Fixing the Greek System

I can barely make it through a day anymore without reading about a new problem with the Greek System in our country.  As someone who has devoted many hours in order to make the system better, it hurts me every time I read about another chapter or another student doing something stupid.  To say it just puts our entire system in a bad light is not true. In fact we are in the spotlight now and that spotlight is a glaringly bright focused light which should make each of us committed to making the system better, instead we react and over react like never before.

We earned this scrutiny.  It's easy to make the argument that in this era of "instant news" the media is chasing our story and trying to bury us.  However, this story exists because we, the alumni leaders, the university staffs and the national headquarters,  have failed to change our culture while society has changed around us.  What was "acceptable" 20 years ago is no longer tolerated.  And I'm not sure it would have been acceptable then if the media would have investigated with the intensity they do now.  So how have we earned it?  Let me make a list.

1. Failure to provide adult leadership.
2. Recruiting men and women based on values other than the prescribed values.
3. Not understanding the changes in the leadership experience and training of our college students.
4. Allowing undergrads to not be accountable for their actions.
5. Not creating membership development tools
6. Mandating diversity

Adult Leadership: We evolved over time with strong alumni boards and live in house directors.  In the 70's the house "moms" of the world left fraternities.  Add to that local alumni stopped staying in town after graduation and the last thing alums who lived in town wanted to do was help their chapters.  The end result was a long distance management model with alums meeting with chapters a few times a year on site.  In the worst case scenario alumni boards did not even bother to meet on site.  They were in reality property managing from 100 miles away.

We managed to keep afloat during the 80's, although a combination of a changing campus culture and "instant news" brought issues to the surface.  Then the 90's happened.  Students as a whole seemed to join fraternities for one reason, to party.  Our ideals were left on the front porches.  All this while there was radical change in the insurance world.  Instant news magnified our worst practices and the litigious nature of our culture pointed the target at the Greeks.  We couldn't get insurance.  And without insurance no one was willing to accept the potential personal risks.  Fraternities banded together to "self insure".  With the risk now solely on the national fraternities attention to eliminating risk evolved.  New rules were written.  And with the new rules came resistance to change.  Already secret traditions went further underground.

The "electronic revolution" of the past ten years exposed these secrets to the daylight.  Universities and national fraternities began investigating reports of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual assault with only anonymous emails as evidence.    The era of "substantiated" facts was behind the Greeks and a new direction of chasing rumors emerged.  While many of these rumors were not proven, enough were found to be true.  What was buried deep underground was now very raw and at the surface.

So how could adult leadership have helped bring these things forward sooner?  There are a few reasons.  First, having a house director and active board of directors and/or chapter advisory board would have exposed the issues earlier.  I do believe students will do the right thing when challenged to act responsibly.  However, sometimes they need to be told what the right things are.  Fraternity culture (not exclusive to fraternity by the way as athletics, military and even marching bands have the same issues) has nurtured the "rights of passage" mentality.  These traditions are often perpetuated by the worst members, the members behind in their bills, with the lowest grade point average and often the first to sign up for every "bar crawl."  Adult leadership helps to take away their influence.

Second, I have learned over the years fraternities can be basically broken into 20-60-20 models. Simply said for every 100 man chapter there are 20 leaders, 20 idiots and 60 riding the fence.  In good and great chapters the 20 leaders influence the 60 in the middle.  In bad chapters the 20 idiots lead the 60 down the path of destruction.

Adult leadership and presence boosts the 20 leaders and provides them with the back bone they need to make the right choices more often than not.  Looking at chapters across the country, most of the good and  great chapters have a strong alliance with adult leaders.

Recruiting men and women based on values other than those prescribed.  

Said simply, alcohol has been a major influence in recruitment across the country.  Joining the chapter with the best social calendar is often listed a "reason to join."  And the Greek system has paid the price for that mentality.  I've often "lectured undergrads" complaining about how they can't control drinking in their chapters that "they recruit alcoholics and then wonder why they have a drinking problem."  Young men and women often make one of the most important decisions of their lives under the influence.  I'm sure this is not unique to the Greek system, but it is a sad commentary.  Many campuses have instituted dry recruitment and certainly this is helping.  Fraternities who recruit based on a higher standard have better men and have more success in the long run.  Bold statement I know, but I strongly believe there are enough potential recruits drawn to the system for it's advertised values, things like networking, leadership development, friendship and also a controlled social environment, that you could not only fill the chapters but also turn people away.

We need to go back to the things that got us started in the first place.  Our values are truly worth boasting about.   We just need to live those values everyday.  It may mean throwing people out and even closing chapters, but in the long run we will be healthier.

 Not understanding the changes in the leadership experience and training of our college students.

I often hear about how different students are today.  Well yes, they are different.  The world they grew up in is vastly different than the world I was in.  The internet alone lends to a dramatic shift in entertainment, information exchange and communication with friends and family.  When I was in school my father might call me once a week, and even then it was 7 AM on a Saturday morning when I wasn't "at my best".  Kids today communicate with their parents daily via text, email, skype or even in person.  Parental influence is apparent.  This has a good and bad side.  On the positive side, students have a stronger attachment with their parents and have come to expect them to help them make hard decisions.  On the down side, many of the students are afraid to "go out on their own."

Students today are afraid to take risks.  They have been sheltered their whole lives with parents who don't want them to fail.  Here's a dramatic insight, IT'S OK TO FAIL.  Certainly constant failure won't move you ahead, but an occasional set back it fine.  Haven't we all be taught we learn from our mistakes.  Well it's time for our students to have a set back or two.

In my unprofessional opinion it's not that students don't have dreams and aren't interested in stepping out to achieve them.  It's just that students today are afraid to take the first step towards achieving their dreams  We as mentors and leaders need to help them learn to take the first steps.  It might take some hand holding.  It might lead to a failure.  And it might just be the best learning experience the student has in college.  This again is where a stronger adult presence can help.  Just being there to pick up the pieces for failed attempts and encouraging students to try again will make a remarkable difference in our culture.

These are bright kids who want to succeed.  They just don't necessarily know how to start down the yellow brick roads to reach their dreams.

Allowing undergrads to not be accountable for their actions.

This is where we all have collectively failed in our attempts to move the Greek system forward.  By we I mean adult mentors, university staff, national fraternity staff and the public in general.  We are afraid to confront the undergraduates on tough issues.  You would think everyone involved was running for office, wanting to make friends with everyone and win the popularity contest.  I truly understand the obstacles.  Universities and national fraternities have constituencies they have to deal with.  Greek alumni donate lots of money to important projects.  I get that.  But it's not a good excuse.

I cross paths with alumni who "don't donate" their money or time because they are in part embarrassed by their fraternity experience.  It may be something lingering from their pledge ship or may be something they read in the paper last week,  But their lifelong bond has been severed.  In the course of the past ten years I have drawn the line in the sand with my chapter on the tough issues, hazing, drug abuse and sexual assault.  While there are some men in the chapter who felt their "play toys" were taken away as a result of the changes, in total the alumni base is more committed to the undergraduates today and more important, the undergraduates are stronger and happier to live in fraternity who has left the worst behind.

When the 20 idiots are in charge they must be confronted.  Truth is they may decide to leave the fraternity.  That's not a bad outcome.  With a strong adult base the 20 leaders will find their courage to make certain all are accountable.  But I caution you, 20 more idiots will replace the 20 who leave. It's as natural as the flower blossoming in the spring, although perhaps a better analogy would be wilting in the fall.  Accountability is a full time job as our human nature is to test the boundaries.

Not creating membership development tools

Can you imagine a situation where you would come into a job, receive 6-16 weeks worth of training/education and then be set free for the rest of your life to run the corporation.  Welcome to the world of Greek life.  We carefully (although sometime carelessly) craft an education program specifying when and where our new members need to be and almost a daily list of duties and materials to study.  In a few weeks they become full members of the organization and within a semester or so one will be elected President of the chapter.  Hard to believe I know.

A few national  fraternities have implemented membership development programming. These programs provide continuing education for members in the semesters after initiation.   Brilliant of course.  My own fraternity tried to implement a similar program and failed, largely due the the belief this programming was optional.

Students for the most part won't "opt in" for more work.  Imagine a student going to a professor and saying, "your class is great, but can you just give me a bit more work so I can do better."  It may happen, but certainly not often.  We have clear expectation for our pledges during the fraternity education programming.  We need to have the same accountability for our initiated members.  If you don't complete the programming, you are no longer an undergraduate member.  In every sense, you're an alumnus, you've completed your undergraduate experience, thanks for playing, there are parting gifts at the exit.

It falls on the national fraternities and universities to develop relevant educational modules for membership education.  Continuing education with real life skills, interviewing, resume writing, transitional leadership for example.  You could easily include deeper studies into the ritual and histories of the fraternity for those so inclined to study.  But developing curriculum is the easy part. Holding members accountable for completion is the challenge.  But it's a challenge well worth exploring.

Mandating diversity

When I was in school we said our chapter was diverse.  We defined diversity as members from both the north and south sides of Chicago, with a few down state members thrown in.  Today we are truly a diverse chapter with members in the past 5 years from Brazil, India, South Korea, Mongolia, the Middle East and England. Recognizing the university was changing its enrollment focus to international students the chapter set a goal to reach out to a larger recruiting pool.  It made sense, both from an educational experience and from a financial standpoint.

I often ask students when you graduate what do you expect the workforce to look like.  Will your office workers be all "white suburbanites".  The answer of course is that they expect their offices to be multi-cultural.  Our living/learning environments can create this same experience.  When we set off on this course there were things I never expected to happen.  For example, members often invite other members to visit their homes over breaks travelling to other countries and experiencing the culture first hand.

It won't happen because you hang a rush sign on your front facade.  It happens when you actively reach out to potential members around campus.  Invite them and they will come. After all one of their personal objectives is to learn about the American culture.

Is it worth it?

There are colleges across the country asking this question right now.  I'm confident most if not all have weighed the pros and cons of Greek life.  Is it worth it?  Greek life presents a cultural living learning environment unlike any other in collegiate life.  I often say one of the most important life skills Greek system members learn is compromise.  Our students are growing up in a culture where they more times than not get what they want.  Not many successful businessmen have made it to where they are now without compromise. I'm guessing even Steve Jobs and Bill Gates had to compromise at some time in their lives.

Greek life is the arena for compromise at the collegiate level.  Men and women with strong opinions are challenged to defend their positions and often adjust them to keep the peace.  I don't think you learn this in the dorms and definitely not in an apartment complex.

I also believe that the men in the age range of 18-20 are facing one of if not the toughest periods in their lives.  These men come from the sheltered homes with parental influence and now have to make choices that can affect the rest of their lives.  Drugs, alcohol, and sex are just three of the huge life choices an 18 year old now needs to begin to process. A fraternity operating within it's moral code of conduct can be a supportive partner in these choices.

In addition I go back to the concept of leadership development.  Like it or not these men and women will be leading our nation in the years to come.  Remember I said earlier that students today must be guided into taking the first steps on the path the reaching their dreams and changing their world. Fraternity mentoring will provide that support.

So is it worth it?  I think so. The 20 leaders are waiting for us in chapters across the country.  Waiting for us to sit down and listen to their ideas for change.  Waiting for us to help them hold their members accountable,  Waiting for us help them take the first steps toward reaching their dreams. Waiting for us to help them be who they said they wanted to be on that day they initiated into the fraternity and swore to uphold the values of our founders.  Let's not make them wait any more.

Seeing the "Book of Mormon" through different eyes.

So I went to see Book of Mormon a few weeks ago.  It's the second time I've seen the show and while I can honestly say I enjoyed it the first time, this time I loved it.  There is something about this show, raw as it is, that makes me think that this is what a "Broadway Musical" should be about.  The lyrics are all easy to understand, the choreography is non-stop and the characters, while extreme, are real.  I can relate to Elder Cunningham trying to change the truth to fit the circumstances just as I can relate to Elder Price wanting to do "something incredible" with his life, but on his own terms.  

I took someone with me who is an international student and wondered if I was going to have to explain the show to him as it was presented.  In truth, except for just a few questions, he got it right away.  The humor was easy to understand and fit well into the script.  While I would guess every play-write hopes this will be the case, truth is more fail than succeed.  This student has been easing into understanding live theater.   He has seen probably 10 or so in the year and a half since he has been in the country.  But never has he left the theater trying to remember the songs.  And he has been humming along for the past two weeks.  

The first time I saw the show I left a bit judgmental, in part trying to figure out if the offensiveness of the show outweighed the performance.  This time I too left humming the music and in fact eager to see it again.  Enjoy this show for what it is, a statement that our religions and our faith are for the most part based on writings and stories we rely on others to prove.  Did this change the way I judge my own religion?  Not a bit.  But it truly helped me understand how others can interpret their own beliefs.  

And after all, maybe the Book of Arnold has some merits!  (except for the frog part) 

"Let's go Fly a Kite" and three humans while we are at it.

So in the picture above, Bert, aka, Marc Wilson has his life in my hands.  He is suspended from the rafters by wires and I'm holding the ropes at the other end.  I had to participate in 12 hours of training, lifting up Marc and others over 200 times before our trainer felt comfortable leaving us alone to run the show.  I was in pain, especially my hands and fingers which felt like I had them pulled apart like an ancient English torture chamber.  

Well my hands are slowly recovering.  Oh my, was I over my head when I agreed to serve as a master flyman for CUTC's performance of Mary Poppins.   4 hours a day, 3 days straight of pulling ropes with lives at the other end wore me out!  Finally last night I had a night off and today my hands aren’t in pain.  It’s a great upper body workout, but painful on the hands.  Of course our grip weakens as we age J

The show is going well.  Despite the potential for a total train wreck, we managed to pull it together and put on a great show.  And truthfully the play is better than the movie so the story is more enjoyable to watch. 

I get to the theater at 5:45 and rehearse all 8 of our flys, then I don’t have to be back on stage until 9 PM.  That’s the end of Act 1 when Mary flies away.  The second act I have 6 flys and they happen about 10 minutes apart.  Two hard ones, one with Miss Andrews who is a large woman and has to be pulled straight up into the lights.  The other with Bert during Step in Time when he swings from side to side (about 30 ft) and does front and back flips in the air (see above photo).   The hard part about Bert’s fly is that I have to land him 3 times on stair cases and I have a split second each swing to decide if he is safe and has his feet under him.  Guess wrong, and he breaks a leg.  So far, my guesses have been good J

In the end, this is just another chapter in my book of life experiences.  Nothing dramatic to share except, I know I'm not as young as I think I am!!

Hanging up the stripes

So I think today is a milestone for me.  Way back in 1976 I became a licensed official in the state of Illinois.  Today is the first day I have not been officially registered as an official in the State.  I counted once, I think I was at over 4500 games officiated.  Most of those were intramural, park district or summer camp games.  But over 2000 of those were high school games of some sort.  It's been fun, it's been a great challenge, it has been rewarding, both spiritually and financially, but I think you have to know when it's time to quit, and I know it is now.

I'll be forever thankful to the men and women who mentored me along the way.  I have been fortunate to work the state finals, major tournament championships and exciting regular season games.  I have refereed for men and women who have gone on to successful college and professional careers.  And I have had the pleasure to work for some of the finest men and women coaching on the sidelines as well. I'm thankful I have had these opportunities.  

Best memories, no question, refereeing for Candice Parker was a highlight.  She was certainly the best female athlete to ever play the game in Illinois.  No one could play with her.  I'll never forget the rivalry games either.  St. Joseph and Unity, Central and Centennial, Chrisman and Paris.  All were special games where the fans, players and coaches were involved in every play.

I'll be forever thankful to the men and women I partnered with on court as well.  Referees are a special breed.  Thankless jobs for sure, and the people who don the stripes deserve the respect of all involved in the game.

We are not supposed to play "favorites" however truth be told my favorite place to work has been Uni High in Urbana.  My first varsity game was at Uni.  I was a college senior and Uni played at Huff Gym in those days.  I was as excited as I could be.  For me, this was the state championship.   I couldn't tell you who won, I can't tell you anything about the game, I can just say it was a game I will never forget.  Over the years I've continued to referee at Uni as many times as they have asked me.  For me at least, they represent high school athletics at it's best.  Very few of the kids went on to play in college, although almost every kid went on to successful careers in life.  They always played hard.  The played fair, and they had fun.   They epitomize what sports are about.  So as I look back on my career I'll hold my "favorites" in a special place in my heart.  The coaches, the players and especially the administration, Sally Walker in particular, have always made refereeing at Uni High special.  

Have I missed calls?  Absolutely.  Have I made calls that impacted the outcome of the games?  Hopefully not.  Have I had fun?  No question.  Would I do it again?  In a heartbeat.  

So I'll move to the sideline and become a fan.  And as a fan, I'll have respect for the men and women officiating the games.  I know they work hard to be the best they can.  I know they try to make the right calls.  I know they don't care who wins, but really care about making sure both teams have a chance to win.  I know they love the games.  And hopefully, I know that like me, they are just happy to be involved in the game they love.

Good Friday, a Humbling Day

Easter weekend and Holy Week is always a humbling time.  Last night our church had our Maundy Thursday service.  For those who don't know, Maundy Thursday is a service dedicated to the Last Supper Jesus had with his disciples.  Of course it precedes Good Friday, the day Christ was arrested and put on the cross.

I can't help but wake up on Good Friday and begin thinking about what kind of day it must have been for Christ and his disciples.  I have read about it of course, seen it on television and in movies, but I still can't even begin to appreciate the sacrifice he made for us on this day.  It just humbles me that he would put himself up to this kind of torture so that he could save the rest of us.

Then on the Saturday of Holy Week I often think about the mindset of his disciples and his followers.  Here they were, knowing the man they looked to for spiritual guidance, their messiah, had died and was buried in a tomb.  There must have been a true sense of hopelessness and confusion.  They go from the most life changing experience imaginable, following and listening to Christ, to total despair.

Just when they are probably the most convinced their lives have been wasted, he reappears.  This is a reminder that when life seems the worst you have to know that tomorrow may bring total change.  People were at there lowest low on Saturday, and by Sunday they were at the highest high.

Everybody loves bacon! (but me)

Ok, I'm going to reveal something that may change the way you think of me.  I don't love bacon.  I mean I don't hate it.  But given a choice between a sausage patty and a piece of bacon with my eggs I'll chose the sausage every time.  If it's on a buffet and I don't have a choice, then I'll probably take a piece of bacon or two, but.....when I order off the menu, forget it!

I'm not sure where the popularity for bacon came from in the past 10 years.  Bacon sales have risen in the past year to an all time high and this year sales are up 9.5%.  Is there a correlation between bacon and an improving economy?  I don't know, but I'm sure we could drum up an economist with an opinion.  

I know this for sure, I've seen teens and others be attracted to a plate of bacon like it was the greatest meal ever to be served.   Lobster tails don't get the attention that bacon does.  

My mother wasn't a bacon person either.  I can't remember ever waking up to the smell of sizzling bacon when I was a kid.  I mean my mom cooked with it and included it in other meals she was making, but a plate of bacon at breakfast?  Not likely.

So think what you want of me.  I have a thick skin and can take the abuse.  But for now, I want to go on record as not being included in the EVERYONE, when the commercial says, "Everyone loves bacon."

About Candlesticks, vision, incredible talent and a summer I won't soon forget.

I have spent the best part of this year and especially this summer producing the Champaign Urbana Theater production of Les Miserable's.  It's been a few weeks since we wrapped up the show and I thought I would take some time and share a few of my insights into this experience.  First let me say the primary reason I volunteer for community theater is because of Les Miserables.  About 8 years ago I was in Kathy Murphy's office in EMP insurance buying health insurance.  I had known Kathy for years as her brother Tim is a fraternity brother and when I moved to town I purchased my home and auto insurance from his firm.  

Kathy was one of the founders of the Champaign Urbana Theater Company (CUTC).  I had heard her on a local radio show, "Penny for your Thoughts", where she and the host, Jim Turpin, were discussing the upcoming production of Les Mis.  Jim by the way is one of our community's most vocal advocates of local theater and often features songs and interviews for upcoming productions on his show.  

So back to her office, I mentioned to her I had heard her on Penny, and I was eager to see the show.  One of my friends and mentors, Jill Acheson, had taken me to see Les Mis at the Assembly Hall over 15 years prior and we talked endlessly about this magical music and message.  Kathy commented, "Todd, come help us with the show.  We need people backstage, you can help us move sets."  That set in motion a new volunteer career in theater for me as I have worked on more than 25 shows since then, producing 5 for CUTC and 4 more in the community.  

Producing a show is a project.  Every show starts with a vision.  The director is hired, and then a staff is assembled around him or her.  In community theater each staff is unique.  People need to be recruitted to design and prepare costumes, make-up, props, sets, marketing, music, orchestras, and literally every element of the show itself.  And this doesn't include the need to attract quality actors to perform the shows.  The director casts his vision to the producer, and the producer's job to to make that vision come to life.  Of course the money needed and the time to put things together are two huge obstacles you have to work around.  Especially in this era when sponsorships have thinned out and volunteers are harder to attract.  But you work with a deadline, "Opening night", and everything you do centers around that date.  When it comes together, it's a beautiful piece of art, when it doesn't, well let me say you're just happy there is a "closing night."

This year I had the pleasure of working with director Stephen Fiol as Producer of CUTC's third production of Les Miserables.  Normally when I finish a show I "never want to talk to the director again", however this time I found myself wanting to work on our "next project" right away.  Steve defines brilliant.  Personable is an understatement.  A man with a vision is a good description, however the focus of his vision far exceeds most anyone I have ever worked with before.  And it truly was proven in his adaptation of this show.

We sold out every show but one, the first night.  And we oversold every night after the first.  I suppose I could say that technically we sold out the run as the oversold seats when combined with the regular seats exceeded the capacity.  That is a great problem to have.

Why was this show such a hit?  A combination of many reasons, wonderful costumes, an incredible set, beautiful music in the form of a 21 piece orchestra led by Aaron Kaplan, well chosen props, but mostly, a talented cast more talented than any group of men or women I have ever had the pleasure to work with. We had 3 doctoral students in our lead roles.  Kyle Pollio as Jean Valjean, Timothy Renner as Javert and Bethany Stiles as Fantine.  Our other leads were marvelous as well, Caitlin Dobbs as Cossette, Corbin Knight Dixon as Marius, LaDonna Wilson and Jim Dobbs as the Thenardiers,  Marah Solelo as Eponine, just a name a few.  And truly I should name each of the 53 cast members and more than 100 volunteers as everyone did incredible work on this show.

So suffice it to say this was a fun summer.  At the end of a run the cast often presents a gift to the staff in appreciation of their work.  For this show, the cast gave each of the key staff a candlestick.  These candlesticks were used as props during the show, and each bear a tag with the night the prop was used.  For me, it was the first Saturday, which was the night Jill Acheson's family came.  I had dedicated my work in this production to Jill, so it's very special to me I would have a gift from the show from that night.

And there couldn't have been a more special memento for me than the candlestick.  For those that know the story, you'll remember early in the show Valjean steals silver from the Bishop he is staying with. When the police capture Valjean and bring him back to the Bishop, this man of God not only "lies" to the police, telling them he gave Valjean the silver, but he says, "you forgot the best pieces, the candlesticks."  This act of grace plants the seeds in Valjean of forgiveness and love and serve as the foundation from which the rest of the story is based.  Everyone deserves a second chance.  And in this second life, Valjean becomes a man filled with love and compassion for all he meets.  Even Javert who's mission in life is to arrest Valjean, is forgiven.

So this chapter in my life is now closed.  I have made many new friends and in the process helped some very talented people create beautiful art.  Some local critics said this was the best community theater production in more than 30 years.  Others said it was by far the best CUTC production.  I can't speak to that, I can only speak my own conclusion, and that is this was a magical summer, one that I won't soon forget.  And each time I see my candlestick I'll fondly remember the incredible talent I was inspired by every day.