Fences or Ambulances? Let's start the discussion today.

In light of the event that happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday and all of the other tragedies we have had to deal with in the past years, our Pastor opened our church service with this poem today.  Isn't it time we had a serious discussion in this country about the topic of guns.

A Fence or an Ambulance

'Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed,
Though to walk near its crest was so pleasant;
But over its terrible edge there had slipped
A duke and full many a peasant.

So the people said something would have to be done,
But their projects did not at all tally;
Some said, "Put a fence 'round the edge of the cliff,"
Some, "An ambulance down in the valley."

But the cry for the ambulance carried the day,
For it spread through the neighboring city;
A fence may be useful or not, it is true,
But each heart became full of pity

For those who slipped over the dangerous cliff;
And the dwellers in highway and alley
Gave pounds and gave pence, not to put up a fence,
But an ambulance down in the valley.

"For the cliff is all right, if you're careful," they said,
"And, if folks even slip and are dropping,
It isn't the slipping that hurts them so much
As the shock down below when they're stopping."

So day after day, as these mishaps occurred,
Quick forth would those rescuers sally
To pick up the victims who fell off the cliff,
With their ambulance down in the valley.

Then an old sage remarked: "It's a marvel to me
That people give far more attention
To repairing results than to stopping the cause,
When they'd much better aim at prevention.

Let us stop at its source all this mischief," cried he,
"Come, neighbors and friends, let us rally;
If the cliff we will fence, we might almost dispense
With the ambulance down in the valley."

"Oh he's a fanatic," the others rejoined,
"Dispense with the ambulance? Never!
He'd dispense with all charities, too, if he could;
No! No! We'll support them forever.

Aren't we picking up folks just as fast as they fall?
And shall this man dictate to us? Shall he?
Why should people of sense stop to put up a fence,
While the ambulance works in the valley?"

But the sensible few, who are practical too,
Will not bear with such nonsense much longer;
They believe that prevention is better than cure,
And their party will soon be the stronger.

Encourage them then, with your purse, voice, and pen,
And while other philanthropists dally,
They will scorn all pretense, and put up a stout fence
On the cliff that hangs over the valley.

Better guide well the young than reclaim them when old,
For the voice of true wisdom is calling.
"To rescue the fallen is good, but 'tis best
To prevent other people from falling."

Better close up the source of temptation and crime
Than deliver from dungeon or galley;
Better put a strong fence 'round the top of the cliff
Than an ambulance down in the valley.
-- Joseph Malins (1895)

Making a list! (or not)

I was sitting at church last Sunday when a good friend of mine started talking about what Christmas and the holiday season was all about.  I’m a list person.  I keep “to do” lists both physically and constantly in my mind as I keep a fairly hectic schedule.  When the holidays approach it seems as though my “lists” are never ending.  Just as quickly as I knock something off the list three more things are added.  Are your holidays like that?

Send cards, shop for relatives, decorate the house, decorate the tree, stop at shipping store to mail gifts, work on Church holiday programs, plan holiday meals, and shop for holiday meals are just a short version of the longer list detailing all the specifics needing to get done.  Of course I have a business to run and various holiday parties and events to attend as well.  There is just so much to do in December and not enough time to get it all done. 

My head spins and I begin to wonder if the list will ever be done.  Isn’t that what matters?   Getting prepared for the holidays is the highest priority?  For me at least, I tend to fall into that trap more than need be.

Back to what my friend Mike shared at Church Sunday.  Mike is one of those guys who is always busy as well.  A devoted servant of the church, Mike is a leader of the praise band and is always lending his time to play at special services, parties and even funerals and weddings.  He talked about how he too lived by the lists at Christmas.  He lost his wife at too young an age and the “duties” for the surviving parent were overwhelming. 

And at the height of his frustrations one holiday season he visited some old friends.  Over the course of a few days he shared with these friends his concerns and problems and all the things on his list he wasn’t getting done.   After a few days of self centered pity, his friend offered simple advice.   “Mike” she said.  “It’s not about you, it’s about a celebration of a birth in a manger, the coming together of family and friends to remember what matters.”

We have had a remarkable year in Real Estate.  Sales continue to climb, housing prices are creeping up and consumer confidence promises more of the same as we move into next year.  We are busier than we have been in several years.  If you are like me, this “busy-ness” means you are relying on lists to make sure your holidays are perfect.   My advice for the day, if the lists don’t get done, it’s alright!  Remember to stop what you are doing, lay down your phones, turn off your computers, and just enjoy those things that matter.  It wasn’t about Mike, and it’s not about me or you either.

Happy Holidays!

(This is a repost from the December "Knothole". A publication of the Champaign County Association of REALTORS)

The Dumbest Thing I ever did in College (Part One)

Ok so we have all done dumb things in our lives.  I'm no exception.  I mean part of growing up, especially while attending college,  are the choices you make.  The opportunity presents itself, and you either act or your choose not to.  While my list of "acts I regret" is much longer than one incident, I thought it might be fun to recount the dumbest of the dumb acts in my college years.

So is was a cold January night and one of my pledge brothers and I were walking back from KAMS, a popular Campustown watering hole headed for my apartment.  We may have had a few too many, although certainly at this point in my life I can honestly say I don't recall having been "under the influence."  It's highly probable though.

One of our local fraternities, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, has a grand staircase leading from the sidewalk to their front door.  Sitting on either side of the staircase are beautiful sculptures of lions similar to the photo above.  Apparently the lion is one of their honored fraternal symbols.  Certainly these two sculptures had sat on their perch overlooking Daniels Street for many a year.  

It was common practice in those days for other fraternities and sororities to "decorate" the lions.  On any given morning you might find them painted a new color, adorned with clothing, both outer and under wear or covered in the previous night's meal offerings.  They were certainly attention getter's for many who lived in the neighborhood.  

So on this late January evening, my pledge brother Bill and I were walking by the stately lions only to find that one had been knocked off it's perch.  The fall had damaged the lion, breaking off one of the paws.  I'm certain our natural instincts of preserving fine art must have kicked in, or something to that effect, and we decided in one of our more brilliant moments to rescue the fallen lion!  

I remember it was heavy, very heavy...and rather than carry it three blocks to my apartment we chose to carry it one block to our chapter house.  There we nurtured it's wounds, applied the appropriate medicines and bandaged the fallen idol, or we threw it in the chapter room, I'm not really sure which.  Either way, in the morning it was in the chapter room.  

When our fellow brothers came back from winter break we were certainly applauded for our bravery.  However our chapter president, being of sound mind and values, insisted we remove it from the chapter room.  "Trouble" was his fear.  As the lion was broken, returning it would only lead to punishment.  Of that we were certain.  So again, in another brilliant move, we loaded it into the back of a car and permanently entombed it in a dumpster behind County Market.  It may still be there some 35 years later.

Time passed, I graduated and went to work in Detroit, and  I really hadn't given that night much thought.  And then, Bill called.  SAE found out that we had taken the lion and guess what?  They wanted it replaced.   In another of life's important lessons, I learned that you can't replace just one lion.  As the first one was over 50 years old, finding a second that matched was impossible.  So both needed replacing.  Bill informed me the invoice was $3000.  We split the cost and replaced the lions.  A noble thing to do I'm sure. (But perhaps the threat of arrest was more influential than nobility).

So as I pass the front entrance of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity on the corner of Third and Daniels in Campustown I am reminded of my misgivings on a regular basis.  And while I feel a sense of ownership for these lions, (I claim to own the one on the left), I am also reminded that "preserving fine works of art" should be left the the professionals!

There's No Place Like Home!

(The following is a reprint of my monthly message in the Champaign County Association of REALTORS Knothole)

Last weekend was Homecoming at the University of Illinois and on college campuses all over America.  Now if you would have asked me when I was in high school or even in my early years in college if I would consider the University of Illinois or Champaign Urbana “home” in 30 years   I probably would have laughed you out of the building. 

But Champaign County is my home and I’m proud of it.  A lot of my friends don’t understand how I can possibly stand living in such a “small town” after growing up in the Chicago suburbs.  And yet I can’t imagine a place more vibrant, more fun than this town. 

Christian Morganstern said, “Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.”  For me at least, if there is anywhere in the world where I’m understood its good old CU.  We are a community rich in diversity, comfortable in the pursuit of knowledge and a magnet for people from all over the world who come here to shape their lives.   

But that’s my vision of what home is.  Home is so much more than that for the rest of the world.  And as Realtors we shape those places for many in our community.  When you begin to think about the influence a home has on families it becomes difficult to comprehend just what an impact we have in people’s lives. 

We are “homes” greatest advocates.  We work hard to find the perfect fit for our clients.  Whether it’s the number of bedrooms, the bathrooms, the ideal kitchen, basements or just the feel you get the first time you walk through the doors, our members work diligently every day to discover the house that’s “just right.”  And from that first impression, lives are created, shaped and grown.  

These are the places we all feel comfortable going back to.  Millions will brave the elements in the next few weeks to recapture the magic and the spirit of their youth.  And while every home does not inspire “Norman Rockwell” moments, most will be filled with the comfort and safety that comes from the memories shared with families.   

That’s what we do for a living you know.  We find houses for our clients and these houses become the homes their children and grandchildren come back to year after year.  So this holiday season when you are gathered in your home or the home of another friend or family member, remember it is because of the work you do every day that these moments happen.

“Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved.”   Ann Douglas

Bricks and Mortar - Greek Style

So I've been spending a lot of time lately talking to people about bricks and mortar.  You are probably thinking that there is only so much time you can spend on this topic, but trust me when I say this topic leads to seemingly endless conversations.  For me at least, the bricks and mortar topic relates to the Greek system at the University of Illinois.  There are two things that have commanded my attention during the past few years.

The first is the capital campaign for my own chapter.  We are embarking on a $3.5 million renovation of a 100+ year old building.  More than 25 very talented people have been soliciting donations, making plans, meeting with architects and laying out the future for our chapter.  It is certainly a fun project, especially when I have the chance to get on the phone with brothers from the past and catch up on old times.  Our chapter house has about 10 good years left in it, maybe.  But this plan will extend the life another 50 at least.

The second involves the UI Greek system as a whole.  The UI housing division recently announced they were ending a clause that allowed freshman to transfer into a fraternity house for a minimal breakage fee.  The UI now wants 75% of the contract value to break their agreements.  Frankly, I never understood why the housing division allowed us to buy out their contracts for just $1000.  I think in part the UI housing was over capacity for years and it helped them to thin the ranks.  But that is no longer the case, and the buy outs cost them over $500,000 in revenue annually.

If you have followed the political rhetoric you may have heard our president's commitment to "keeping the cost of higher education affordable."  I know I heard that Tuesday night again.  Well part of the this relates to the the UI's decision to keep their residents and their money.  Seems logical right?  It does to me as well.  

This decision brought leaders from several rival fraternities to negotiate an extension of the buyouts for at least another year.  I won't bore you with the details, but just let me say an eight month negotiation went from a 4 year extension, to a 2 year extension, to a one year extension to none.  

So bricks and mortar have absorbed my time. But these meetings with other fraternity alumni leaders have reminded me we have other issues than bricks and mortar.  We all have a set of ideals we are pledged to.  All are different, but all are similar in nature as we all have pledged our lives to be better men and help our fellow men to be better as well.  

I'm not sure when being a fraternity meant having a house. Certainly at the UI in the early 1900's you needed a high school diploma and a LEASE to get into school.  Having a place to live was a prerequisite.  Post World War II the UI exploded and didn't have enough housing and the Greek system grew.  And the system grew again in the late 60's and early 70's.

My time in Ol' 911 was special, and I truly loved the experience of living with and sharing ideas morning, noon and night with my chapter brothers.  I believe the single GREATEST value of fraternity life is that it teaches our men to negotiate and compromise.  You don't have to learn this in a dorm, or in a apartment and maybe in your house for the rest of your life.  But you do need to learn it in the work place.   Chapters without houses don't get as many spontaneous opportunities for brothers to state their case, defend it and then deal with the end result.  They get some, and I believe it's still a value, but they don't get as many.

So bricks and mortar will continue to monopolize my time for the next few months and probably years.  And that's ok, because deep down I know that these bricks and this mortar is helping young men prepare themselves for a better life.  

This blog was written by T.J. Sullivan and I am re-posting it as it represents exactly what I believe about commitment to a fraternity and my commitment to my fraternity.

You are always wearing your letters

You’re interested in joining our fraternity? We’d love to have you. You’re the type of person we look for: committed, enthusiastic, a leader. We think you’ll do great things here, and we hope that we’ll open some doors for you. You will make lifelong friendships, and hopefully, you’ll be the type of person whose positive impact will be felt here for many years.

This is the start of something really cool.

We know you have your reasons for joining, and we also know that the reasons you’ll stay will be entirely different. Trust us on that one. People tend to join for the image, the props, and the social stuff. They stay around for the friendships and because they find a place where they can impact the lives of others. It’s a family. We know this. Soon, you will, too.

Soon, these letters will be yours. But, there’s one lesson that we need to impress upon you before you sign your name on the dotted line, pay that first fee, and get that first t-shirt. It’s the single most important thing we’re going to ask of you, so you need to listen and understand it, now, before you say “yes.”

It’s the one most important thing that any fraternity or sorority can impress upon its new members. It’s the one lesson that every group must impress upon its newest members. Truly, our survival as an organization on this campus, and nationwide, depends on you understanding this one simple lesson and taking it to heart.

It’s more important than our history, our traditions, our structure, or our rules. Because, if you don’t understand this most fundamental lesson, then none of the other stuff will matter. If you don’t get this one “golden rule of fraternity,” then your son or daughter won’t have this kind of organization to join someday, and all of this will just be a fuzzy memory.

Here it is. Ready?

From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.

I’m going to repeat it.

From the moment you say yes to this organization, you are always wearing your letters.

We’re not talking about t-shirts, or sweatshirts, or hats made in the colors of the group. We’re not talking about a tattoo on your ankle, some party favor, or a badge you wear on your dress shirt.

What we mean is that when you say yes to lifetime membership in this group, everything you say, do and represent from that moment forward is a direct reflection on this group, your brothers, and the thousands of members who have come before you. Everything you put out to the world is a direct reflection of this fraternity. Every decision, every achievement, every mistake you make happens to all of us from this point forward.

When you go to the grocery store, you represent us. If you fall asleep in class or earn a weak grade, you represent us. When you drive down the road and slow down so a pedestrian can cross the street, you represent us.

When you turn 21 and hit the town, you represent us. When you become a leader of another campus organization, you represent us. When you insult someone or talk badly about another fraternity, you represent us. When you break up with someone and make decisions about how you behave during that difficult time, you represent us. When you go on Spring Break, you represent us.

When you go home and sit at your mother’s dining room table, you represent us. When you get a job and go to work for a company or organization, you represent us. When you commit your life to that special person, someday, you represent us.

You are always wearing your letters.

From this day forward, always. Every day, in every situation. They never come off.

As surely as if you tattooed these letters on your forehead. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a jersey with our name on it, or a business suit at an interview. You have to assume that every person you meet will form a permanent opinion about fraternities – good or bad – based on how you interact with them. Every good thing you do builds us up. Every dumb thing you do tears us down.

We live in a time when the actions of one man or one woman can kill a group like ours. One person who acts in a way that is inconsistent with our shared values can end a hundred years of tradition and pride. One choice you make on a Friday night can take away everything that generations of men have worked to build.

All the stuff you see that belongs to us can be boxed up or thrown out, because of the choices you make.

If this seems a little intense, that’s good. Because it’s serious. If it sounds like too much responsibility, or if you don’t think you can behave in a way that reflects well on us at all times, then walk away now. Do us the favor. We won’t think less of you. In fact, we’ll thank you. This sort of commitment isn’t for everybody.

But, don’t say yes unless you understand.

We’re not asking you to give up anything. We aren’t asking you to become something you aren’t. We’re asking you to become something more. We’re inviting you to become part of a group of men who make a promise to take care of each other, every day. We’re asking you to become the very best version of you that you can be.

We’re asking you to take a leap of maturity and to go to that place where you’re the same, honorable, dignified person on Saturday night as you are on Tuesday morning.

It’s a big deal, and not everyone can do it. Forget everything you’ve heard up to this point. Forget how much you might desire this, or how much we might want to bring you into the group. Just clear your mind and ask yourself one question.

Are you ready to never take them off?

Because when you say yes, you’re not just putting letters on a sweatshirt. You’re putting them in your heart. You’re forever stamping your identity with them. Everything you are, from this point on, becomes who we are.

You will make mistakes, and brothers will remind you of your commitment. There will be times where you will see other brothers forgetting their promise, and you’ll need to remind them. That’s part of this whole “fraternity” thing. We work together to make ourselves better men who stand for something. We carry each other. We matter to one another.

If we’re doing fraternity right, then we’ll make you a better man. If you’re doing everything right, then you will make us a better organization. So, please think about it. Take it seriously. Because if you say yes, these letters belong to you as surely as they belonged to our founders. If you say yes, these letters become your responsibility forever.

That’s the promise.

Another Garrido Story: Temper, Temper

So I thought I would share a couple Augie Garrido stories just for fun.  For those that don't know Augie, he is the winning-est college of all time.  He has won over 1500 games in his life and 5 national collegiate baseball championships.  And for about 3 years he was  the coach at the University of Illinois.  I was hired as Augie's Director of Baseball operations and basically my job was to keep him out of trouble.  And trust me, that was a challenge.  In the meantime I helped set up the marketing plan, summer camps and game day experiences, the sound, the entertainment and giveaways in the stands, and just plain worked at making the games fun to come to.

In Augie's first year at Illinois he inherited a bunch of "hard working" Chicago kids.  They all were great student-athletes but not necessarily the greatest baseball players.  A new stadium was built upon Augie's arrival and that along with just the drive Augie has as a coach had propelled them to a great record going into the Big Ten season.  The team was about 15-3 or so playing Minnesota in a 4 game home series.  Augie gathered them all in the clubhouse before the game and gave one of the most inspiring pregame talks I have every heard.  I call it the "I am a champion" speech.  For 20 minutes Garrido talked about the game being played one pitch, one out, one inning at a time and the key to great teams was winning each increment of the game.  "Battle for every pitch, every out and every inning.  Win every inning and you will win the game." But to do that Augie said you have to believe you are the best man in that spot.  "Say to yourself 1000 times a game, I am a champion, I am a champion... and if you say it enough you will believe it and your actions will follow what you believe...."   A great lesson in life, to break tough situations down to their most basic elements and be successful in each little piece.  

I wish I would have recorded this speech, it was truly one of the greatest I ever heard.  However...we lost all four games of the series and slid back in the conference standings never to recover that season.  But, I'll never forget the speech.  Sometimes when I talk to Augie I'll joke, "have you tried the I am a Champion speech on the team?"  :)

Another of my favorite Augie moments happened at a NCAA regional championship.  Now for as intense as Augie was in the regular season using every moment possible as a "teaching moment", Augie was very laid back in the post season.  Perhaps this is the secret to his success.  He explained to me once that in the regular season he needed to "get their attention."  The players were thinking about going out at night, or their girlfriends or a test they had the next day, and he needed to get on them so they refocused on the game and on the moment.  But in the post season, Augie said "I need to get them to relax."  He said, "they all want to win the ring or the trophy and I need them to relax so they play better."  So he was laid back, that is, except at the NCCA at Mississippi State in 1990.  

We were leading MSU in the mid innings despite the fact we weren't getting all the calls.  A win would put us in the regional championship game, one win there and we go to the College World Series. A loss would send us to the loser's bracket where we would need to win three in a row to go to Omaha.  Augie had a dialog going with the home plate umpire and finally he jumped out of the dugout and gave the umpire his best Earl Weaver imitation.  He kicked dirt on him, yelled at him and gave him "his opinion" of his work.  He grabbed a pair of sunglasses off his head, and not just any pair, but a $300 pair he got the week before, threw them on the ground and stomped them.  Then he stopped, looked at the glasses, picked them up and walked back to the dugout.  

He bee-lined to me, and said very discretely, "Todd, if you ever let me wear a pair of $300 sunglasses when I go to yell at an ump you're fired."  He smiled and we both got a good chuckle out of that.  The bad news was in the 8th inning, still up 3-2 over MSU we got another bad call on a balls and strike.  A strike would have ended the inning.  Two pitches later the batter hit a home run and MSU took the lead 4-3.  We lost and didn't win the next game either.  Augie called this one of the singular most disappointing calls in his life in a story written several years later.  I know he feels as I do that getting out of the inning would have sent us to the College World Series.  And that would have been huge for a program like Illinois.

I have many Augie stories, but these are two I share for now.  In the locker rooms he has coached at Garrido puts up a sign that says, "It's amazing what can be accomplished when no one cares who gets the credit."  That is just one of those things I cherish in my friendship with Coach Garrido.