Surviving Cancer, an essay by Michael Markstahler

One of my friends on Facebook, Michael Markstahler, posted this essay on his experiences with cancer.  It is so eloquently written that I asked if I could share it on my post.  So many of Michael's experiences were also my experiences.  Thank you Michael for permission to share with my other friends.

Cancer is one of those words that makes you go quiet. For a large number of people what they hear is “now you are going to die”. Because of this profound meaning, learning you have cancer gets your attention.

Cancer is a tricky thing. It is a mutation of cells from your own body. What caused that mutation? You will not find an honest oncologist that will tell you they know. That single fact is why we have the phrase ‘cancer survivor’ for people declared cancer free after a bout with it. One is not cured because no one knows why it first appeared.

It was the cancerous cells that were beaten back not the first cause. Not knowing the first cause leaves you with the possibility it will be back. Thus ‘cancer survivor’; so far you are still here with us, you are still surviving.

The beginning of June 2017 I was diagnosed with lymphoma. Lymphoma is a slow growing cancer. In fact in its early stages the standard protocol is ‘watchful waiting’ and doing nothing. This phase can last for years.

Mine however was not discovered until stage IV. I had already had it for years not knowing. Mine had progressed to a fast developing aggressive version. The oncologist laid out for me there was about a 16% chance of survival. There were months of chemo and anti-body therapy. This month is the one year anniversary of my being told l was cancer free.

I know some survivors march in parades, raise funds for research, radically change the direction of their life. It never affected me that way. I have led my life as a collector of experiences. Looking back, while there were a few, I think there were not many, damn stupid things I tried. Perhaps a few more simply stupid things. But mostly, I have been restless, I bore easily. I like the act of taking on something new. That is why my career ‘path’ looks like a zigzagged line rather than an advancing step by step predictor of the next phase.

I have just started my second year of ‘preventive’ immune therapy treatments designed to lower the statistical chance of re-occurrence from 25% down to about 7%. I feel fine, life is great. My wife’s fear of losing me and going on without me has subsided. We are happy.

But one should not just collect experiences for a hobby. The experiences should change you, round edges, crack you open a bit creating new different sharp edges, give you a few yet unexplored grassy knolls where you can stand up on your hind legs and get a new different look at things.

It is not the chemo. I have been sick before so I was ready to be sick with chemo. I had heard stories. Remember getting food poisoning or the flu? Imagine getting both of those together, at regularly scheduled intervals, for months and months. That is kind of like chemo. You have no choice it is something you simply endure and wade through.

No, what I learned was humility. I learned it is not about me. It is about the story of life; the ongoing rolling flow of it. I sat for hours in that room again and again quietly watching all kinds of folks, some clearly losing the battle, still going on. Some were afraid, some wrapped themselves in dignity others with a rough cloak of determination. On occasion I would read the obituary of someone I had chatted with a few weeks before. In those chats I had listened to their life stories, about their grand kids, their hopes, their plans, how the damn cancer had put things off.

One fellow told me he was getting chemo and radiation. That was to shrink the large cancerous tumor growing inside of him to a size the surgeons thought might be operable. He was running his business from that chemo chair. His foremen would pop in to get instructions for the day or to have a planning session.

Just this morning I received a telephone call from the son of a friend. He has been fighting for 18 years. Two years ago the cancer came back. He is in the hospital again. His son does not think Rock will be coming home one more time. When I first met him he had been a survivor for 15 years, excited about retirement from a career as a bartender and looking forward to immersing himself into the culture of downtown Champaign. For two years he got to do that.

My year with cancer, I like to think, helped me become more tolerant, excepting and more humble than I was before I got the call “Mr. Markstahler your scan shows tumors throughout your body, we need you to come in today for more tests.”

Bob Auler - Truly a man who loved life!

I'm not surprised that Bob Auler would have heart failure.  No one had a bigger heart or had it full of the things he loved more than him.  He roared like a Grizzly Bear but in truth was a big teddy bear.  More passionate about the things and the people he loved than virtually anyone else I have ever met.  I'll miss you Robert Auler.  But at the same time I know you are watching over all of us, between innings of Cubs games, in heaven that is.

Bob loved so many things.  His children, Robbie, Jamie, Jen.  When he talked about them he glowed.  I have known Bob for over 30 years and in that time children were always the first thing he wanted to talk about.  Recitals, grandchildren and the successes of each of his relatives were at the top of his list.

He love the Cubs.  He grew up listening to WGN radio just as I did.  With that came a never ending passion for stories of Banks, Santo, Beckert, Kessinger, Jenkins and Hundley.  Bob dreamed of wearing the pin stripes and lived his dreams by attending Cubs fantasy camps.  Get him started on his trips to Arizona and soon he had you believing he had embarrassed Ferguson Jenkins by hitting his fast ball over the center field fence, with the crowd roaring and Jack Brickhouse screaming "Hey Hey".

Bob loved the Illini.  He agonized over every loss, every fumble and every missed opportunity.  He will forever be connected to Illinois Football where he valiantly defended Dave Wilson, a UI quarterback seeking eligibility after transferring, vs. the NCAA.  Bob got national pub for that case and he relished it.  But while Bob may not have been to every basketball, football or baseball game in his life, especially in his later years, he made a point to listen to the radio and read every word in the papers.  Bob's long term friendship with Mr. Illini Loren Tate was something he cherished, especially the opportunity to read Loren's columns before they were printed.  I suspect that Bob has the lineups for the 1989 and 2005 Final 4 basketball teams tattooed on his body.  And somewhere in heaven he can watch the 1983 Football Victory over Michigan over and over again.

Bob loved to write.  I wish I had a quarter for every time he told me about the books he had written and how well received they were.  Ironically as much as I read I have never read one of his books.  I know though that he had himself in the same league as Grisham, Hemingway, Steinbeck and perhaps Shakespeare.  He was passionate about putting to paper his fiction and as many have told me, most certainly him, he was good at it.

He loved to eat.  Going out with Bob was a treat.  We had breakfast together many times over the years, whether most often at Taffies or most recently at Urbana Gardens.  He savored bacon, eggs, toast and even biscuits and gravy.  And dinner with Bob was food extravaganza.  He rarely failed to order appetizers or dessert.  He loved ice cream nearly as much as I did so a sundae after a meal was often in order.

Bob loved his friends.  Always the center of attention in any group, Bob was loyal to his friends and we were all loyal to him.  Each of us has a "Bob Auler" story where he went out of his way to help us and never asked for a dime.  These stories are personal and for the most part private.  He didn't want credit, he just wanted to know he could help.

Bob loved Matilda.  Matilda is a big bloodhound.  Free spirited, full of energy, Matilda was to dogs what Bob was to life.  Full of it.  She loved Bob and Bob loved her.  One of the most important support groups I have had in my battle with cancer has been the "Doggie Play Group" friends.  15 or so people who hang out together while our dogs play.   Bob invited me to play group almost 10 years ago.  Some of my best friends, many I would have never met otherwise, are in that group.  I loved coming to play group in the morning at 7 AM or so and sitting with Bob and discussing the latest in sports, local or national news or just our personal lives.  Bob read he newspaper religiously keeping him well versed on every subject.   The last two years have been difficult for Bob to make play group with his walking limitations, but still once in awhile he would pull up with Matilda in he silver SUV with the "SUEM" license plates and spend a few minutes telling us stories.

Bob loved the law. He was committed to fairness and especially the idea that everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance.  I can't begin to tell you the numbers of times I consulted Bob because a student I was connected with got into trouble, serious trouble.  Bob would advise me on what to say, where to go and who to call and in each case follow up and make certain the student was treated fairly.  Again, all without asking for a dime.  Students mattered to Bob.  I suspect at some point he was treated unfairly and felt obligated to pay it back.  No matter how he came upon this this principle, he was devoted to it.

I want to share a couple of stories about Bob.  In 1989 Bob took over the Champaign County Colts minor league baseball team.  I think he managed it for two years but it may have been three.  I was working for the DIA at the U of I and assigned to Illinois Field where the Colts played.  My job was to make sure we had the fields ready and provide what his team needed for their home games.  Bob was a cross between George Steinbrenner, ornery, and Bill Veeck, full of creativity.

One day I mentioned to Bob I had this vision of every game starting with the James Earl Jones monologue from Field of Dreams.  The "People will Come" speech.  http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechfieldofdreams.html
The next game Bob had it playing on the sound system and continued to play it each game the Colts played there.

Another day Bob told me he was bringing an elephant to the game,  to come in from center field and deliver the game ball to the pitcher.  We had recently installed a irrigation system with lots of plastic piping.  I envisioned an elephant foot snapping a pipe or sprinkler head and told him no, the elephant could be outside in the parking lot, but not on the field.  He wasn't happy.

Still another day Bob wanted to have local magician, Andy Dallas, be suspended by a crane above the pitcher's mound, escape from a straight jacket and deliver the game ball to the pitcher.  I told him, "great idea, but no crane on the infield."  The crane ended up outside the outfield fence and Andy dropped the ball to the centerfielder.  It was fun, but not what Bob wanted.

We had a great few years though and I respected his passion for the game.  He brought mutual close friend Stacy Pomonis to run the concession stand.  Stacy ran Taffies and Merry Annes, two local restaurants where Bob ate regularly and as far as I know never paid for a meal.  I would get so mad a Bob some days because he had ignored one of our rules that I would go sit with Stacy in the concession stand and cool off.  It's funny in retrospect because it was two massive egos, his and mine, nose to nose.  I think that is why we were such good friends, we were cut out the same cloth.

Bob's son Robbie helped Bob run the Colts.  He was the General Manager at the ripe old age of about 16.  Robbie is truly one of the most talented musicians to ever come from Central Illinois.  A professor of music and skilled pianist, Robbie has played in Carnegie Hall several times.  Brilliant would be the word to describe him  Robbie reminded me at the visitation how Bob would record attendance for the Colt games.  We might look around and count 80 or so at the game including the players and umpires.  Bob however would tell us "we had over 700 at the game."  Robbie and I think he was including the crickets. 

One of my closest friends, Steve Nieslawski, grew up in Oglesby IL, Bob's hometown, and ending up clerking for Bob for three years.  One winter day Bob comes in the office and tells Steve, "grab your coat, we have to leave."  Bob and Steve walked 4 blocks to University Avenue and proceeded to throw snowballs at the billboard across the street.  Steve said Bob was the "best snowball thrower he ever saw."  Not surprising of course.  I'm sure in Bob's mind he was Adolpho Phillips throwing from deep centerfield to Randy Hundley, in time to nail Lou Brock advancing from second to home on a base hit.

So I hope you can see what I mean when I say Bob's heart was eventually going to give out.  He had every inch of it filled with the things he loved.  It's supposed to snow tomorrow.  I think I may go throw snowballs at billboards in tribute to my friend.  RIP buddy.

Rick Frederick Post Season Partner, Great Basketball Referee

It has been a rough week.  Three people I knew passed away.  Two that I was close friends with and one whom I greatly admired.  It doesn't seem fair at all.  Two of them have been battling cancer as I have been for the past few years.  And then the tide turned and they are gone.  The hardest for me to deal with is my long time referee friend Rick Frederick

 

Rick was not a complicated guy by any means.  He loved a few things, his family, always making time for a Saturday night dinner even in the busiest time of the basketball season, the Cubs, heading to Arizona annually to see his beloved Cubs in spring training.  No one was happier for a World Series win than Rick was.   And Rick loved to referee basketball, especially girls high school basketball.  He was a GREAT referee.  In fact he made it to the top of the ladder, officiating the girls championships in Illinois three times.

I had the pleasure of going to the state finals all three years Rick was assigned.  Over the years we worked over 300 games together, more than a third of them in state tourney assignments.  We were "partners" as we climbed the ladder together.  And truly the term partners is appropriate.  Referees spend endless hours going to clinics, studying the rule books at local association meetings, and driving late at night in horrible weather to make sure the "game goes on."  Rick was no exception here.  He was a dedicated student of the game, sharing his insights with the people he worked with.

As the two of us were climbing the ladder at the exact same time I must confess I had a jealous streak in me.  I think we all believe we are better than our partners, except of course when we are working with the really great officials in the area.  But in order to deal with the challenges of the fans/coaches/players etc, I believe officials adopt an attitude of being in charge and with that comes a bit of ego whereby I was the best official on the court.

This wasn't true when I was working with Rick.  Despite my wish for it to be different, he was indeed the most talented, fair and patient.  He just had the right temperament for girls basketball.  He understood the nuances of the game and helped his partners to work the "perfect game."  I think there were situations in a game I might have been better at handling, however overall, he handled the entire game better.

As a result Rick was always rated higher than me.  Coaches and officials rate us.  These ratings determine who will "move up the ladder" and who will get knocked off.   Again, jealousy prevailed as I just couldn't understand how he could be rated higher.  It seems funny now how this bothered me.  And of course I wasn't willing to invest  the time/effort losing weight and studying the game to get ahead of him.  Which is why now I say Rick was a GREAT referee and I was just pretty good.

We had a lot of fun working together.  Many a big game with some great players.  We refereed Candice Parker a few times, the best player I have ever been on the court with.  And we refereed a lot of not so good players.  I remember working with Rick in Decatur in the first round of the regionals when a #16 seed played a #17.  Those were the two worst teams in our area and it showed.  But our last game in the post season that year was at Redbird Arena in Normal so it was worth it.

We worked our post season games mostly with Roger Nichols from Bloomington Normal.  Another Great referee, Roger recently joined the softball umpire hall of fame.   But many of our games/non-post season were with the one and only Terry Holleman.  Terry also worked the state finals and is a Great official.  But, he has a mean streak......  And so I need to tell a few Rick stories.

A couple of highlights.  One year Terry and I decided to let Rick referee (throw the ball up to start the game and run the captains meeting) for every game in the State Farm tourney (8).  Normally you would rotate, but Terry and I were mean.  Rick liked to talk in the captains meetings.  He might talk 3 or 4 minutes talking about games situations that could come up.  Personally other than meeting the captains I think captains meetings are a waste of time as the players just want to get the game started.  So I put Rick on the clock, I told him he had one minute to run the meeting and I kept the count down.  He was rattled, Mr. In Control was not that.  And it was cruel and funny.

Later in his career Rick had hip problems and it was hard for him to put his socks on.  Terry, always the devil, would wait until Rick was standing trying to get balanced and then he would push him just when he was in the right position to step into his socks.  Here was Rick falling all over the locker room.  Eventually Rick started wearing his "game socks" to the game if he knew he was working with Terry or I.   During the games Terry would roll the ball to him instead of throwing him a chest pass and Rick struggled to bend over and pick it up.  Again, cruel and funny.

When you are in the mix to move up to the state finals you know that the big guns at the IHSA office are probably going to come see you in person prior to assigning you to the state final round.  Rick and I were assigned to Sectionals at Normal HS and we were sure Marty Hickman and then Beth Sauser would come see us.  So in the pregame I  would joke "I saw Marty in the stands.."  Rick would always tense up if he thought they were there.  One game some of our friends made Marty masks and brought them to the game.  Cruel and funny!

I said earlier Rick studied the rules.  And he would look for oddities in the rules and would bring them to our games or the local IBOA association meetings.  One year he was obsessed with the fact the rule book only permitted two free throws for a foul and therefore if you were fouled on a three point try you could only award two free throws.  My answer was, I'm giving them three free throws, you can issue two and listen to the coaches and fans.  Also I would often tell him on the odd rules if you can't administer the play, don't call it!

On a serious note though you ask people what they remember about Rick and universally they will say "he was a quiet guy."  I guess he was, but not around Terry or I or some of his other regular partners.  Coaches loved his temperament and his ability to understand and manage the game.  I admired him for his commitment to the game, to his family and to those of us who had he honor to work with him.  Rick you will be missed my friend.

2017 - A Bonus Year!

(This is letter I sent with my Christmas cards this year.  Merry Christmas to all)

This is a bonus year.  We take for granted the time we have.  I know I have for most of my life.  And this year has truly been a blessing for me.  More about that later.  For now, you all know last year was a war.  I won most of the battles and ended the year pretty much where I started, recovering. 

So as the curtain closed on 2016 I was just out of the hospital again, this time for an enzyme overload in my liver.  Keytruda immunotherapy drugs had created the imbalance and the doctors chose to put a stint in to drain the excess fluids.  I can’t imagine everyone not wanting to spend the New Year’s celebration with a tube hanging out your side.  Open the valve and I could spray everyone with some “special sauce.” 

Health set back or not, I had tickets for Las Vegas first week of January.  I promised Guanheng I would take him there for his 21^st birthday, even if that meant carrying a bucket on the plane to drain into.  I was surprised they have sealed bags for you to hook up to for travel.  Although TSA did give me a stare when they saw my drainage contraption.

Vegas was a blast.  First trip for me with no convention or meetings attached.  We spent time doing just about everything.  Grand Canyon, David Copperfield, Hoover Dam, you name it.   The weather was perfect.  We walked a lot, which I truly needed to do.  And we pretty much saw all the casinos.  Highlights were food, the Golden Nugget Buffet is still great, Gordon Ramsay’s Fish and Chips and In and Out Burger.  Those stops alone made the trip nearly perfect. 

February started the Coaches vs Cancer team kick off.  I was one of 9 local “celebs” charged to raise money for the American Cancer Society.  Thanks to some very generous fraternity brothers, friends and family I was able to raise more than the others and was a “guest of honor” at the new basketball coach’s table for the banquet.  It was so much fun I have enlisted to do it again this spring.  Watch out for my requests for a donation.

The best part of the Coaches vs Cancer campaign was an article written by Deb Pressey on my battle.  She captured it so well, calling me to make sure my quotes were accurate.  Here is the link if you didn’t see it, http://www.news-gazette.com/news/local/2017-02-07/diagnosis-or-not-hes-living-all-out.html 

I returned to a battery of tests in March.  About every conceivable scan and blood test.  Bottom line, the good doctor proclaimed me in remission.   Officially, “stage 4 colorectal cancer in remission”.  That’s a lot of letters and words to say I’m doing just fine.  The only issues I have are numbness in my hands and feet from the chemo I took last year. 

I am still taking chemo every three weeks.  The Keytruda clinical study is continuing.  I’m perfectly happy to be taking the drug, but have to keep taking steroids as the drug creates liver issues.  A fine trade.  Enough about health issues.  Just know I’m feeling good, started working out with a trainer, and will be my old self again soon.

April I headed to my father’s birthplace, North East, PA, to spend time with relatives for Easter.  It was wonderful to see aunts, uncles, cousins, etc and reassure them that I was still ornery.  I love northern PA along Lake Erie and try and get there every year if I can.  This was I test of my driving skills with the numbness, but I passed the test. 

My plans were to have June be the “return to normal schedule” month for me.  That means my traditional over commitments and over booking.  I succeeded!  A trip to Pinehurst NC for nephew Drew’s wedding followed by a week in Virginia Beach for our church mission trip.  Brandon Foster, my cousin Dana’s son, accompanied me on this adventure.  We met sister Kristina and her boys in Pinehurst, had a grand time there, and then headed to Virginia.   It was wonderful, a great two weeks of family, fellowship and worship.  Add in the service projects and I felt in my element for the first time in 18 months.

By the time I returned we had started work on the summer musical for the Champaign Urbana Theatre Company, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.   This show was marvelous for sure, director Jeff Dare’s vision was brilliant, and we were able to bring it to life.   I love producing for CUTC and love having shows in the Virginia Theatre.  Spectacular.  I’m on board for another show in 2018.

A quick trip to Columbus in mid-July for some fraternity training.  I’m always learning more about 18-21 year olds and the issues they face.  Then off to Chicago for James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt at Wrigley Field.  Talk about a wonderful evening.  Breezes off the lake and the timeless JT tones filled the air.  I took brother Frank to the show as it was his 50^th birthday and he loved the experience. 

In August I headed to Boston for Nathan Kelsey’s wedding.  Nathan is another in my top 5 all-time brothers.  A remarkable young man with visions of idealism and optimism.  In addition he is one of my fraternal golf partners, a small group of dedicated white ball chasers.  Nathan married a beautiful doctor, a very smart woman, who will give him plenty of space to chase his dreams.   I went early to the wedding and used the time to traverse the local towns and villages.  It’s amazing to see the architecture and history of the area.  I love Boston so much and could spend weeks exploring. 

September brought the normal back to school challenges.  Goal setting for the fraternity chapter, retreats, and motivating the young men to succeed.  They are doing very well this year and semester.  I have never been more pleased, and given some of the national headlines related to Greek Life it’s refreshing to have positive results to report.

October was ultra-special.  A week in London with nephew Arlo.  Our hosts, fraternity brother Mark Porst and his beautiful wife Betsy, put together a perfect schedule for this once in a lifetime trip.  The schedule combined history, the monarchy, shopping, theatre and delicious food.  Betsy should be a tour guide!  More info at my blog, http://toddsalen.blogspot.com/2017/11/londonor-magic-kingdom.html

November has been very low key.  A great time for me to get caught up at work and also enjoy the best of Champaign.  I love all the sports, men’s basketball, women’s basketball and volleyball.  We have excellent teams here.  And we play football too J

Finally I plan to head to NYC to stay with my sister Kristina and her boys for Christmas.  Her new company, United Masters, launched a few weeks ago.  More excitement for her.  After Christmas Guanheng and  I will be bringing Godson Drew and his brother Brandon to Orlando for a few days of fun at the theme parks. 

Thanks to all for a wonderful year.  A few highlights, best gift, (from Brenda) stationary.  Best Movie – Wonder.  Best TV Show – This is Us, (Ozark is good too).  Best Music – I’m Not My Father’s Son from Kinky Boots.  Best Surprise – The Remission and of course chance to see the next Star Wars.  I’m the luckiest man in the world because…..I have an amazing family, incredible friends, great doctors and dedicated fraternity brothers.  Oh, and I have my girl Kelsey as well…woof!  Have a fabulous holiday and remember,

Every DAY Matters!

Much Love, Todd and Kelsey

A Long Time Ago, In a Galaxy Far Far Away.....There were Hurdles

A few times over the past year or two I have written about some of the things you think about when doctors give you "notice."  In my case, the date circled on my calendar was around March or April of this year.  So many things go through your mind, most of them relevant, many of them not.  In my case, as I love to read and especially love to see movies one of the early things that went through my mind was the next Star Wars movie.  You see the release date was December 15, 2018.  About 8 months past my expiration date. 

I don't know why this movie in particular stuck out.  I've seen lots of great stories over the years and while the first episode, 1977 first, is one of my all time favorite movies, I can't say the rest have lived up to that standard.  But Star Wars is for me a sort of measuring stick in my life. I was 20 when the first one was released.  That's a great age for exploration.  Searching the galaxy for storm-troopers seemed like a great adventure.

We all wanted to master the force.  Light sabers were the weapons in favor.  Luke Skywalker's hovercraft had the campus engineers designing cars of the future.  And of course Princess Leah was just waiting to be my queen.  Star Wars has been a part of 2/3rds of my life.  Yoda, Darth Vader, Chewbacca, Hans Solo, and many other characters have been role models in some form or fashion.  And I have stolen many a line from the text.

And so here I am, it's December 15 and Star Wars, The Last Jedi, opened today in our local theaters.  I haven't seen it yet.  I will, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week.  Why no rush?  Reaching this hurdle was important for me.  Crossing it, not so important.  

I need a next hurdle.  Maybe one in December 2020.  Maybe 2025.  I'm not sure.  I'm open to suggestions.  And I won't be trying to reach this next hurdle.  I will make it for sure.

London....or the Magic Kingdom?

Big Ben, Big Todd and Arlo 

So if I said I just got back from a vacation filled with sunshine, palm trees and magical movie studios you would think I was in Orlando or California for a week.  Not true.  I was in London.  Yes, that London.  The one with the Big Ben Clock.  Palm trees?  Fun fact.  (My host Mark Porst loves to throw out fun facts).  Even though London is further north than the most northern part of the continental United States, the temperatures are moderate enough to grow palm trees.  Who knew?

This adventure was long overdue.  My fraternity brother, Mark, and his lovely wife Betsy, invited me to visit.  Mark is about to retire from P&G.  I actually helped him get that job 30 years ago when I worked for the company.  And in 10 days he will retire, (although the official retirement date is February 15, 2018)  He and Betsy have been in England for the past few years.

I couldn't say no to their invitation.  When they invited me to bring someone along I chose my nephew Arlo.  Yes, Super Arlo, the superhero in my family, one and the same.  Off we went then to find Harry Potter.

This trip was the perfect combination of history, monarchy, beauty and theatre.  A totally relaxing visit even though my brain was on overload with all of the history.  A visit to Europe should start in London.  I'll try to summarize all we saw and experienced but it was so much it will be hard.

Day one - The Big Bus Tour

All trips to big cities should start with a big bus tour.  In this case a red double-decker. Our tour guide, Patrick (or maybe it was Richard) explained all of the sites along the route and filled in the blanks for many other London mysteries.  Betsy and Patrick were just about equally knowledgeable of the surroundings.  In fact at one point Betsy was explaining an upcoming monument and Richard looked a bit offended she had stolen his thunder.

Some facts gleaned on these travels.  The Great Fire started on Pudding Lane.  There are only 8000 residents of London proper, no real skyscrapers filled with apartments or offices as you would see in other major cities.  Hyde Park was once King Henry VIII hunting grounds.  There are dragon sculptures at each entry point of London, protecting the city.  Sweeney Todd was a real barber and is estimated to have given "close shaves" to more than 100 travelers.  I stayed away from meat pies during the trip.   Parmesan cheese is kept in bank vaults in Italy.  Those are just a few facts from the week.  There will be more!

The afternoon was spent in the Tower of London.  The Tower has been a castle in wartime, a king's residence in peacetime and and site of executions in Henry VIII time. It is where the crown jewels are stored.  Compare the beauty of the jewels with the horror of the torture chambers and the towers themselves.  I was overwhelmed by how large the complex was.  In fact the green space was a zoo for over 700 years.

Looking back at the Tower of London and the Thames

There was a collection of armor for both humans and horses on the top floor.  Henry VIII's gradually growing armor from a young age to his death helps to understand his "weighty" issues of the monarchy.  And finally an armory of cannons/guns etc.

We then went over to the "walkie talkie", a 35 story tall building nearby with a sky deck, to look down on the complex and also get a birds eye view of the city. London is certainly a beautiful city.

Sunset in downtown London.  Beautiful

In the evening we met up with Mark and went to dinner at the Dog and Fox in Wimbledon Village.  Mark and Betsy live within walking distance of Wimbledon in a charming little village.  I had my fish and chips!  It was marvelous. Oh and don't forget the mushy peas.  Not Arlo's favorite but I liked them!

Fish and Chips!   YES!!

Day Two:  Wimbledon and Harry Potter Studios.

Arlo loves tennis and loves Harry Potter.  This was pretty much a dream day for him.  Standing in Centre Court!  Another fun fact.  Wimbledon replants the grass from seed every year.  Talk about meticulous.  A beautiful stadium, a tennis fan's dream for sure.  There was a virtual tour we experienced.  In it a raven flies in front of each of us and sets on the wall of the stadium.  We were wearing virtual head sets, and when the raven got in front of Arlo he pecked him with his beak.  Actually the tour guide used that moment to just lightly tough Arlo's hand, and thus Arlo thought a real bird had touched him.

Wimbledon Centre Court

I had a crawfish and avocado sandwich for lunch.  This was a first and delicious of course, and then off to the Magical World of Harry Potter.  The studios where the films were shot have been set up for guests to wander through and enjoy.  I chose to take a private tour.  While it was costly, $250 per person, I suggest to all you bite the bullet and follow my lead.  We were treated like studio execs from the moment we boarded the bus at the train station.

A magical day begins. 

Three studio guides were assigned to our small group of 7.   Lara was the our official guide taking us through the studios J and K set by set.  The grand dining hall, Dumbledore's office, the kids bedroom, the streets where they shopped, and the forbidden forest were just some of the sets intact from the filming.  We leisurely walked through the studios, stopping for photos, gaining insights into the behind the scenes production and overall transforming ourselves into Harry's world.  Every minute was precious.  Some fun facts, in one scene where Harry fights the evil lord they made 40 jackets with varying degrees of dirt and tearing of the jackets.  When they opened Harry Potter Studios to the public they thought people would come for a year or two, never thinking it would become an attraction.  The studio guides always speak in terms of "we", as in when "we made the movies..."  Hagrets was not a big man and they had a double who was 6'10.  All of the sets had to be duplicated at 87% size to accommodate the differences in size. Books in Dumbledore's office are covered London Phone books.  Dumbledore's telescope was the most expensive prop, it really works and is barely seen in the movies.  The director wanted all the leads to be unknowns.  The original hair/make-up/costumers come to the studios and do touch ups and cleaning at regular intervals.

The Great Hall at Hogwarts, Harry Potter ate here!

The studio gave us photos, mp3s of Arlo flying a broom, butterbeer and a fine dinner, for me, bangers and mash.  If you are going to London, take this tour.  You won't regret it.

Day Three:  History, Monarchy, Pageantry and Kinky Boots.

When you plan a trip to London it is reassuring to know so many people have had a wonderful experience there.  I have heard before that if you want to explore Europe, start in London.  The city is inviting, historical, and for the most part filled with very gracious people.  Unlike New York or Chicago, London is more relaxed, not so much of shoulder to shoulder push and shove match.  And if you can have two tour guides like Mark and Betsy Porst you won't have a single minute that isn't educational and beautiful.  I'll share about them in a while, but first, to London we go.

Friday started at Buckingham Palace for the changing of the guard.  Every other day there is a formal "shift change".  Soldiers in their full regalia and bear skin black hats.  A marching band leads them from the palace to the quarters down the street.

Changing of the Guard, some serious weapons! 

  

We followed the procession quite a ways and then circled back to enjoy the Park Lake the foliage and animals of Buckingham Palace's surrounding parks.  London is very green thanks to some great foresight.  Again this helps to to make the city more inviting.  

My biggest surprise was our next attraction.  Westminster Abbey is everything people say about it and more.  I was aware that kings and queens were buried there as well as famous Brits though out history.  But I had no idea is was 3000 tombs and the remains 29 kings and queens.  A cemetery under several magnificent roofs.  Look up, down, and all around when you visit.  Royal weddings, funerals and coronations ooze from the walls.  I could spend a day or more here.  

Surprises in terms of burials.  Sir Lawrence Olivier at the feet of the Shakespeare statue.  C.S. Lewis, David Frost, not to mention Charles Darwin, Isaac Newton and Charles Dickens, just to name a few.  Certainly the royal tombs make is crystal clear there is no expense spared when the royal family is buried.  

But the Abbey is far more than that.  Stain glass windows.  The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, the naves and chapels through out.  It's a place to wander and absorb the history of the Monarchy as well as the cultural impact.  

One fun fact, I asked who decides who is buried in the Abbey.  The Queen!

Super Arlo always knows where the phone booths are

We tubed to Covent Garden for the rest of the day.  There we walked through the amazing retail shops both high and low end.  There were street performers spread through out the block.  We stopped for a magician and both Arlo and Betsy became part of the act.  Arlo initialed a 5 LB note and the magician turned it into a 5 Euro note.  By the end of the show Arlo found his original fiver tucked neatly inside a banana held by Betsy.  

Outdoor fair at Covent Gardens

We enjoyed walking through the open air markets looking for gifts for everyone.  We walked through Chinatown, lots of meat in the window ready to serve up for dinner.  But we ate at the Burger and Lobster.  I didn't expect much here and was pleasantly surprised by a one lb lobster.   Finally we walked to the Adelphi Theater for the evening entertainment, Kinky Boots.  

Now you may ask, why would you bring an 11 year old to Kinky Boots?  Because it was a great show.  The title is more revealing than the show.  And truly Arlo is a seasoned Broadway advocate, living in Brooklyn.   The show was wonderful.  This is the story of the Price family who has made men's shoes for three generations north of London.  Superstores have hurt sales of fine shoes and through the course of a street accident Charlie Price meets Lola, a drag queen, and is sold on the idea of making boots for drag queens.  It's a fun story with music by Cindy Lauper.   Arlo recognized he lead, David Hunter, who played Charlie and is in the rock band Reemer.  And once he figured out the Drag Queens were not necessarily gay, he figured out the show.  

Day Four, Government, WWII, and the Phantom.

This day started in the Wimbledon Town Centre at Bill's Restaurant.   I had the best breakfast I have had in years, fresh toasted bread, poached eggs, avocado and bacon.

Avocado, Bacon, Toast and Poached Egg  HMMM Good

Just wonderful!  Arlo had some British pancakes.  One thing about England.  They do not have the endless cup of coffee.  We order "Americano" coffee which is really a lighter cappuccino.  And water is not automatically on the table.  Everywhere we went they would bring out a liter of tap water when we asked, but we had to ask. 

Back on tube, this time to Waterloo Station.  A brisk walk across the Westminster Bridge to Parliament, where we walked by Cromwell and Charles I who stare each other down daily.  As we walk into Parliament I was struck by Westminster Hall.  This grand room has hosted Nelson Mandela, the kings and queens and Barack Obama as well.  This is where Churchill lie in state.  I can imagine the Beatles playing here at some point.  

As we walked through this center of power I was reminded of the importance of tradition.  The Houses of Lords and Commons are distinct.  One does not casually walk into each others space.  The meeting rooms were ornate and incredible.  The Queens robing room, used once a year when she addresses both houses is gold laden.  There are reliefs of King Arthur's court through out.  Interesting the mix of fantasy, King Arthur, and start reality, the government of England.  

After this tour we ventured across the street to the Churchill War Rooms.  Betsy and Mark dropped me at the War Rooms and took Arlo to the playgrounds.  This is where the British planned for WWII.  Under the streets of London, one can only imagine the bombs going off overhead and wondering if the walls would hold. Another must see,  for the most part the rooms have been either recreated, or they were left intact.  In the map room the officers turned off the lights, locked the door and there it sat for 30 years until someone stumbled on it in the 80's.  

The Churchill Museum is in the middle of the complex.  The museum is a wonderful tribute to one of our world's most brilliant leaders.  I spent an hour in the here and could and spent 3 or 4.     I bought the guidebook and audio tour and was glad I did.  I am reminded of what it was to fight a war in a low tech world.  

The map room in the Churchill war rooms

I caught up to the gang after my tour of the war rooms.  Arlo had been with another street performer,  a Houdini style escape artist with a straight jacket.  We went to the top of a tall building for appetizers and drinks alfresco and then headed to Garfunkels (no Simon) for dinner.  Another plate of Fish and Chips for me, and time to head to Her Majesty's Theatre.

High atop the buildings, sunset in London

Tonight's performance, Phantom of the Opera.  Arlo was dazzled.  His comment after, "Uncle Todd, this is so much better than Hamilton."  I love that kid :)   You could not see Phantom in a better place than London.  The stage was incredible.  One note, the beginning of Act 2 opens with a scene on a staircase with the cast singing Masquerade.  On the London stage the staircase stretched from stage right to stage left, down stage to up stage.  It was HUGE!   All I could think of was where could they possibly store this the rest of the show.  The stage manager in me haha.

Day Five:  Hampton, Henry VIII, and a rest-filled evening.

We eased into Sunday.  I went for my morning stroll and picked up coffee for Mark and I.  Betsy and Arlo worked on humanities homework and built a Nano Big Ben Tower.  Mark cooked delicious custom omelettes for us all.  By now Arlo and Betsy have become besties and I'm thinking the departure in the morning will be tearful for both.  The Porsts are the real deal when it comes to families.  Three wonderful kids (thee Phi Psis and two Kappas in the mix) and an attitude about life that inspires.  I have known them literally since the day they met and their friendship only gets stronger and stronger.  Soon Betsy will have grandchildren.  She will be the perfect grandmother as well.  Mark is retiring 7 days from the posting of this blog.

Todd, Mark, Arlo and Betsy on the Thames

FYI  Mark went to work for Procter and Gamble when I worked there.  33 years later he is retiring.  Dedication for sure.  When I started our capital campaign for the rebuilding of the house Mark was the first person to sign on.  He is committed to the right thing and the right wing haha.  It's fascinating to listen to both as they cover many topics in an encyclopedic manner.

We decided to spend a leisurely day in Hampton Court.  Henry VIII lived here and many other monarchs.  It is a huge complex of gardens, lakes,  animal hunting grounds and castles.  Monarch after Monarch added their own touches to the complex.  Each added new apartments, sitting rooms and bedrooms.   The floors are fine hardwood, indicative of the riches found in the Americas and brought back.  Walking through adds to the perception of wealth the monarchs each had.  Fine furniture, gold trim, tapestries all line the walls.  There were huge fire places in each room.  One can only imagine the servants preparing and warming the castle each morning for the residents.

Of course things like holes in the floors for "bathrooms" or chamber pots, and iron bath tubs remind you that things were "different back then."

Arlo at the Hampton Magic Park

While Arlo and Betsy enjoyed the Magic park on the ground, Mark and I strolled though the castle and the ground.  This was one final walk through royalty at its finest.  I could just imagine the King standing on the porch looking out at this open air shrine to opulence.  One final reminder that Britain's roots are far different than the United States.

Our final evening was spent at the Porsts beautiful apartment in Wimbledon.  We watched Beetlejuice, It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and ate some British Chinese food (rather bland but ok).  It was a time to reflect on the week, all we had seen, learned about and shared.  I can't begin to thank Mark and Betsy.  Perfect hosts.  And wonderful friends.

Arlo and his "Bestie" Betsy

My thanks to Alex and Sylvia Ruggieri and Jerry and Christie Ramshaw as well just for letting me go and encouraging me to forget about work for awhile.  I wish everyone could work for people you love and respect.

Finally my thanks to Kristina and Daniel for loaning me their youngest for a week.  To pull him out of school to spend a week with Crazy Uncle Todd is insane.  And I love them for their insanity.  I have been saying "Every DAY Matters" for a while now and certainly each of these days did.  Even waking Arlo up at 5 AM for the place was pleasant haha.  I wouldn't trade this week for the world.

Face to Facial Hair

I spend time wondering about very stupid things.  You know it's a heck of a lot better to be wondering about stupid things than to be doing stupid things.  I say that from many years of experience.  What were those stupid things I have done?  Well many have been written about in this blog.  However, not today my friend.  Today my wonderment has been distracting me and I just need to get it off my chest!

So, the question is, what is the deal with facial hair?  It seems like about 90% of men (and 27% of women) have some sort of growth on their chins.  I'm beginning to think we are back in the pre-revolutionary war era in terms of men's grooming.  Not only are there more men with facial hair, I can't recall when personal grooming meant so little.

I suppose you can attribute this to the success of Duck Dynasty.  If you haven't seen it the Robertson family all have beards that may have never been trimmed.  If not Duck Dynasty you might say the the beards sported by the San Francisco Giants in recent World Series could be the contributing factor.  Maybe it is a little bit of both.  Either way, I'm glad I don't work for Gillette as this must be cutting into sales.  

Ok, that's my gripe for today.  I know it's trivial, but then, it's my gripe and I can be as trivial as I want.