Remembering an Old Friend

 

It's been nearly three months since the phone call came. It was near dawn and the phone ringing scared me out of the room and into the kitchen to answer it. The walk seemed endless, the phone must have rung more times than can ever be counted, and yet I know it was just a matter of seconds. The voice on the other end of the phone was crisp, clear, obviously not a prank of some half-drunk friend. No, it was clear, “Wake up,!”she demanded. “I’ve got bad news.” Then her voice broke. I thought, who's been hurt, her dad, a friend in the house? Never did it occur to me that this tragedy could be so terrible. She paused, “are you awake?” she asked. “What's wrong?” I asked. “Steve's been killed.”. Suddenly the shock sunk deep into my heart. I muttered some words and asked a few questions, but while much was said, little could penetrate through the barrier, the chill that was creeping up my body. Then she said “come down now’, and I stumbled out some words until finally realizing I needed to get away, to see someone, to be with friends, and maybe work out this pain that had gripped my heart.

It was 5:00 AM, should I sleep or call someone... instead I thumbed through a few albums. Jackson Browne, for a dancer comes to mind. I listen, and listen again, and again and finally the words sink in...

               “I don’t Remember losing track of you, you were always dancing in and out of youth, I must have thought you'd always be around. Always keeping things real by playing the ‘clown period now you're nowhere to be found.”

Steve Acheson. And from that moment his name would be etched into my mind, echoing again and again like a needle stuck on a phonograph. A dreamer, a doer, a man, and just beginning to explore his dreams, his actions and his maturity. I met him early in my sophomore year. I remember the encounter well; athletic, intelligent, handsome, and yet polite, courteous and emitting a certain essence that makes you jealous one human being could have so many gifts at once. An awesome first impression, and yet one that was only affirmed and strengthened in time. Steven Walter Acheson

I remember his smile, his humor, his warmth and more than anything else, I remembered how much he cared for others. We talk often with the topics ranging from English to football, pledge ship to life dot dot he loved his family and helped his friends when he saw others not enjoying what he loved, he wondered why. His was a world of dreams. It was possible to change the things around you, if you cared enough that is.

There was a 2 hour wait at work just to get my bearings straight. I arrived 2 hours before anyone else at work, but I couldn't stay at home. Just being there seemed to give me some security. I knew where I had to be, only I had responsibilities. They seemed trivial, and yet I had to hold on to reality. O'Hare airport. I'd been there 100 times, today it seemed empty. There was a page on a loudspeaker for coach Lou Henson. Little did I know it was a message from his wife informing him of this very accident with news that Kevin Bontemps, one of his players, had been in the accident as well but had escaped unharmed.

Finally, Champaign. Nez and Porst are at the airport. Not much was said. Flowers in the foyer. It was real, my hopes of awakening from this nightmare ended. The pain in my heart grew deeper.

I thought back to a month earlier.  3:00 AM and there he was waiting for me. Feeling the night’ socializing and the days long drive catches up with me.  “I'm an IFC,” he said and on 2 committees... you'd be proud!” I always was Steve; I always was...

2 months earlier. Hell week ends and his week-long partners are enjoying their deserved splendors. He finds me walking between here and wherever. There was a firm handshake, then words of praise, and then a hug... It had it had been almost nine months since we stood in the entryway at Phi Kappa Psi and I fumbled the pledge pin a few times until I finally worked the clasp into place... tomorrow he would be a brother.

               “I don't know what happens when people die, can't seem to grasp it as hard as I try. It's like a song I can hear playing right in my ear, that I can't sing, but I can't help listening.”

The family was shattered and yet somehow managed to hold on to the strength all of us had always looked to them for. Steve was the family, like Suzanne, and Bill had been the family before him. There was an empty place at the table. And no one knew quite how to fill it. Even they sense the lack of reality, and then they too started feeling the pain as the numbness began to wear off. Their pain throbbed and no one could bring Steve back to soothe at all.

He was studying one night when I barged in and dragged him to the snack bar to talk. Suzanne had called me and asked that I help him work out this depression that had recently overcome him. Over a greasy cheeseburger and a coke, we talked about his adjustment to life. I think he realized something that frustrates many of the dreamers in the world... not everyone gets enthused about your dreams. His lesson, dream your own dreams, make them happen, and enjoy them as they go by, and then, dream again.

The funeral only began to touch on his life, and what he had given so many others. There were hundreds there, lines around the block, all stunned, all silent. We all thought so young, so tragic... we knew we had each lost a piece of our lives and a place in our hearts. It was if the glimmer of hope that races around inside of us, the dreamer, had died. If God took one of the best, how could the rest of hope to do better. 

I cried when I heard Steve pledged. I had never done that before for a new pledge and would never again. Steve was different though. In the two years I'd come to know him he had become a friend. Somehow, he was the younger brother I never had, and now he was a pledge. I knew I had handled them right. I was criticized for being too fair. But I answered all of his questions as honestly as I could, a practice all too uncommon in fraternity rush, but most of all I treated him like I wished I had been treated. I remember the late night at the Round Robin. One last attempt to sway him before rush. His mother would say later I overdid it, I was being too fair, but there was no room for error. And when he pledged, I cried.

The burial. I didn't hear the minister. I didn't have to. I knew the words all too well. My mother's death suddenly came back to me. Once again, I felt the emptiness, the pain, the sorrow and the confusion I had felt before from someone else I had loved died.  I knew these words … “Ashes to ashes dust to dust...” Then words I didn't know, the fraternity ritual. There was a flower from each brother, and then a pause, and Jim and Bill broke off their own fraternal offering from the bouquet at the base of the wooden casket. A son, a brother, a friend, we would all miss his love.

               “I can't help feeling stupid standing around. Crying is the easier down. But I know he'd rather we were dancing, dancing our sorrows away.”

Jackson Browne

David Foster Loved Life....and lots of other things as well

I'm blessed to have had many uncles in my day.  Seven that I can remember and all of them had a profound impact on my life and my character.  None had more impact than Dave Foster.  I have certainly spent more time with Dave than all of other combined. I was fortunate to spend time staying at his house almost every year of my life for over 20 years.  Dave loved life and he especially loved all of the gifts that living brought him.  I felt the best way to pay tribute to him was to just wander through the fabric of life he weaved so carefully.

Dave loved family.  He loved his children, both by blood and by marriage.  He loved each of his grandchildren, and all of his nieces and nephews.  He almost never missed a cross country meet, a soccer game, a swim meet, a football game, or any event where his kids or his grand kids were participating.  He could give you an up to the minute report of each of the kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews.  He was an walking encyclopedia of all things Foster, Salen, Thompson, Garnow, Tann, Alcorn and any other branch of the family.  He had the gift of making every member of his family feel like the most important and most loved member.  

Dave loved his wife Peggy.  Oh you might question this as they argued constantly.  But at the end of the day he would climb into his full size bed with Peggy and put the days disagreements behind him.  He was devoted to Peggy and spent the good  part of 50 years demonstrating that devotion.

Dave loved golf.  He played almost everyday when the weather permitted.  He was competitive and expected to win every match.  I never beat him.  Not once.  Only one time did I come close.  We would find courses all over New York, Pennsylvania and even Ohio.  The times on the course were some of the best times in my life.  I don't recall him ever hitting a bad shot.  Consistent is an understatement.  I learned a lot about managing my game and my life too spending a few hours hitting the round ball with Dave.  

Speaking of golf, Dave loved to hunt for golf balls.  Whether on his own, or when we were playing.  He would search the tall grass, the edge of the pond, the branches of the trees.  I expect he collected 10,000 or more balls in his life.  He would bring them home, carefully clean and sort them and then hand out an egg container full of your favorite brand.  I can't imagine I will ever lose all the balls he has given me in my life.  I still have several egg cartons!  

Dave loved fresh fruit.  He would slice whatever was in season and serve it with breakfast or lunch every day.  He knew what the farmer's market had gotten this week along with the grocery store.  He also knew exactly when he could go to the orchards and pick his share of peaches, apples, plums not to mention heading to the vineyards for fresh grapes.  

Dave loved grilled cheese sandwiches.  No one made grilled cheese like Dave.  I don't know what he did to make them better.  Afterall it's not a complicated recipe.  But somehow his were better.  And he would heat up some Campbells tomato soup, slice some fruit and you would have the perfect lunch.  

Dave loved to pick berries too.  My grandmother lived on a farm.  She had the best raspberry and blackberries you would ever want to taste.  Dave would pick baskets full and bring them home for jellies and jams.  When it was time to sell grandma's house Dave transplanted some of those bushes in into his own back yard so he was guaranteed to still have berries.  

Dave also love rhubarb and he kept a rhubarb patch in his yard as well.  He made the best rhubarb pie, again I wish I had the recipe.  He would make a pie when I visited.  The standing family joke was if someone who was a guest said "I don't like rhubarb pie" we would chime in and say..."good, that means more for us."

Dave loved Klondike bars and Banana Cream Pie Ice Cream.  He kept a secret stash in the basement freezer as Peggy forbid him to have it.  We won't tell!

Dave loved to take care of his yard.  He planted annuals and perennials, trimmed the trees and bushes, mulched the flower beds and rode his lawnmower like it was a prime Ferrari.  The neighbors were all jealous of just how beautiful his home was.  I nicknamed him "Pedro", his landscape alter ego.

Dave loved his church.  He served selflessly, standing in as an usher even when it wasn't his turn.  He always had stories to tell about the pastor, the members and the programs of the church.  His faith was deeply rooted, so much so that I'm certain that St. Peter has him sprucing up the gardens at the Pearly Gates.  

Dave loved Erie and North East PA.  He would lead a guided tour each time I visited, sharing the latest buildings, restaurants, water front amenities, etc.  He especially loved North East PA.  He respected the downtown like it was Times Square and treated it as such.

Dave loved sports.  Professional, high school, little league.  He was an expert on virtually every team in nearly every sport.  He had a special knack for remembering odd statistics and could talk intelligently on everything.

Dave loved his dog Chewy, and almost every dog he ever met.  He loved his walks with the dog and loved having him sit on his lap as he petted him to sleep.  

You see, Dave loved life.  He was an example for all of us to remember to "Make Every DAY Matter."  I hope you can see I very much loved Dave Foster as well.  I'll think of you every time I tee it up on the first tee.  Every time I slice into a fresh peach, every time I sneak a Klondike bar, every time I eat a slice or two of rhubarb pie, every time I plant flowers in my garden and every time I'm blessed to spend time with your family.  I'll miss you Dave...and I'm not giving up on beating you on the links.  

Only the Good Die Young!

 

It was the summer leading into my senior year in college.  I was really fortunate my high school freshman basketball coach, Stan Woerner, hired me to run his Ice Cream delivery business.  Think Good Humor trucks.  Stan had a base of delivery trucks in Chicago Heights, Rock Island and Peoria.  He hired me when I was 15, first as a delivery man, and then eventually to run his warehouse.

Running the warehouse meant I met the drivers every morning at the shop when they picked up their trucks and every evening when they brought them in.  My duties were to meet the delivery man twice a week and restock the warehouse, take orders from the ice cream drivers to fill their trucks, fill the trucks, and then count money from the day and take orders for the next day.  I did this throughout my college career.  Stan would ask me "how much I needed for school" and then pay me what I needed plus 10%.  I was extremely fortunate. 

One night while I was at the warehouse checking in drivers and counting money, a man walked in, nylon stocking on his head, bearing a gun.  The gun went to my forehead.  "Give me your money"  We had in the neighborhood of $1500 collected for the day.  I put the money in a gym bag and he left, closing the doors and threatening to shoot if we followed.

I was stunned/shocked during the encounter, but more scared one of the drivers might try to be a hero.  With the gun at my head a sudden movement might be fatal  But...nothing happened.

I called Stan, the police and waited to make a report.  Stan told me to take the money we had left, $50 or so, and go have a drink to decompress.  We locked the warehouse, walked to my car, turned the key and on the radio....Billy Joel.... "Only the Good Die Young"   I couldn't make this up.  True story 

Welcome to America! My journey with Markus

 (Markus has asked to add to this blog. Where you see blue printing are his additions)

January 8, 2022

Once again I embark on the mission of hosting an international student.  This time Markus Kofler from Austria.  Markus is 19, studying business, and is in a study abroad program with the College of Media, my college as an undergrad.  He is a student at Klagenfurt University, although he says with Covid he has yet to be in a single classroom in person.  I picked him up at O'Hare.  He was a bit tired, but managed to stay awake as I drove back to CU in the freezing rain.  I was returning from a New Orleans mission trip the same day and time, so the pick up was perfect.  We traveled back and went to dinner at Casa del Mar.  A great introduction to a new culture!

Arriving at ORD in Chicago I was telling Todd that I was waiting at McDonalds at Terminal 5. I told him several times. Little did I know that he actually had no clue where McDonalds was. Anyways, we eventually managed to find each other and drove down to Champaign. I was tired as hell. We went out for dinner where Todd took an awful photo of me. Looking like a stoned cave man, Mr. Salen made me go viral on Facebook and Instagram… what a wonderful way to become famous..

January 9

Markus and I spent the day getting "buttoned" up.  New phone, groceries, a few necessities.  And most important I added him to my YMCA membership.  It's clear physical activity and healthy eating matters to this young man.  I'm impressed with the maturity he shows and respect for elders.  He and Rizzo have bonded as well.

January 10

Today we did some UIUC orientation projects.  Class locations, schedules, etc.  Also a serious workout.  Markus has become my personal trainer.  OMG  what lies ahead????

January 11

This morning Markus declares we need to drink decaf coffee in the morning and caffeinated coffee in the afternoon.  I tell him the Starbucks Police will be sending him to Russia with that kind of talk.  He cooked a Chicken curry tonight.  Restaurant quality.  Should I pay him to stay here?  

Typically, cortisol levels are at its peak in the morning, so there is no need to consume caffeine right after waking up. I’d rather have a cup of coffee in the afternoon when I actually need it to not fall asleep. No extra charge for my wisdom!

January 14

UI basketball vs. Michigan.  Nice win.  Markus and Zach became fast friends at the game and will be hanging out together with other buds for sure.

January 15

Now the Cola War Armies will be chasing Markus.  He declares soda should be diet only.  I told him Coke and Pepsi will dispose of him and he will never be heard from again!  Nice dinner at Papa Dels with Frank, Shirley, and Wyatt, a freshman student from China.

Don’t drink your calories! Especially not if non-caloric options are offered! Whoever thinks that sugar substitutes give you cancer… it did in rats that consumed about the amount of 500 liters of diet coke a day… just quit smoking, drinking alcohol, eat vegetables & fruit and get to a HEALTHY bodyweight and you’ll be fine

January 17

UI/Purdue double overtime.  Elijah joined Markus at the game.  We continue to train daily.  Who knows I may just get in shape!

January 18

Frank has hernia surgery.  He ends up staying the night while Markus and I cook him dinner and cater to him.  Lucky Frank.  Rizzo is now officially Markus' dog as they walk and play daily.  I hope he will pick up the vet bills

January 19

Markus announces "The shirt you gave me really shrunk in the dryer"  Todd "Ill give you a new one"  (He looks at the shirt, size M.  Todd "That is the shirt I gave you for your girlfriend Celin, your shirt is an xxl"  (After denying he had two shirts, he looks in the closet, finds the xxl and realizes he has been wearing Celin's shirt)  "Oops"  

That was indeed hilarious. To defend myself, Todd laid the shirt for my ‘fiancé’ on my bed without telling me. At least I felt great for a moment, thinking my biceps grew significantly – if things seem too good to be true there is a high chance that it is 

January 24

We went Axe Throwing Saturday night.  Markus was the champion.  Charles from Nigeria joined us and we all had a wonderful time.  We threw axes at a target (not me) for an hour.  Markus continues to impress.  Mature, intelligent, thoughtful.  I love the fact he is a bit cocky about what he knows, and at the same time humble he isn't worthy of future success.  This quality alone will propel him further.  

January 27

Markus is officially an in person student.  Classes opened for in person learning this week, something he was not able to do at Klagenfurt, his university is Austria.  Markus loves to talk, and of course so do I.  He is well versed on most topics and makes a respectable argument when needed.  The gang at the YMCA, the 20 somethings, all flock to him as their teacher/coach in the weight room.  He patiently helps them all while doing his own work and planning mine as well.  I think he would become a full time American student if given the chance. 

January 28

So I made a mistake last night.  Never play with your phone when training with Markus.  He chewed me out for being distracted.  Truthfully I'm glad he cares enough to change my ways.  Most would shake their heads and be non confrontational.  Markus wants me to succeed in my training.  It's hard to find fault in that.

Snow is on the way.  Forecast is for several inches.  My sister wants me to come to NYC to go see Music Man with Hugh Jackman.  I smell trouble in River City.  Who could say no?

Planning a trip to Florida for spring break.  What kind of host would I be if I didn't show Markus Disney??

February 2

I didn't realize I was hosting a drill sergeant!  6 months in the military and Markus is ready for battle.  We are in a major snow storm today.  I'm guessing he will have me shoveling all the driveways in the neighborhood since the YMCA is closed for two days.  Training is coming along nicely.  Clothes are looser and I'm full of energy.  So either I'm on drugs or I'm getting more fit.  I'll assume the latter.  

No, Todd – now that I am in a safe environment again, I want to let you know that I secretly sneaked in your room while you were sleeping & stretched out your clothes.

I'm loving the food selection.  Lots of delicious healthy food.  I have a few snacks I sneak, but I'm recording them all on My Fitness Pal so that isn't cheating.  10 lbs lost in the first month and more to come.  

Rizzo is in heaven.  Between Markus and I he gets several walks per day.  He might be in the best shape of all.  

Working on a trip to see my wonderful sister first week in March.  Can't wait

February 3

Winter is coming!  Wait, winter is here.  About 12+ inches of winter.  Good to know I have the Bavarian Alps Rescue Patrol living in my house.  Things are shut down, although I worked at State Farm for the Ill/Wisc game.   A nice win.  Today we may go to the Atkins Center and take Brad Dancer up on his invitation to visit.  

February 11

Good to have an Alpine skier in the house.  He was great about walking the dog in the snow!  Busy with work and with school.  I'll be leaving Markus, aka Alfred, to watch the house while I head to NYC.  Sis calls and I need to accompany her to Broadway.  Someone has to do it.  

We celebrated one month together.  I must say it's great to feel relevant.  After a rocky few months where I felt I was being taken for granted by the fraternity I am enjoying mentoring and advising a crop of international students and their friends.  I'm down about 8 lbs since Markus arrived and about 12 since December.  Fun to make progress. 

First of all, who is Alfred???

Great decision to leave the frat… you deserve better. Honestly, I admire your patience and kindness with some people. 

Super Bowl Sunday this week.  We will celebrate 6 years since my cancer diagnosis.  A celebration for certain. 

February 25

Wait, no Doritos for the Super Bowl?  UnAmerican.  Markus is changing my habits, but I must say these are positive changes.

Even though we did not have any Doritos in the house, we had a variety of dips, chili, shrimp AND tortilla chips… hold on – aren’t tortilla chips the same as Doritos???

His sore shoulder was x-rayed.  Looks like a separation of the scapula.  He meets a specialist next week.  His birthday was Saturday.  His father asked me to set up a zoom call to surprise him.  7 AM I knocked on his door, and told him there was someone downstairs to see him.  He was a little miffed that I "invited someone to see him so early."  He came downstairs and on the big screen was mom, dad, grandparents, aunt, uncle and girlfriend.  He had a few tears of joy.  

I'm headed to NYC next week.  Markus and Rizzo will adjust!  I hope. 

March 21

We spent a delightful few days in Florida.  I was a bit under the weather, 2 pints short in the blood department due to a perforated colon.  Light headed, short of breath.  Does that stop my vacation plans?  Of course not!  

At the Indianapolis Airport, I became aware of how bad Todd felt. Looking back, I am glad that he did not collapse during our trip, given that he lost blood and he isn’t 20 anymore. My efforts to make him go to the gym and push his limits really paid off!

First a trip to visit mother June and sisters Karen and Cheryl.  Markus has been adopted by the family.  In fact Karen and Tom invited he and fiance Celin to visit and stay at the house anytime.  Shoot I have never been invited to stay at their house!

Then on to Disney.  Busy two days, but a great way to relax a few days and have some fun.  Markus and Goofy are twins I think

Half way into this adventure with Markus.  I'm so fortunate we connected.  We head to New Orleans in two weeks.  Look out Big Easy!

I was deeply impressed in what great shape June was. Honestly, I’d be glad to be in such a condition in my 80s

I knew that Todd insisted on having a Mickey Mouse ice cream bar - so i allowed him to have one as generous as I am

My offer to buy him a Mickey Mouse ice cream bar several times got refused.

As a consequence, Todd still complains I wouldn’t let him have one, which is complete nonsense like his statement that the ‘fresh ice cream bars’ taste way better is nonsense too. How can FROZEN ice cream be fresh - I don’t get it

April 3

New Orleans!  Final Four. Great weekend with Markus and Brandon, my cousin's son.  We spent Friday in the French Quarter.  Great food at Mr. Ed's and then a Hurricane on Bourbon Street.  Crazy people for sure.  Saturday we did a Swamp tour and saw 30+ alligators.  It's amazing something so remote is so close to a big city.  Then the afternoon we went to the Final 4.  Coach K's last game in a loss to UNC.  The Kansas over Villanova.  

The drive to New Orleans was not as bad as I expected - even though Todd was the driver XD

Being busy studying and writing lab reports didn’t hinder me from checking once in a while if the driver was still awake.

Sunday we did a city bus tour after a morning/afternoon at the gym.  I highly recommend Oshner Gyms.  They have a great work out area and indoor outdoor pools.  Then we did the bus tour.  So much to learn about such an interesting city.  Travel tip for the week.  There is a Cafe du Monde near the Met Museum of Art.  It's in a stand alone building.  Drive there, get your coffee and beignets and save two hours of waiting in line!

We did dinner at Mandina's.  I will go back there in a heartbeat.  Great combination of classic New Orleans and Italian as well.  Loved it!

Monday we lifted again at the gym and went to the Championship game.  Pregame at the Fan Experience and then enjoyed the Kansas win.  So much more fun when you don't care who wins. 

We had delicious cajun foods, including raw oysters. According to Wikipedia, oysters increase libido in men - I really don’t wanna know what happened in the room where Brandon and Todd were sleeping … or at least i assume they where sleeping :0

April 20

A great two weeks.  The stay is winding down and I must say I'm not excited about Markus heading home.  We have had such a good time just hanging out.  Working out at the gym, shopping, going to dinner with friends.  Tonight Ebertfest starts and I'm taking him to the President's house for a reception.  I'll bet President Tim hires him to run the university health system.  :)

Roberta and Tim presented themselves as outgoing and down to earth people which I really like. I’m sure they are doing a great job in representing the U of I.

We are planning a trip to NYC to see my sister.  We have yet to see Chicago so I need to fit that in too.

April 28

Inside 4 weeks until Markus heads to see his host family from his Texas stay as a high school tourney.  He had an extended talk with President Tim Killeen's wife Roberta.  She has spent some time in Austria and was enjoying the discussion.  Markus met Chaz Ebert as well.  He is studying diligently as finals are 10 days away.  Then we head to NYC for a few days.  It should be a very nice visit for sure.  I know Markus is eager to meet my superhero nephews and amazing sister.

Tonight is opening night at 25th Annual Putnam County Spellimg Bee at Centennial  I'm taking Markus to see it tomorrow.  He needs a little culture.  Man cannot live by weight training and protein bars alone..  

He is a consistently engaging young man.  Respectful, hard working and passionate.  He is a master at debating topics!   Just ask him.  I see a bit of my younger self in him before I learned to pick my battles.  Although I must say I think I fought every battle and he is more selective.  

I'm certain he could be rich in America as a personal trainer.  His personality invites you to work hard and achieve high goals.  Not everyone can pull that off.    

May 5

Reading Day at UIUC.  This means that students are studying for finals.  I think I mostly recovered from hangovers on reading day.   Markus of course is studying, working out and finalizing his back flip.  Yes you heard me right.  Markus wants to learn a back flip and has been training with the gymnastics club.  I can't wait for the debut.

I wish I started one week earlier with training at the gymnastics club. I believe I can do one, but  I further want to work on my technique. Stay tuned! 

A week of finals and then we had to NYC.  I have 7 closings scheduled and I need the cash!  Interest rates went up today and I think business will be slowing.

May 21

A wonderful few days in NYC.  Tomorrow Chicago.  We went to the top of the Freedom tower, 9/11 museum, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, walked to the sunset in Brooklyn Park, around the lake at Central Park, saw Phantom, had nephew Jules cook us dinner at his restaurant, Pips, took the Big Bus around town, went to Chelsea Market, Little Island and walked to Hudson Park on the west side.  We were busy.  All wrapped around a visit with sister Kristina.  Had plenty of visit time with sis, Markus made breakfast on the last day.  Only 3 days left.  I'm a little sad but look forward to more visits here and there. 

I’m so glad Todd could take a couple days off to take me to NYC. Meeting Kris, her boys Arlo and Jules and her boyfriend Mark was an inspiration.

Despite feeling a little sick from not being able to lift weights, my brain released a good amount of dopamine as I saw the step counter climbing up to >25k steps each day.

I never expected that I would enjoy the Broadway show that much. Awesome experience - highly recommended!

Rotary Action Auction last night, over $250,000 raised, and then Markus headed to Joe's  His first campus bar night. 

Tonight we have a farewell dinner.  Charles is coming along with Frank and Zack.  Hopefully Josh as well.  Carolyn will join us as well.

Funny that Todd never mentioned that he officially forgave me for not letting him have a Mickey Mouse ice cream bar at Disney in Orlando. He always insisted on having this treat like a little TODDler. So I took initiative and bought us some Italian ice cream cone. In return, said “I forgive you for not letting me have a Mickey Mouse ice cream bar in Florida”. I made him repeat that statement and recorded it on my phone. I am well equipped – I have evidence now.

 Todd pretty much paid for all of our journeys which was not included in my monthly rent. Every time I wanted to pay for something, Todd would instantly say, no you don’t need to, you will pay me back when I come visit you in Austria. Well, he’s definitely giving me a hard time figuring out how in this world I should make so much money?! 

May 24

Well this is a day I have not been looking forward to.  I dropped Markus at O'Hare for the final time THIS Year. Yes I say this year because I'm confident he will return with his girlfriend, Celin, next year or sometime after that.  I must say I had a tear in my eyes when I hugged him goodbye.  He is truly a remarkable young man, bright future ahead, no where to go but up.  I can't wait to watch this star shine for a long time to come.

We did make is to Chicago on Sunday.  We went to the top of the Willis Tower, rode the architecture boat on the Chicago River, walked through Millennium Park, ate at Lou Malnati's and drove up Michigan Avenue and back on Lake Shore Drive.  A fine one day tour if I say so myself!  

I drafted a letter to Markus that I gave him to read on the plane ride out of town.  I'll share it now.  There are some inside jokes for sure, but I hope you can enjoy the sentiment.

After MY farewell dinner and the trip to Chicago (yesss, finally!) I had to pack my stuff again - but this time all of it.

I was looking forward to meeting my former host family in Dallas but simultaneously I was a little sad about having to leave the U of I campus, the friends I made, and of course Todd & Rizzo. But that’s normal considering spending incredible 5 months under the same roof.

This is a letter I gave to Markus to read on the plane

Markus

I will never be able to thank you enough.  I truly believe God had a plan when he connected Helmut to me on the November day resulting you moving in.  After two years of gradually falling into the covid trap of accepting less than my best efforts in many areas of my life, most especially my health and willingness to change, all of the sudden you come along and literally whip me into shape.  You have been a true blessing to me, my family, my friends and of course…Rizzo! 

I want to remember as many of the things I can that make you special.  I’ve made a list and wanted to share.  I know I have forgotten some things, but this is a start:

Thank you for….

Taking the bus when I was too busy to drop you off or pick you up

Doing laundry without asking

Buying and attaching the phone holder in my car

Driving me all around town in YOUR car.

Reminding me to stop and enjoy the sunsets

Making breakfast; your eggs and oatmeal are amazing!

Walking Rizzo

Sharing your/my girlfriend 😊

Throwing away my Doritos/pretzels/snacks… (maybe I did it 😊)

Introducing me to Cauliflower rice and many other “wegetables”

Making an endless pot of Decaf coffee (you are right, decaf coffee is best!

Pudding

Peanut Butter

Protein Shakes

Trucks

Laughing so hard when June was in the car and we were discussing Trucks

Reminding me that diet soda is delicious

Being so patient with Frank

Reminding me I MUST be more patient with Frank

Mickey Mouse Ice… (Wait…forget that, you didn’t let me have one…)

Playing with Rizzo

Making vegetarian lasagna, chicken curry (I still want the recipe for the curry sauce)

Showing me how to cook and enjoy pumpkin

Loading bagels in the toaster, prepping eggs, avocado so I can get my day started right

Having a bright Halo that makes me and everyone you meet feel better just being around you

Making me feel relevant again

Listening and treating me like I have something important to say

Making pudding almost everyday

Loving Illinois, Go Illini!

Watching out for me when I was sick

Taking my bowls, plates and serving dishes and washing them

Cleaning up after meals and putting all the food away

Filling and emptying the dishwasher

Training me. Coaching me, challenging me …. You are a terrorist!

Caring enough to scold me when I was not engaged or paying attention

Helping/battling/encouraging me to lose 30!!! Pounds (so far)

Changing my life when I desperately needed it

Laughing at my jokes, we both know they were hilarious! (Especially the Austrian military snow guarding)

Laughing at my snoring

Laughing at our edible experiences

Laughing at life!

Tolerating my stories

Being a friend I can count on now and in the future

Becoming a part of my family

Making Every DAY Matter!

I want to make a pact that we agree to talk at a minimum once a quarter.  You can update me on your successes, and I can update you on my progress in changing the world.  We are linked forever, and I truly look forward to hearing more and sharing more of your life.  You always have a place to stay, a travel mate in America and other places and someone you can talk to when you need someone to listen.   

Thank you Professor Calvin!  I will always be in debt and thankful for the time we have spent together.

Final Note from Markus

Everything Todd did for me was exceptional.

Starting from living at his house, buying food, letting me take his car, driving me to my morning classes, adding me to his gym membership, introducing me to so many people, making time for traveling with me & even paying for literally everything!

 This man has such a big heart, such that I sometimes wonder if he in fact never lost blood but instead his heart demanded so much that the rest of his body becomes blood-deficient.

Jokes aside, at times it made me mad how Todd puts his effort in mentoring, helping or in general supporting other students, but doesn’t even get a “thank you” in return. Todd, you deserve better!

But you know it yourself, the ones that appreciate you will stick around.

 Anyways, you told me I can pay you back once YOU visit Austria. I absolutely have no clue how I should pay you back… it seems to be another episode of Mission Impossible. But at least I will try.

 One last thing - there’s one condition you’ll need to satisfy in order to get invited to Austria - that is 250lbs

 No need to elaborate the meaning behind this number. I am certain you can do it (given that you continue what we always did)!

I don’t want you to die when we go on a mountain hike hehe XD

 Much success on your journey,

Your coach, Professor Calvin, Goofy, the master debater, Mr. kUfler… whatever my nickname was

We’ll stay in touch! ;-)

Todd Salen Why Community Theater Matters

A Mentor, A Teacher, A Friend, A Peacemaker. Goodbye Bob Weber.

There was an incredibly bright light last night.  Then a loud crack of lightning.  It was as if the sun peeked out for a moment in the middle of the darkest storm.  And this is how Bob Weber chose to say goodbye to us.  I'm certain God was giving Bob a lesson on how to use the heavenly lighting board and Bob thought.... "just for fun I'm going to push this button."  Bob was always a showman.

If you have been involved in theater in Central Illinois over the past 25 or so years you have met Bob.  I'm certain you have met his incredible bride Jan as well.  Gracious, loving, patient, kind, appreciative, devoted... there are many words that define Bob Weber.  I'm certain Bob has a full closet or two filled with black pants and t-shirts, the official wardrobe of stage hands.  He loved working backstage and helping to create amazing theater. 

Bob loved theater.  He loved working with men and women and boys and girls and dogs and cats.  If you were an actor, he wanted to help you shine bright!  He encouraged everyone.  I'm certain he never had a bad day at the theater.  And he had a way to take dramatic differences and creating art.  

I am someone who was in the middle of a few overly dramatic moments in productions I have been involved with.  There are times when I wanted to burn bridges to solve problems.  And then...there would be Bob to bring me back to earth and help me see my stubbornness was not helping the team get to opening night.

Bob loved opening night.  He loved rehearsal.  He loved tech week.  He loved closing night.  He loved strike.  He especially loved the cast and crew meals after strike.  He loved spending time with actors, and volunteers and parents and staff personnel, and well, Bob loved people.

Bob was so amazingly patient.  I am the poster child for "no skills required" when it comes to volunteering for community theater.  I have spent the past 17 years as a pupil in the school of Bob Weber.  I have learned how to use a table saw, a chop saw, a router from Bob.  I have installed windows and doors.  Hung libraries from ceilings.  I have built rotating stages with Bob.  Flew "The Beast" over a flaming pit.  Helped Mary Poppins land at center stage, with his guidance.  I have built small cities, small houses, and fancy cars under his tutelage. He loved the challenge of figuring out how to build something special.

He was patient especially with all of the volunteers.  Before shows, he would mentor many on the art of hanging and focusing lights.  Most shows required sets to be hung from the rafters and there was Bob teaching us all how to "fly" the set.  Sometimes we had to take out the orchestra pit and sometimes we had to cover the pit up for more stage space.  Lots of pieces of the puzzle all needing to be in the perfect place and Bob showing us the way with his road map.

Bob taught us all what upstage and downstage and stage right and stage left means.  He taught us to respect the space we were "borrowing" for the week.  He taught us to admire and encourage the actors, even if it wasn't their best night.  He reminded us we were there for the audience.  He taught us to love THEATER.  Especially musical theater.  

And today I can only think about the things I wish I would have/could have learned from Bob.  Even though I have been involved with him for over 35 shows, I feel like I had so much more I could have learned.  I always wanted to be a stage manager.  I always wanted to program the light board.  I should have asked Bob because he would have patiently taught me how to do it. 

So I'm eager for the next thunderstorm.  I'm confident Bob will be running the light board and it will be spectacular. 

Thanks Bob Weber.  It has been an honor to be your friend.  

Sellers, Picking the right offer!