I became a member of a fraternity when I was a sophomore in college. As a member I have done about everything anyone has ever asked of me, donating my time, my talents and a lot of money. I was a "live in" pledge with about 20 other guys in my pledge class. Like most pledges of the 70's I was hazed during pledgeship, called lots of names and told to do 1000's of push ups and lots of other calisthenics all in the name of becoming a better brother. And I did everything I was asked to do and can honestly say that no matter how much I hated it at the time, there's nothing I did then I can't talk about publicly now. I was lucky in that regard and I know hundreds of members of my fraternity and other fraternities who don't want to talk about their pledgeships publicly.
Every pledge class has an active member who is in charge. He may be called the pledge "trainer", "educator" , "chairman" or "boss." This was true then and it's still true today, although the name may have become more politically correct. Something like "membership education director". Typically this guy is someone who's sole value to the fraternity is having a big mouth and acting tough. Usually they are not great students, they have no clue about the values the fraternity was founded on and are more knowledgeable about the local bar scene than the bar exam.
They got the job because they promised to make the pledges better "brothers". You see every fraternity has a group of members who think it's their job to make sure the traditions of the fraternity are carried forward. And completing pledgeship is a critical right of passage for the sake of the "house" to succeed. It doesn't really matter what those traditions are, whether they be "total cans of beer consumed, most women hit on, or trash left to rot in the living room." Rarely are these traditions based on the core values of the fraternity. Things like education, community service and common decency are often left off the list.
Ok so what does that have to do with brothers and members. While everyone who initiates into a fraternity becomes a member, I am suggesting that not everyone becomes a Brother. I'm not trying to confuse you here. We all know members of fraternities are called "brothers". In this argument I'm going to distinguish what I call members from what I'll call Brothers. Let me define the difference:
MEmbers: Initiated into the fraternity. Usually hold offices like social chairman, athletic director, pledge educator/trainer. Have an underlying belief the fraternity founders had them in mind when they held their first party. Usually behind in house payment, social payments, t-shirt payments, etc. Never pay required out of house fees as those are for someone else. First to complain when a scholarship chairman indicates there should be sanctions for not having at least a B- grade point average. Picture themselves coming back to the fraternity after they drop out and teaching the pledges how to play Pong. fraternity motto: What's in it for me?
Brothers: Initiated into the Fraternity. May or may not hold an office as titles are not why they joined. Think about the chapter reputation everyday. Constantly evaluate the ideals of the Fraternity and compare them to their own. Are amazed the founders could chose values that translate so well into today's society. Know the national Fraternity history, local history and have met many of the more renown alumni. Can't believe others compliment them for community and campus service as service has always been a part of their life. Fraternity motto: Service before self.
So here's my theory. We waste way too much time teaching our pledges how to be MEmbers. How long can that take? An hour at a table with flippy cups? Maybe another hour at the local pub trashing the women? So let's have a 3 hour pledeship for members. About 85% of our initiates are lifetime MEmbers. And except for waving at the house as they walk by on football Saturdays between tailgating and Kams, we probably never see or hear from them. They don't donate to the Foundation of the chapter or the university, instead leaving their money behind in liquor taxes.
As for Brothers? Well no amount of pledge ship really matters. These guys already understand the values of the Fraternity. They will learn about the Brotherhood for the rest of their lives, attending reunions, and homecomings and conventions, constantly striving to become a more dedicated contributor to the Fraternity. They will donate their time, their money and their passion to the chapter, the university and their communities. And they will uphold the visions of the Founders in everything they do.
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