Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Doing some heavy lifting for God

Going where God calls us

This year was the eighth time I have joined our mission trip team from my church, Savoy United Methodist Church.  Over those years I have joined our group on trips to Mexico, New Orleans, Carbondale, IL and the Denver area.  Each trip was rewarding.  More important, each trip challenged my faith, opened my eyes to others struggling in their faith journeys, and allowed me to connect with both our youth and adults participating in the trip.  I would not trade those weeks for anything.  One of the things that makes our trip unique is that we travel with another church.  Prior to this year we paired with the Wesley United Methodist Church in Macomb IL.  A friendship started about 40 years ago between two of our adult leaders led us to serving jointly.  This year we added a third church, Pekin United Methodist Church.  One of these two men is a Pastor and he was reassigned to Pekin last year, thus opening the door for adding the third church.

Pictured above is truly the Body of Christ at work.  Men from three different churches helping to protect a woman's land that was destroyed in a fire.  In fact 14,000 acres burned in the Black Forest, displacing over 500 families.  This property was owned by an older woman, Marie.  Over the course of a few days we cleared the land of brunt trees, filled a dumpster with melted steel from the fire, fixed the stables where 5 horses once roamed, however two were killed due to the fire, and built a shed for some of her possessions not damaged in the fire.

Marie and her husband owned many acres in the beautiful foothills of the Rockies.  They lived on a pine tree lined ranch just to the east of Colorado Springs.  One night in June 2014 a fire started a few miles from her house.  Probably started by campers who didn't wash out dinner coals, this fire spread over 14,000 acres, the worst fire in Colorado history.  Marie and her husband didn't have time to gather mementos, or really anything of value except for loading their horses into their trailer.  They drove several miles away from the fire and spent the night in their car, cold and concerned.  Over the next few days they moved from shelter to shelter.  Two of the horses died from the smoke.

Now nearly two years later, Marie was faced with an impossible obstacle.  The insurance company still had not settled her claim for the damages.  The county sent her a letter that if she did not clean up her land they would begin fining her and her husband.  With little money to do the work, she reached out to a friend who was an organizer in the Black Forest Clean Up operation.  Nancy was her name.  Nancy reached out to UMCOR, the United Methodist Relief organization with an office based in Denver.

The next day UMCOR called me and asked if our group would be willing to "change assignments" and go to work in the Black Forest.  I told them we would go wherever God called.  This being only 2 days before we were scheduled to arrive in Denver.  Said another way, a week before we arrived Nancy called UMCOR to see if there was a group of volunteers who could help and we were there to fill the need.

Our group of burly men went to rescue Marie.  Walking on a walker, this frail woman commanded the strength of a lion.  She mobilized us one way and another.  In two days the land was remarkably better.  But as in most mission trip work, it wasn't the work, but indeed the relationship built with Marie that was special.

Over lunch she told her story of the struggles she had faced in the past year.  She openly discussed the faith challenges she had. losing everything, praying to God for help, realizing he responded on his time and then finally when the threat of losing it all was real, had her prayers answered.  She touched each of our hearts, helping us all to understand that God had indeed sent us all to warm her heart and at least partially help to put a piece of her life back together.

We all walked away with this thought though.  God has a plan for each of us.  With patience we can understand his plan.  And if we let u\him lead us, no matter where we are,  he will reveal that plan.  



It's a phone call you are overly anxious to get and yet don't want to answer the phone when it comes. Some of life's greatest challenges fall into that category.  None more so than the call that tells you once and for all the medical problems you have been experiencing the past 5 months is Cancer.  It's not some obscure tape worm.  It's not food poisoning.  It's not gall stones.  And it's not just getting old and not being able to eat the things you like.  It's the big C.  Cancer.  A six letter word that is scarier than any other in the English language.

Let me give you some background.  In October I was just having a normal day hosting an open house for one of my clients.  I sell real estate in my day job.  I was feeling ok, but a bit bloated.  Near the end of the open house I felt like I might vomit.  About an hour later I did.  Chalk it up to eating something bad or spoiled I thought.  Nothing to be worried about.  Then about a week later it happened again.  Lingering flu?  Not sure, but I felt pretty good after I vomited so no worries.

About 4 more occurrences made me think this may be something to talk with my doctor about.  I did. He thought it might be food poisoning.  He gave me some meds and off I went to heal.  This seemed to help for a week or so and then it came back.  This time more aggressive and now add diarrhea to the mix for things bothering me.

I went back to the doctor and he changed my meds.  This helped, but didn't end the problems.  The doctor called for more tests.  A CT scan, more blood tests, ultra-sound, nothing came up with the solution.

The holidays were brutal.  I went east to visit Washington DC and my sister in NYC.  The trip was wonderful, however my stomach didn't want to be there.  Nightly vomiting and diarrhea helped me realize I had a serious problem.  Here I was 15 hours from home by car and all I could think about was getting back to my bed.

I got back home and went to see the doctor immediately.  He referred me to a specialist in gastro intestinal medicine.  An endoscope discovered a mass in my intestines.   Biopsies of the mass determined it was Cancer.  And as I write this entry I'm two days from meeting with the surgeon who will tell me the seriousness of that Cancer.

Dealing with the initial shock

I was in a meeting when I got the call.  I heard the news from the doctor that he suspected I had Cancer,  then walked back into the conference room for the meeting having an out of body experience.  I knew people were there talking but what did I just hear.  Oh my.  I had to tell a few close friends and family.  First a text to my sister.  Test result...Cancer.  Call when you can.  She too was in meetings and a short while later she called.  Nothing is harder.  Tears, confusion, a feeling of hopelessness at first.  Then encouraging words from my sister.  "We will fight it, I'll be with you every step of the way..."

I heard this again and again as I told people.  We will fight this.  I'm with you.  You don't even begin to appreciate how lucky you are to have such loyal friends and family members until you face something like this.  Cancer unifies like little other.  Maybe because we all know someone who fought and won and fought and lost this battle.  It's personal.

We didn't know much.  It was Cancer, but no insights into the severity of it or what stage it might be in.  That information was to come with a meeting with a specialist.  With that in mind, we decided not to tell many people.  There were lots of questions to be answered, and my friends and family would wear me out asking them.  So we decided to keep a tight lid on this until we knew more.  Next step, meet with the specialist.

Meeting with the Cancer specialist.

Dr. Magesh Sundaram.  That is who my meeting was with.  A man who certainly was not in a hurry to "get to the point."  We meet in his office in the Carle Breast Cancer Center.  He tells me he is in charge of the Cancer center, certainly reassuring.  For the next hour and a half I get a biology lesson on the digestive system.  "The stomach empties the food into the small intestines where the fluids from the pancreas and liver complete the digestive process."

Now he turns on the video monitor and shows me slides from the CT scan from a few weeks ago along with the video from the endoscopy last week.  Bottom line there is a tumor in the intestines just outside my stomach.  The doctor who did the endoscopy biopsied the tumor along with the glands just outside the lining of the intestines.  The tumor is cancerous, however the glands are not. This leads the doctor to speculate the cancer has not spread beyond the tumor.  With that said, he says it is Stage 2 cancer.  I ask him, "Doctor, one thing you are not saying is 'Get your affairs in order', does that mean you think you can get it all?"  He says yes, we can beat this.

After two hours of meeting we have a game plan.  I'll come in for surgery February 4, (originally the 11th, but he moved it up a week the next day).  Surgery will be 6 to 7 hours.  I'll be in the hospital for 7-10 days and then recovering at home for up to four weeks. Little did I know how many times I would be repeating this to friends and family in the next week.  I could have printed business cards and handed them out ... surgery, recovery, .... etc etc.  What I know first and foremost though, this is in God's hands.  He has a plan.  However this turns out, it will be his will.

Letting the world know

Who do you tell?  When do you tell them?  Who needs to know what?  These are the hardest questions.  I learn quickly one of the biggest problems telling people is that each time you talk about it you burn energy and emotion.  Cancer is scary.  We all know that.  And the natural reaction is that you are going to die.  Truth is we are all going to die.  I could be hit by a car today and be gone tomorrow.  Somehow when you tell folks you have Cancer it seems more immediate.  Of course family is a priority.  And closest friends as well.  But then I begin to think about the different groups that I'm involved with; Rotary, Fraternity, Doggie Play Group, Church, Theater, Work etc etc.

I start making a list, calling relatives, friends and others.  The hardest are my younger relatives.  My Godson, nephews, nieces, etc.  They ask hard questions.  Two want to drop out of school and come take care of me.  I assure them, I'm ok, and they should finish school.  And some of the kids I have mentored in the area are tough to talk to.  Again they don't begin to understand the differences in stages of Cancer.  They just know it kills.  I assure them, we are going to win this fight.

Just when I think "everyone knows" I remember I forgot to tell this person or that person.  I truly am ready to be done explaining and move on to the next stage.  It just takes a lot of energy to explain. Part of my duty in explaining is telling the facts,  But part is also reassuring them I'll be ok.  Different people react in different ways.  I find "Cancer survivors" are optimists.  On the other hand folks with horrific experiences immediately go the the worst scenario.  I need to help each feel my optimism.

I am amazed though at how people react and respond.  A few friends organize a meal train to make sure my sister, my Chinese student and I are fed during the month.  Others make plans to take care of my dog while I'm in the hospital.  And others plan a network to come sit with me and watch out for me.  I have incredible friends and family.  I truly thank God for them all.

One of my fraternity brothers sent a note out to a few hundred brothers.  The texts, calls and letters warmed my heart.  People I haven't seen in years reach out just to say hi and tell me they are praying for me.  This happens with my fraternity brothers, and other friends as well.  I have an entirely new appreciation for the power of prayer and church prayer lists.  It's humbling to think about the hundreds of people who are praying for me who I have never met.

Next steps

Tomorrow as I write this section I have a Pet Scan, which should determine if the Cancer has spread along with a pre-op physical to make sure I"m healthy enough for the procedure.  Then next week a meeting with the Doctor to review theses tests.  Surgery is scheduled for February 4.
I'll fill this in more as I'm able.

Update 1/29/16

Talk about getting the wind knocked out of you.  The doctor called today to say the Pet scan showed the cancer has spread to my liver.  Although he didn't tell me how much it has spread or what the treatment is.  We meet on Tuesday for the update.  My family has not had good luck with liver cancer.  So when we hear those two words together we cringe.  Also there is another poll-up on my colon so that means I need to go in for another colonoscopy before the major surgery to get it removed.

I'm not thrilled by this news, an already busy week is even busier now.  But I can't control what I can't control  The worst part is I was really starting to think we were going to have this surgery and put this behind us.  I am not so lucky.

2/1/16
The cavalry has arrived   My sisters from NYC and Chicago showed up today to take charge.  And I"m blessed they are here.  I'm not sure what I would do it I didn't have help.  I had several talks this weekend with friends who are doctors and friends who have faced Cancer.  The theme, take it one day at a time.  Don't anticipate the worst, plan for the best.  Good advice.

Sunday was a teared filled goodbye at church.  So many wonderful people who care. Trust me, I"m not saint.  But I am blessed to have a church family who come together in times of need.  God led me to Savoy Methodist Church and I'm glad he did.

Only 3 more solid meals.  Then I will be drinking Steak and Shake shakes for a month!  I wish.  I imagine it will be some sort of feeding tube that by passes by stomach.  I'll imagine I'm eating fine dining.  Let's go with that :)

Only one more full day of work as well.  And of course, that meeting with the doctor in the morning. One day at a time.  Ok, I get it.

Today was an ok day.  I don't feel great, I'm sure part of that is nerves and acid in my stomach.  Ok, enough for one day.  I'll try to update tomorrow.

2/2/16
Today will be the day I never forget.  The Cancer has spread.  Plan A, to remove the tumor is now off the table.  Plan B, creating a bypass in my intestines, eat more regularly and get stronger is now on the table.  I'll get healthy from this procedure and then tackle the newest enemy, Liver Cancer.

It's not good news.  Untreated the doctor says I have 3 months.  With treatment, chemotherapy, etc, he thinks we can prolong it to 18 months.  Either way, have a target of "500 of so" days to live it not what I call a positive outcome.

So now we fight.  This now is the time for us to research alternative medicine, specialists, etc.  Suggestions are welcome.  The thought goes through my mind, if there are only 18 months left, how should I spend that time.  Something to ponder the next few days.

Good news is I won't be in the hospital as long, only about 5 days, and the home recovery will be shortened, maybe two weeks.
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One day at a time....

Yesterday was chemo session #4.  It's amazing how simple it is.  Go in, get comfortable, and they plug you in and fill you with meds.  Before you know it you are back home.   I always bring a movie and yesterday was "Oklahoma".   The movie starts with "Oh what a beautiful morning"    That was really true.  Lab tests came back with even better results than two weeks ago.  My scores are nearly normal for cancer detection and nutrition.  All indicating the chemo is working and the surgery designed to help me eat/retain vitamins, is all good. 
The past two weeks have been fun.  I saw two musicals, Fiddler on the Rood with one of my former actors Timothy Purnell at Uni High in town and then A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum with two more of my favorite actors, Ryan Gossett and Alec Campbell and all time favorite director Suzanne Aldridge at Centennial High School.  Both shows were wonderful.  I'm producing Oklahoma this summer and hope all will audition and be in the show. 
No real issues with side effects.  And I started lifting weights again,  That's a milestone for sure.
I overbooked this weekend, working on a Habitat project with guys from my fraternity Saturday and then facilitating an I-Program for the UI Leadership Center on Sunday.  Sunday after chemo is normally my "bad day" so hopefully I won't feel too tired.   Oh well, bad planning on my part but I know it will be energizing.  So hopefully it all balances out.
Many thanks to Jean Huddleston and Linda Finfrock for bringing meals this week.  It's so helpful to have meals on chemo weeks as it's really hard for me to cook the day of and the next few days after chemo.  My appetite is good but the smells really get to me.  
My love to all who are supporting and praying for me!   We are making progress.  










Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Fixing the Greek System


I can barely make it through a day anymore without reading about a new problem with the Greek System in our country.  As someone who has devoted many hours in order to make the system better, it hurts me every time I read about another chapter or another student doing something stupid.  To say it just puts our entire system in a bad light is not true. In fact we are in the spotlight now and that spotlight is a glaringly bright focused light which should make each of us committed to making the system better, instead we react and over react like never before.

We earned this scrutiny.  It's easy to make the argument that in this era of "instant news" the media is chasing our story and trying to bury us.  However, this story exists because we, the alumni leaders, the university staffs and the national headquarters,  have failed to change our culture while society has changed around us.  What was "acceptable" 20 years ago is no longer tolerated.  And I'm not sure it would have been acceptable then if the media would have investigated with the intensity they do now.  So how have we earned it?  Let me make a list.

1. Failure to provide adult leadership.
2. Recruiting men and women based on values other than the prescribed values.
3. Not understanding the changes in the leadership experience and training of our college students.
4. Allowing undergrads to not be accountable for their actions.
5. Not creating membership development tools
6. Mandating diversity

Adult Leadership: We evolved over time with strong alumni boards and live in house directors.  In the 70's the house "moms" of the world left fraternities.  Add to that local alumni stopped staying in town after graduation and the last thing alums who lived in town wanted to do was help their chapters.  The end result was a long distance management model with alums meeting with chapters a few times a year on site.  In the worst case scenario alumni boards did not even bother to meet on site.  They were in reality property managing from 100 miles away.

We managed to keep afloat during the 80's, although a combination of a changing campus culture and "instant news" brought issues to the surface.  Then the 90's happened.  Students as a whole seemed to join fraternities for one reason, to party.  Our ideals were left on the front porches.  All this while there was radical change in the insurance world.  Instant news magnified our worst practices and the litigious nature of our culture pointed the target at the Greeks.  We couldn't get insurance.  And without insurance no one was willing to accept the potential personal risks.  Fraternities banded together to "self insure".  With the risk now solely on the national fraternities attention to eliminating risk evolved.  New rules were written.  And with the new rules came resistance to change.  Already secret traditions went further underground.

The "electronic revolution" of the past ten years exposed these secrets to the daylight.  Universities and national fraternities began investigating reports of hazing, alcohol abuse and sexual assault with only anonymous emails as evidence.    The era of "substantiated" facts was behind the Greeks and a new direction of chasing rumors emerged.  While many of these rumors were not proven, enough were found to be true.  What was buried deep underground was now very raw and at the surface.

So how could adult leadership have helped bring these things forward sooner?  There are a few reasons.  First, having a house director and active board of directors and/or chapter advisory board would have exposed the issues earlier.  I do believe students will do the right thing when challenged to act responsibly.  However, sometimes they need to be told what the right things are.  Fraternity culture (not exclusive to fraternity by the way as athletics, military and even marching bands have the same issues) has nurtured the "rights of passage" mentality.  These traditions are often perpetuated by the worst members, the members behind in their bills, with the lowest grade point average and often the first to sign up for every "bar crawl."  Adult leadership helps to take away their influence.

Second, I have learned over the years fraternities can be basically broken into 20-60-20 models. Simply said for every 100 man chapter there are 20 leaders, 20 idiots and 60 riding the fence.  In good and great chapters the 20 leaders influence the 60 in the middle.  In bad chapters the 20 idiots lead the 60 down the path of destruction.

Adult leadership and presence boosts the 20 leaders and provides them with the back bone they need to make the right choices more often than not.  Looking at chapters across the country, most of the good and  great chapters have a strong alliance with adult leaders.

Recruiting men and women based on values other than those prescribed.  

Said simply, alcohol has been a major influence in recruitment across the country.  Joining the chapter with the best social calendar is often listed a "reason to join."  And the Greek system has paid the price for that mentality.  I've often "lectured undergrads" complaining about how they can't control drinking in their chapters that "they recruit alcoholics and then wonder why they have a drinking problem."  Young men and women often make one of the most important decisions of their lives under the influence.  I'm sure this is not unique to the Greek system, but it is a sad commentary.  Many campuses have instituted dry recruitment and certainly this is helping.  Fraternities who recruit based on a higher standard have better men and have more success in the long run.  Bold statement I know, but I strongly believe there are enough potential recruits drawn to the system for it's advertised values, things like networking, leadership development, friendship and also a controlled social environment, that you could not only fill the chapters but also turn people away.

We need to go back to the things that got us started in the first place.  Our values are truly worth boasting about.   We just need to live those values everyday.  It may mean throwing people out and even closing chapters, but in the long run we will be healthier.

 Not understanding the changes in the leadership experience and training of our college students.

I often hear about how different students are today.  Well yes, they are different.  The world they grew up in is vastly different than the world I was in.  The internet alone lends to a dramatic shift in entertainment, information exchange and communication with friends and family.  When I was in school my father might call me once a week, and even then it was 7 AM on a Saturday morning when I wasn't "at my best".  Kids today communicate with their parents daily via text, email, skype or even in person.  Parental influence is apparent.  This has a good and bad side.  On the positive side, students have a stronger attachment with their parents and have come to expect them to help them make hard decisions.  On the down side, many of the students are afraid to "go out on their own."

Students today are afraid to take risks.  They have been sheltered their whole lives with parents who don't want them to fail.  Here's a dramatic insight, IT'S OK TO FAIL.  Certainly constant failure won't move you ahead, but an occasional set back it fine.  Haven't we all be taught we learn from our mistakes.  Well it's time for our students to have a set back or two.

In my unprofessional opinion it's not that students don't have dreams and aren't interested in stepping out to achieve them.  It's just that students today are afraid to take the first step towards achieving their dreams  We as mentors and leaders need to help them learn to take the first steps.  It might take some hand holding.  It might lead to a failure.  And it might just be the best learning experience the student has in college.  This again is where a stronger adult presence can help.  Just being there to pick up the pieces for failed attempts and encouraging students to try again will make a remarkable difference in our culture.

These are bright kids who want to succeed.  They just don't necessarily know how to start down the yellow brick roads to reach their dreams.

Allowing undergrads to not be accountable for their actions.

This is where we all have collectively failed in our attempts to move the Greek system forward.  By we I mean adult mentors, university staff, national fraternity staff and the public in general.  We are afraid to confront the undergraduates on tough issues.  You would think everyone involved was running for office, wanting to make friends with everyone and win the popularity contest.  I truly understand the obstacles.  Universities and national fraternities have constituencies they have to deal with.  Greek alumni donate lots of money to important projects.  I get that.  But it's not a good excuse.

I cross paths with alumni who "don't donate" their money or time because they are in part embarrassed by their fraternity experience.  It may be something lingering from their pledge ship or may be something they read in the paper last week,  But their lifelong bond has been severed.  In the course of the past ten years I have drawn the line in the sand with my chapter on the tough issues, hazing, drug abuse and sexual assault.  While there are some men in the chapter who felt their "play toys" were taken away as a result of the changes, in total the alumni base is more committed to the undergraduates today and more important, the undergraduates are stronger and happier to live in fraternity who has left the worst behind.

When the 20 idiots are in charge they must be confronted.  Truth is they may decide to leave the fraternity.  That's not a bad outcome.  With a strong adult base the 20 leaders will find their courage to make certain all are accountable.  But I caution you, 20 more idiots will replace the 20 who leave. It's as natural as the flower blossoming in the spring, although perhaps a better analogy would be wilting in the fall.  Accountability is a full time job as our human nature is to test the boundaries.

Not creating membership development tools

Can you imagine a situation where you would come into a job, receive 6-16 weeks worth of training/education and then be set free for the rest of your life to run the corporation.  Welcome to the world of Greek life.  We carefully (although sometime carelessly) craft an education program specifying when and where our new members need to be and almost a daily list of duties and materials to study.  In a few weeks they become full members of the organization and within a semester or so one will be elected President of the chapter.  Hard to believe I know.

A few national  fraternities have implemented membership development programming. These programs provide continuing education for members in the semesters after initiation.   Brilliant of course.  My own fraternity tried to implement a similar program and failed, largely due the the belief this programming was optional.

Students for the most part won't "opt in" for more work.  Imagine a student going to a professor and saying, "your class is great, but can you just give me a bit more work so I can do better."  It may happen, but certainly not often.  We have clear expectation for our pledges during the fraternity education programming.  We need to have the same accountability for our initiated members.  If you don't complete the programming, you are no longer an undergraduate member.  In every sense, you're an alumnus, you've completed your undergraduate experience, thanks for playing, there are parting gifts at the exit.

It falls on the national fraternities and universities to develop relevant educational modules for membership education.  Continuing education with real life skills, interviewing, resume writing, transitional leadership for example.  You could easily include deeper studies into the ritual and histories of the fraternity for those so inclined to study.  But developing curriculum is the easy part. Holding members accountable for completion is the challenge.  But it's a challenge well worth exploring.

Mandating diversity

When I was in school we said our chapter was diverse.  We defined diversity as members from both the north and south sides of Chicago, with a few down state members thrown in.  Today we are truly a diverse chapter with members in the past 5 years from Brazil, India, South Korea, Mongolia, the Middle East and England. Recognizing the university was changing its enrollment focus to international students the chapter set a goal to reach out to a larger recruiting pool.  It made sense, both from an educational experience and from a financial standpoint.

I often ask students when you graduate what do you expect the workforce to look like.  Will your office workers be all "white suburbanites".  The answer of course is that they expect their offices to be multi-cultural.  Our living/learning environments can create this same experience.  When we set off on this course there were things I never expected to happen.  For example, members often invite other members to visit their homes over breaks travelling to other countries and experiencing the culture first hand.

It won't happen because you hang a rush sign on your front facade.  It happens when you actively reach out to potential members around campus.  Invite them and they will come. After all one of their personal objectives is to learn about the American culture.

Is it worth it?

There are colleges across the country asking this question right now.  I'm confident most if not all have weighed the pros and cons of Greek life.  Is it worth it?  Greek life presents a cultural living learning environment unlike any other in collegiate life.  I often say one of the most important life skills Greek system members learn is compromise.  Our students are growing up in a culture where they more times than not get what they want.  Not many successful businessmen have made it to where they are now without compromise. I'm guessing even Steve Jobs and Bill Gates had to compromise at some time in their lives.

Greek life is the arena for compromise at the collegiate level.  Men and women with strong opinions are challenged to defend their positions and often adjust them to keep the peace.  I don't think you learn this in the dorms and definitely not in an apartment complex.

I also believe that the men in the age range of 18-20 are facing one of if not the toughest periods in their lives.  These men come from the sheltered homes with parental influence and now have to make choices that can affect the rest of their lives.  Drugs, alcohol, and sex are just three of the huge life choices an 18 year old now needs to begin to process. A fraternity operating within it's moral code of conduct can be a supportive partner in these choices.

In addition I go back to the concept of leadership development.  Like it or not these men and women will be leading our nation in the years to come.  Remember I said earlier that students today must be guided into taking the first steps on the path the reaching their dreams and changing their world. Fraternity mentoring will provide that support.

So is it worth it?  I think so. The 20 leaders are waiting for us in chapters across the country.  Waiting for us to sit down and listen to their ideas for change.  Waiting for us to help them hold their members accountable,  Waiting for us help them take the first steps toward reaching their dreams. Waiting for us to help them be who they said they wanted to be on that day they initiated into the fraternity and swore to uphold the values of our founders.  Let's not make them wait any more.





Monday, March 30, 2015

Seeing the "Book of Mormon" through different eyes.

So I went to see Book of Mormon a few weeks ago.  It's the second time I've seen the show and while I can honestly say I enjoyed it the first time, this time I loved it.  There is something about this show, raw as it is, that makes me think that this is what a "Broadway Musical" should be about.  The lyrics are all easy to understand, the choreography is non-stop and the characters, while extreme, are real.  I can relate to Elder Cunningham trying to change the truth to fit the circumstances just as I can relate to Elder Price wanting to do "something incredible" with his life, but on his own terms.  

I took someone with me who is an international student and wondered if I was going to have to explain the show to him as it was presented.  In truth, except for just a few questions, he got it right away.  The humor was easy to understand and fit well into the script.  While I would guess every play-write hopes this will be the case, truth is more fail than succeed.  This student has been easing into understanding live theater.   He has seen probably 10 or so in the year and a half since he has been in the country.  But never has he left the theater trying to remember the songs.  And he has been humming along for the past two weeks.  

The first time I saw the show I left a bit judgmental, in part trying to figure out if the offensiveness of the show outweighed the performance.  This time I too left humming the music and in fact eager to see it again.  Enjoy this show for what it is, a statement that our religions and our faith are for the most part based on writings and stories we rely on others to prove.  Did this change the way I judge my own religion?  Not a bit.  But it truly helped me understand how others can interpret their own beliefs.  

And after all, maybe the Book of Arnold has some merits!  (except for the frog part) 

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

"Let's go Fly a Kite" and three humans while we are at it.




So in the picture above, Bert, aka, Marc Wilson has his life in my hands.  He is suspended from the rafters by wires and I'm holding the ropes at the other end.  I had to participate in 12 hours of training, lifting up Marc and others over 200 times before our trainer felt comfortable leaving us alone to run the show.  I was in pain, especially my hands and fingers which felt like I had them pulled apart like an ancient English torture chamber.  

Well my hands are slowly recovering.  Oh my, was I over my head when I agreed to serve as a master flyman for CUTC's performance of Mary Poppins.   4 hours a day, 3 days straight of pulling ropes with lives at the other end wore me out!  Finally last night I had a night off and today my hands aren’t in pain.  It’s a great upper body workout, but painful on the hands.  Of course our grip weakens as we age J

The show is going well.  Despite the potential for a total train wreck, we managed to pull it together and put on a great show.  And truthfully the play is better than the movie so the story is more enjoyable to watch. 

I get to the theater at 5:45 and rehearse all 8 of our flys, then I don’t have to be back on stage until 9 PM.  That’s the end of Act 1 when Mary flies away.  The second act I have 6 flys and they happen about 10 minutes apart.  Two hard ones, one with Miss Andrews who is a large woman and has to be pulled straight up into the lights.  The other with Bert during Step in Time when he swings from side to side (about 30 ft) and does front and back flips in the air (see above photo).   The hard part about Bert’s fly is that I have to land him 3 times on stair cases and I have a split second each swing to decide if he is safe and has his feet under him.  Guess wrong, and he breaks a leg.  So far, my guesses have been good J

In the end, this is just another chapter in my book of life experiences.  Nothing dramatic to share except, I know I'm not as young as I think I am!!


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Hanging up the stripes


So I think today is a milestone for me.  Way back in 1976 I became a licensed official in the state of Illinois.  Today is the first day I have not been officially registered as an official in the State.  I counted once, I think I was at over 4500 games officiated.  Most of those were intramural, park district or summer camp games.  But over 2000 of those were high school games of some sort.  It's been fun, it's been a great challenge, it has been rewarding, both spiritually and financially, but I think you have to know when it's time to quit, and I know it is now.

I'll be forever thankful to the men and women who mentored me along the way.  I have been fortunate to work the state finals, major tournament championships and exciting regular season games.  I have refereed for men and women who have gone on to successful college and professional careers.  And I have had the pleasure to work for some of the finest men and women coaching on the sidelines as well. I'm thankful I have had these opportunities.  

Best memories, no question, refereeing for Candice Parker was a highlight.  She was certainly the best female athlete to ever play the game in Illinois.  No one could play with her.  I'll never forget the rivalry games either.  St. Joseph and Unity, Central and Centennial, Chrisman and Paris.  All were special games where the fans, players and coaches were involved in every play.

I'll be forever thankful to the men and women I partnered with on court as well.  Referees are a special breed.  Thankless jobs for sure, and the people who don the stripes deserve the respect of all involved in the game.

We are not supposed to play "favorites" however truth be told my favorite place to work has been Uni High in Urbana.  My first varsity game was at Uni.  I was a college senior and Uni played at Huff Gym in those days.  I was as excited as I could be.  For me, this was the state championship.   I couldn't tell you who won, I can't tell you anything about the game, I can just say it was a game I will never forget.  Over the years I've continued to referee at Uni as many times as they have asked me.  For me at least, they represent high school athletics at it's best.  Very few of the kids went on to play in college, although almost every kid went on to successful careers in life.  They always played hard.  The played fair, and they had fun.   They epitomize what sports are about.  So as I look back on my career I'll hold my "favorites" in a special place in my heart.  The coaches, the players and especially the administration, Sally Walker in particular, have always made refereeing at Uni High special.  

Have I missed calls?  Absolutely.  Have I made calls that impacted the outcome of the games?  Hopefully not.  Have I had fun?  No question.  Would I do it again?  In a heartbeat.  

So I'll move to the sideline and become a fan.  And as a fan, I'll have respect for the men and women officiating the games.  I know they work hard to be the best they can.  I know they try to make the right calls.  I know they don't care who wins, but really care about making sure both teams have a chance to win.  I know they love the games.  And hopefully, I know that like me, they are just happy to be involved in the game they love.



Friday, April 18, 2014

Good Friday, a Humbling Day

Easter weekend and Holy Week is always a humbling time.  Last night our church had our Maundy Thursday service.  For those who don't know, Maundy Thursday is a service dedicated to the Last Supper Jesus had with his disciples.  Of course it precedes Good Friday, the day Christ was arrested and put on the cross.

I can't help but wake up on Good Friday and begin thinking about what kind of day it must have been for Christ and his disciples.  I have read about it of course, seen it on television and in movies, but I still can't even begin to appreciate the sacrifice he made for us on this day.  It just humbles me that he would put himself up to this kind of torture so that he could save the rest of us.

Then on the Saturday of Holy Week I often think about the mindset of his disciples and his followers.  Here they were, knowing the man they looked to for spiritual guidance, their messiah, had died and was buried in a tomb.  There must have been a true sense of hopelessness and confusion.  They go from the most life changing experience imaginable, following and listening to Christ, to total despair.

Just when they are probably the most convinced their lives have been wasted, he reappears.  This is a reminder that when life seems the worst you have to know that tomorrow may bring total change.  People were at there lowest low on Saturday, and by Sunday they were at the highest high.