A Look at the "Entitlement Generation"

Back to school time is always a busy time for me as several of the student groups I work with set their plans for the upcoming school year.  We sit down and look at what went well last year and what didn't go so well and then try to come up with a plan for doing it better this year.  Now if you are in business this is something you do annually and probably even more often that that.  But for students, this is monumental.  The setting plans for the coming year isn't so hard, but the reviewing the results of last year is more painful than going to the dentist's office and pulling teeth without any Novocaine or pain killers!

Today's generation doesn't want to be held accountable for anything.  If they show up, that's good enough.  I"m thinking about a speech a friend of mine gives to student groups where he laments about all the "participation trophies" his son has on the wall.  When we were growing up, we got trophies for excellence: Winning the championship, achieving the MVP status or some other relevant achievement.  Kids today get trophies for just showing up.  "You were on the team, thank you, here's your trophy." And while showing up is certainly important for the success of any organization, whether a team or a extra-curricular group, it's not the most important thing. 

This generation really shys away from dealing with "tough" situations.  In part their parents have been so protective of them that these kids haven't learned the lessons they need to learn from failure. And as they don't want to deal with the possibility of failure, they often just let the problems continue to exist.   It is as if the stigma of failing is so great that today's youth are afraid to open the door to success.  NBA Great Michael Jordan says it best:

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying.

And comedian Bill Cosby adds:

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

In part I think one of the biggest frustrations teachers, advisors and mentors face today is that our youth just do not want to be held accountable for their mistakes when they do try and fail.  And not only do they not want to be faced with their own failure, they especially don't want to hold their peer group to mistakes they might make.  It's as if holding others to a higher standard might somehow create a higher standard for themselves they can't attain. 

Imagine a mountain climber who comes close to the peak, but doesn't quite make it to the top.  And then every other mountain climber saying, "that's just too tough!"   We all know that is not how life works.  Especially in mountain climbing.  One person's failure is another person's opportunity. 

In an article in WORLDmag.com, Anthony Bradley writes:
If the going gets tough, quit. One could also name this group the “Quitter Generation.” Virtues like patience and perseverance are absent from many in this age bracket. Coddled by affluence and sinfully flattered by parents and nice-guy teachers using speech meant not to hurt a child’s “feelings” or damage “self-esteem,” coupled with parents that refuse to let their children fail at anything, this generation bails quickly when the going gets tough or if there’s no guarantee for success. I had a student drop one of my classes once because he realized that he wasn’t going to receive an A. I’ve known students to give up and fail a class after receiving a series of bad grades instead of buckling down and working harder to raise their grades. It’s pathetic. 

Bradley's reference to coddling hits home with me.  There are so many age 16-21 who need hand holding to accomplish even the most basic tasks.  And if they get a little pouty you can be sure an adult will come and wipe their tears away and "make things better."  I can't imagine my high school coaches, teachers or my father treating me this way. 

So part of the frustration is that our youth doesn't "practice failing."  Learning how to fail and accepting that sometimes things just don't go right helps you become more accountable for failure.  Imagine a baseball player going into a deep funk everytime he made an out.  The best hitters ever were only successful 2 out of 5 attempts.  And the average player  has one of 4 successes.  People make mistakes.  Everyone who knows me knows I have made my share of mistakes.  Abraham Lincoln's life is a true inspiration to me.  I have this on my wall at work:

In 1831, Abraham Lincoln failed in a business venture.

In 1832, Lincoln was defeated as a candidate for the state legislature.

In 1833, Lincoln failed once again in another business venture.

In 1835, Lincoln's fiancee died, shattering him.

In 1836, Lincoln suffered a nervous breakdown.

In 1843, Lincoln was defeated as a candidate for the U.S. Congress.

In 1848, Lincoln once again was defeated as a candidate for the U.S. Congress.

In 1855, Lincoln was defeated as a candidate for the U.S. Senate.

In 1856, Lincoln was defeated as a candidate for U.S. Vice President.

In 1859, Lincoln once again was defeated as a candidate for the U.S. Senate.

In 1860, Abraham Lincoln was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.

Can you imagine the roller coaster his life must have been?  And he summed it up better than I ever could:

Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.    
  - Abraham Lincoln -

So I guess my thought for today is don't be afraid to try.  Don't be afraid to fail.  And don't be afraid to try again. 


Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt