The UI Audubon/Cinnabon Association (UIACA) is planning for a huge introductory event this Monday, April 19, at the spring football game at Memorial Stadium. They are leading the charge to have the Kingfisher approved as our new mascot. The UIACA will be releasing 1000 Kingfishers at game time to fly over the stadium. What a sight this will be! Especially since the game will be broadcast on the B1G Network.
One problem. Apparently, the Kingfisher is a species more susceptible to pooping in flight. There is great fear several of these magnificent birds will relieve themselves, with their "cargo" potentially landing on our new head football coach and his staff. UNACCEPTABLE! Were this to happen the UIACA fears their hopes of the Kingfisher being approved by the Board of Trustees will die (along with several birds who may be shot as a result).
The UIACA needs your help! Their members know there are hundreds of people who heroically made masks during the pandemic. UIACA members are asking you to volunteer to make diapers for the Kingfishers. The club has enlisted the help of brilliant engineers on campus and created a diaper that will hold back these special deliveries.
Can you help? We need 1000 diapers by Monday. Email diapers@kingfisherpride.com today and we will send you a pattern for the diaper. Our club members will come pick them up.
I...L...L I....N....I Go Kingfisher!!
Inasmuch as the Illini program has been shitty for a long time maybe this is appropriate.
ReplyDelete