Monday, January 30, 2017

The Lessons you learn when you are given an expiration date

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This past year has certainly been the most challenging so far in my life.  For those that don’t know I was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer just about a year ago.  In that meeting the doctor speculated I had somewhere between 6 and 24 months left.  This diagnosis wasn’t necessarily on my new year’s resolution list.   I had only been in the hospital one night in my life for wisdom teeth removal. 

The word spread and before I knew it I was the center of attention.  People were sending notes and calling that they were adding me to their prayer groups, family was scheduling time to come and stay with me and friends were bringing meals and other things to the house.  This …. was out of my comfort zone. 

The Sunday before I went in for surgery a new program called the Journey was starting with our congregation.   As I sat in the church Pastor Mark encouraged everyone to take the first step, praying, by remembering Becky Fox, another church member who had recently been diagnosed with cancer, and I in their prayers.  Again..out of my comfort zone.  But, I took a deep breath, and knew God needed to use me right then. 

I won’t go into a lot of details on the treatments and medical procedures.  Truly it could have been a lot worse.  God has held me in his hand throughout this year and I am a different and maybe a better person today than a year ago.  But I have learned some lessons that I want to share with you.

1.    Hug the people you love and make sure they know it.  It has crossed my mind several times in the past year that this may be the last time I see people on this earth.  I am not trying to be morbid.  But at least I know I’m not immortal.  I think we forget sometimes there are no guarantees there will be a tomorrow.   So many of us shy away from telling the people we care about that we love them.   God really wants us to share this, maybe more than anything else.  So whether you are Joe Cool, too tough for emotions or Miss Prim and Proper, let your guard down.  You can’t fake this, but you can cross the comfort line zone here. 

2.    Speaking of which, remember that cancer is not contagious.  It interesting to see how your friends react to the diagnosis.  Some are drawn to help and some quickly turn away.  I theorize that enthusiastic people shy away from anything that is not positive.  I understand, I think I was one of those people until this year.  Not that I’m not positive now.  It’s just that I understand my own limitations. 

3.    Thank God for each day.  Time flies.  We all face this trap.  Take a minute, thank God for today, and enjoy this beautiful earth we share. 

4.    Open your heart to the people who want to help.  Our community is gracious, helpful, giving, and understanding.  They want to help.  My natural reaction is “I can handle it myself.”  As Pastor Marc talked about a few weeks ago, I needed to step out my boat and have faith that God would keep me safe.  I did, and people came.  They took care of my family, my dog, my house.  They came and came and came and filled my house with love and the holy spirit.  It’s selfish to not let them help.  Open your heart.

5.    Don’t stop living your life.  The best advice my doctor gave me was to not stop doing the things I love.  He said, “I’ll give you some great medicine, but the best medicine is surrounding yourself with the things you love to do”  I’ve done this.  I blessed with so many opportunities God has given me. 

6.    Finally and I think most importantly.  I want each of you to have as much faith in your prayers for yourself as you do when you pray for others.  So many people have come up to me and told me they are praying for me.  It’s humbling, amazing, and truly overwhelming at times.  I can tell people are totally committed to “making me better”.   Yet at times I wonder if they are as confident in trusting their own needs with God.  How faithful are you?  Do you trust God to answer your prayers?  Do you pray with the same intensity and confidence for yourself as you do for others?  Are you “ALL IN”?  At this point I believe I'm in God’s hands.  I’m not stressed.  Every day is a blessing.  I have wonderful friends, a loving family and a community of caring and gracious caretakers and doctors.  


7.     So you may be asking how can I help.  Naturally you can continue to pray.  Another way is to support the American Cancer Society.  For the next two months I have volunteered to help the American Cancer Society fund raise in their Coaches vs  Cancer program.  I’m joining 10 other business leaders to help spread the message and raise funds.  For example, did you know that the American Cancer Society will provide rooms to families with a member getting hospital treatment?  I didn’t know that.  It’s a wonderful organization focused on research and supporting patients and families with cancer.  I’m blessed to have a great family and all of you as well.  However for those that don’t have support,  the American Cancer Society helps to fill the gap. The website to donate is www.main.acsevents.org/goto/toddsalen


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