augie Garrido stories just for fun.  For those that don't know Augie, he is the winning-est college of all time.  He has won over 1500 games in his life and 5 national collegiate baseball championships.  And for about 3 years he was  the coach at the University of Illinois.  I was hired as Augie's Director of Baseball operations and basically my job was to keep him out of trouble.  And trust me, that was a challenge.  In the meantime I helped set up the marketing plan, summer camps and game day experiences, the sound, the entertainment and giveaways in the stands, and just plain worked at making the games fun to come to.

In Augie's first year at Illinois he inherited a bunch of "hard working" Chicago kids.  They all were great student-athletes but not necessarily the greatest baseball players.  A new stadium was built upon Augie's arrival and that along with just the drive Augie has as a coach had propelled them to a great record going into the Big Ten season.  The team was about 15-3 or so playing Minnesota in a 4 game home series.  Augie gathered them all in the clubhouse before the game and gave one of the most inspiring pregame talks I have every heard.  I call it the "I am a champion" speech.  For 20 minutes Garrido talked about the game being played one pitch, one out, one inning at a time and the key to great teams was winning each increment of the game.  "Battle for every pitch, every out and every inning.  Win every inning and you will win the game." But to do that Augie said you have to believe you are the best man in that spot.  "Say to yourself 1000 times a game, I am a champion, I am a champion... and if you say it enough you will believe it and your actions will follow what you believe...."   A great lesson in life, to break tough situations down to their most basic elements and be successful in each little piece.  

I wish I would have recorded this speech, it was truly one of the greatest I ever heard.  However...we lost all four games of the series and slid back in the conference standings never to recover that season.  But, I'll never forget the speech.  Sometimes when I talk to Augie I'll joke, "have you tried the I am a Champion speech on the team?"  :)

Another of my favorite Augie moments happened at a NCAA regional championship.  Now for as intense as Augie was in the regular season using every moment possible as a "teaching moment", Augie was very laid back in the post season.  Perhaps this is the secret to his success.  He explained to me once that in the regular season he needed to "get their attention."  The players were thinking about going out at night, or their girlfriends or a test they had the next day, and he needed to get on them so they refocused on the game and on the moment.  But in the post season, Augie said "I need to get them to relax."  He said, "they all want to win the ring or the trophy and I need them to relax so they play better."  So he was laid back, that is, except at the NCCA at Mississippi State in 1990.  

We were leading MSU in the mid innings despite the fact we weren't getting all the calls.  A win would put us in the regional championship game, one win there and we go to the College World Series. A loss would send us to the loser's bracket where we would need to win three in a row to go to Omaha.  Augie had a dialog going with the home plate umpire and finally he jumped out of the dugout and gave the umpire his best Earl Weaver imitation.  He kicked dirt on him, yelled at him and gave him "his opinion" of his work.  He grabbed a pair of sunglasses off his head, and not just any pair, but a $300 pair he got the week before, threw them on the ground and stomped them.  Then he stopped, looked at the glasses, picked them up and walked back to the dugout.  

He bee-lined to me, and said very discretely, "Todd, if you ever let me wear a pair of $300 sunglasses when I go to yell at an ump you're fired."  He smiled and we both got a good chuckle out of that.  The bad news was in the 8th inning, still up 3-2 over MSU we got another bad call on a balls and strike.  A strike would have ended the inning.  Two pitches later the batter hit a home run and MSU took the lead 4-3.  We lost and didn't win the next game either.  Augie called this one of the singular most disappointing calls in his life in a story written several years later.  I know he feels as I do that getting out of the inning would have sent us to the College World Series.  And that would have been huge for a program like Illinois.

I have many Augie stories, but these are two I share for now.  In the locker rooms he has coached at Garrido puts up a sign that says, "It's amazing what can be accomplished when no one cares who gets the credit."  That is just one of those things I cherish in my friendship with Coach Garrido.  

Balancing 4 Part Time jobs is a Full Time job!

So I never really thought that I would have a part time job after I graduated from college.   I mean I was off to set the world on fire and was sure that by the time I reached the age of 55 I would either be dead, or retired and living on some beautiful tropical island.  I had my share of part time jobs when I was in college.  I ran the infamous "Stan's Ice Cream" empire all through the summers of college.  Great work thanks to my freshman basketball coach, Stan Woerner, who basically paid my way through college.  I had to get up early, 6 AM, two days a week and receive the ice cream order for the trucks I packed daily.  And I would pack the trucks full of Popsicle, bomb pops, fudgesicles and other frozen treats.  Then send the drivers out for the day and meet them back at the shop at night to turn in their money and orders for the next day.  Not a bad job and all you can eat treats to boot!.

That job was great until one summer evening when someone pointed a gun between my eyes and wanted the day's money stash.  That was my last summer and I worked for my dad at Ford the next summer.  Night shift, cleaning the factory after a days worth of assembling T-birds.  Except for the fact this was an all night gig, it was great money and a good experience for me.  But within 6 months I graduated and was headed to the big time and big money.

That plan worked out OK until 2008.  Then the bottom fell out of the economy and especially the real estate market, my current trade.  So, it was either find a part time job, or turn over my house to the bank.  I chose the former.  I have always worked a sort of part time job, refereeing basketball since I was 18.  But that was a combination of the challenge of calling the perfect game and a little side money.  And frankly it wasn't enough to live on.  But I'll call that "part time job #1" during the past 4 year.

Part time job #2 was serving as executive secretary for our local Rotary club.  The position opened and I heard they paid a stipend of $400 a month to handle the duties, mostly collecting dues, processing checks for reimbursement and filing with the national organization.  I jumped at that one and am still doing this one.

Part time job #3 was running the local park district's youth theater program.  One of my buds at the district asked me to take over the management of the program, and  I did.  I produced 4 shows for them and even made them some extra money too.

Park time job #4 related to #3.  As had the keys to the theater and was trained in how to handle patrons, turn out the lights and replace the toilet paper, they asked me to help with event management.  So whenever there was a show, I got paid to be in the lobby and help get the folks in and out safely.  Another nice gig for sure, if you like wearing black, and I do!

So for about 2 years I was working 4 part time jobs and my full time job.   Sound like a time crunch?  It was and  I felt the wear and tear on my brain.  But, it got me through the rough times.  The economy is creeping back into shape and I was able to drop two of the part time jobs.  But I'm not opposed to adding them back if I have to.

I learned a great lesson during these years.  There are people out there who will help if you just let them.  All of these jobs were due to people I liked and trusted offering to help.  I'm lucky I wasn't too proud to say no.

What next?  Who knows.  I may be a greeter at Wal Mart.  But at least for now, things are good at my full time job and I'm paying the bills in a timely manner again.

Leaving a Legacy

leg·a·cy

   /ˈlɛgəsi/ [leg-uh-see] noun, plural leg·a·cies.

1. Law . a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest.

2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.

I have had a few people in my life who have died long before their time.  Some of them were very close friends, while others were just people I knew on the fringes.  Austin Cloyd falls into the latter category.  I met Austin a few times when I was refereeing basketball.  She played at Champaign Centennial High School and I remember talking to her a few times during warm ups.  Nothing noteworthy was said, just a few stories. 

Ironically two years later I would begin to know Austin very well.  Ironic, because Austin had passed away by then, and I have come to know her after that fact.  Here is what I know. Austin was devoted to community service.  She loved to work on empty tomb projects, scraping shingles off the roof, and loved working on Appalachian Service Projects.  She loved her friends and especially loved her family. 

Mostly I have come to appreciate that Austin Cloyd was a "typical" teenager.  With friends and neighbors and church commitments and an interest in helping other people. 

This past weekend we held the 5th Austin's Day of service.  Five years ago, about a week after the tragedy at Virgina Tech, Jordan Branham, then a junior at Centennial, approached me about the idea of paying tribute to Austin by serving in the community.  We had talked about donating money to empty tomb, or planting a tree or the kinds of things you do when someone passes.  You see Austin was in her French class in Norris Hall the day a madman chose to end the lives of 32 students.  And Jordan had read about her in a Chicago Tribune article.   The reporter talked about Austin's commitment to serving others.  And that her dream was to foster world peace.  Powerful story for sure. 

Fast forward 5 years to last week.  Austin's father Bryan was in Champaign for Austin's Day.  Over 200 volunteers had committed to serving 12 different agencies in Austin's memory.  In 5 years more than 500 people have served in Austin's name.  During the day, Bryan shared a wonderful story with me.  A few days after the shootings, a reporter asked him "what will Austin's legacy be?"  Bryan said he went numb a bit and didn't have an answer.  "How many 18 year olds have a Legacy?"  "I mean Austin was a wonderful girl, she had lots of friends, was a joy to be around, but a legacy?  She hadn't had time to build one."  Or so he thought at the time.

After spending the day in Champaign last weekend, Bryan said, "I think this may be her legacy.  Somewhere along the line she attached herself to a role model who inspired her to serve others."  He said, "and by spending time with this role model, Austin was starting to grow some roots embedded in community service. And those roots have taken hold in the students at Centennial who continue to carry the vision forward with Austin's Day."  I think this has given Bryan Cloyd a little closure on the pain he has held onto for all these years. 

Back to the central question though.  What legacy have we left?  For many people their children are their legacies.  Good or bad, they have brought them into the world and hope to have their values carried forward.  But for those of us who don't have children, or for those of us who's children have hardly lived up to the "legacy status" it becomes more about the what we have left behind.  It is an interesting question, and maybe the first question is, "is it important to leave a legacy?"


I suppose in a selfish kind of way I would like to think my time on earth mattered.   I think we all hope that we make a difference in the things we do and somehow impact others along the way.  I don't know if my actions have reached legacy status.  There are things I started many years ago that are still around.  The "Hometown Heroes" program at the U of I athletic dept is one of my babies.  Certainly being a co-founder of the Phi Kappa Psi chapter at the Univ of Michigan is important.  And I would guess some of the community service programs I have been involved with have seen some changes due to my input, the Urbana Sweetcorn Festival for example is significantly different than when I first got involved.  But is it a legacy?  I'll leave that for others to judge. 


In the end, maybe I hope people will say I invested my time and talents helping others succeed.  I can live with that legacy, and maybe others will look back and think they need to do the same when I'm gone. 

It's a rough life, but.,,

Here I am sitting in a recliner about 30 yards from the shoreline contemplating how I will spend my day. There are not many perks to being chapter advisor to a fraternity. Much time is spent helping the chapter set goals only to "set them aside" soon after the ink dries. And you are most needed when a member has done something stupid and he or the chapter is in seriously hot water. But today is different. Today I'm enjoying a beautiful sunrise as I wait for the American Leadership Academy to start their training.

The American Leadership Academy (ALA) is the brain child of two men, Jerry Nelson and Paul Wineman.  Both are members of my national fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi, and both are dedicated the to proposition that the future of America lies on the hands of our 18-21 year olds and someone needs to make sure they are prepared to lead us all forward.

Jerry has started over 40 companies in his life.  Ticketmaster and Troon Golf may be the most notable.  Four or five of those companies went bankrupt but the rest survived and made considerable money.  One of my favorite "Jerry stories" is that he has built 132 golf courses in conjunction with such legends as Tom Weiskoff, and he HAS NEVER PLAYED GOLF!! 

I first met Jerry about 14 years ago when he invited several of us to his house in Tahoe.  We spent the weekend hearing about what it took to be successful in life and how to translate that message to today's youth.  It was the first of two weekend sessions with Jerry and frankly, these weekends changed my life in a dramatic way.  Jerry tends to do that to people, change their lives.  He has had a profound impact on hundreds if not thousands of lives with his message of "Winners and Losers".   An in your face presentation of the habits we all get into that lead us to success or failure in our lives.  He is passionate about changing the world and puts his money where his mouth is, preaching to thousands of college students annually. 

Paul Wineman is a saint.  He was truly sent from God to be an angel to the students he meets.  Paul is a former Army Colonel.  He spent most of his life assigned to Lebanon, both in the military and as a civilian.  He is devoted to change in the Middle East.  So devoted in fact he was taken hostage in Lebanon and then returned after he was released.  Paul talks to thousands about the Art of Negotiation.  He is one of the world's authorities on the topic, serving now as a lead negotiator for Anheuser Busch and the American Dairy Council amongst others. 

Paul and Jerry host six or eight weeks of the ALA in Cabo, Mexico.  Jerry has a mansion on the beach where he hosts speakers and others like me who he invites to facilitate the program.  Down the beach is a hotel where 150+ students are hosted each week during the spring breaks periods across the country. 
The students get to stay for free, eat for free, but the must attend a 3 hour daily workshop, featuring guest speakers who have made and lost millions.  They offer their secrets to success.  Some speakers focus on life skills, some on setting big goals, some on how to find balance in your life.  As for me, I get to sit back and listen and learn and enjoy life.

The students mostly listen intently.  The majority come and take advantage of an amazing opportunity to network with an incredible group of speakers.  Some just take in the night life in downtown Cabo and spend the three hours propped in place.  And a few have life changing experiences, figuring out the first step to success and walk away with a plan to achieve it.  I think Paul and Jerry live for those few.  They have fun with the rest and do a great job of planting seeds that may or may not take root later, but it's the few who take root here they enjoy the most.

So I've got a full week.  Great food, excellent company, beautiful accommodations and a good restful working vacation.  Truly a perk worth having!

Illinois Fans.....YOU'RE FIRED

Ok,  we have finally cleaned house at Illinois  Athletic Director Mike Thomas finished the trifecta and fired basketball coach Bruce Weber today.  So in the span of just 4 months he has fired the head football coach, Ron Zook, the women's basketball coach, Jolette Law and now Weber.  You see none of them managed to win enough games, so they got fired.

Interesting development.  Sometime in the past few years the Illinois fans started expecting winning to be the highest priority.  Maybe it was the first trip to the Final 4 in about 60 years, or maybe it was the 6 wins in a row in football at the beginning of the season, or the Rose Bowl trip a few years back.  But somehow the Illini Nation got it in their heads that winning and playing for championships was the highest priority. 

Graduation rates? Sorry not important.  Helping young men and women prepare for their futures? Forget it.  Being good stewards of their respective programs, acting honestly, fairly, and decently to the alums, fans, press and the world?  Nope, sorry that doesn't cut it.  Playing for the title is all that matters.

Is this realistic at Illinois?  History says no.  Sure we have teams that win Big 10 titles.  Sure we have teams that finish in the top 20 and compete with the best in the country.  But sustained winning?  Not recently. 

So, I have a suggestion for AD Thomas.  You should fire the fans.  Not just some of them, all of them.  You can give them a release.  Maybe pay them for their orange shirts, sweatshirts, shoes, gloves, etc.  You have $7 million to pay the former coaches, tacking in another couple million won't matter.  Give them information on joining booster clubs with schools that win.  Football, send them the Buckeye booster info.  Basketball, send them Indiana or Kentucky or Kansas info.  Then we can start over with the fan base too. 

Now fans, I want to warn you that some of the schools I just mentioned will break your hearts.  Ohio State, is on serious probation for cheating.  Indiana, they have their issues too.  But they win!  And after all that's what matters isn't it?   Oh now, they don't win the title every year, so you may have to fire your coaches every other year or so.  But you'll get a boost from winning the big ones!

As for me, I think I'm going to find a program to root for where the kids graduate.  Where they are decent kids learning to be better men and women.  Where honor and honesty and decency come first.  And where the coaches know that being great teachers and role models is what gets you an extended contract.  I'll bet you that there is a good chances coaches Zook, Weber and Law might be coaching there.