I was invited to speak to the pledges of all of the fraternities on campus last night. What a humbling experience. I thought I would share my thoughts with you. First let me say these thoughts are not original. I asked many friends, brothers and staff to share with me "what would you like me to tell 1000 or so pledges in Greek System. I got a lot of great responses and narrowed them to about "10 or so things I wish I had known when I was a pledge" Let me share them now.
I asked everyone to stand and shake hands with the people around them. The room was filled with future leaders of the world: Doctors who will find cures to cancer, men who will work on the Mars project, senators and congressmen, CEO's of major companies. Here in this room were some of the most brilliant men in the world. They just didn't realize it yet.
Then I presented the list.
#1. Be a sponge. Learn everything you can about the chapter, the national fraternity, the university and the alumni. Now is the time to build your foundation. The more you know, the easier it will be to establish a network in the future.
#2. Wear your Letters and Colors with Pride. We need to tell the community and the campus who you are. Whether you are on campus wearing your fraternity colors, or back home wearing the orange and blue, we want everyone to know you are part of our Greek system and our University.
#3. You are no one's personal servant. Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863. That freed you! You are not required to clean someone's house, room or apartment (except maybe your own). You are no one's Merry Maid, Uber driver or Grub Hub delivery man. Your role now is to learn about your history, meet your brothers and find where you fit in. If someone in your chapter has a problem with this, call me or someone in the Greek Affairs office.
#4. Venture past your front sidewalk. There is a whole world out there beyond your fraternity property line. Find clubs and organizations you love. Get involved. Share your talent and wisdom with other organizations and other students.
#5. Own you actions. Everything you do is is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age that is to blame. You and ONLY you are responsible for EVERY choice you make! Period. If you decide to drink until you black out, own it, and own the consequences. If you chose to use drugs, harass women, steal or lie it's a choice you have made. Being in a Fraternity is not a license to break the law. Own it and if necessary.....
#6. Ask for Help. You are surrounded by people who want to help you. I believe the that ages 18-20 are the most difficult ages in your life. You will be faced with making decisions without your parents help. Things like alcohol, drugs, cheating, sex etc. These can be tough to figure out. It's likely you may make mistakes. Welcome to the club. We have all made bad decisions in our lives. You can learn amazing things from your mistakes when you are not busy denying them. All of us, the alumni, faculty, staff, counselors, are here because we want to work with college students. Seek us out. We won't judge you. We will help you.
#7. Get off the fence. In a 100 man chapter there are 20 leaders, 20 idiots, and 60 men sitting on the fence waiting and wondering if they should be a leader. Get off the fence. Whether on campus or in the chapter "step in and step up" to leadership. Don't wait a year to get involved. Join a committee, shadow an officer, ask the president where and how you can help. I promise you there is a role for you. The time is now. Don't wait for your turn.
#8. Embrace Diversity. If you haven't figured this out by now you need to. This is one of the most diverse campuses in the world. 114 countries, over 11,000 international students. The world literally is out on the quad waiting to be discovered. Meet as many students as you can. Learn about their culture. Find out why they might chose this campus in the middle of a cornfield. The stories are amazing. And by the way, having members from around the world only makes your chapter better.
#9. Become an Active Bystander. See it, stop it, get help. We need to police ourselves. The Greek system is stereotyped with many horrible images. We have earned these designations based on our actions. If you think a brother is suffering from mental health issues and is possibly suicidal, talk to him, lead him to help. This also applies to brothers who abuse alcohol and drugs. Find help. And no issue is more serious that preventing sexual harassment and assault. Stop it before it's a problem. If you don't feel comfortable confronting them, get help. Find another brother or officer to intervene.
#10. Make Every DAY Matter. This is my personal mantra. No one has been promised they will be here tomorrow. Things happen. I was diagnosed 4 years ago with stage 4 colorectal cancer. It had spread to 6 areas in my body. I had an expiration date. And after 45 chemo treatments and support from friends, brothers, family and God, I am cancer free. The lesson learned, don't waste time. Make Every DAY Matter. Ask yourself every night before you fall asleep, "what could I have done differently to make a difference in someones life today?" What could I have done to make today a better day for me and those around me.
Finally I shared a passage I received from a brother I admire very much. He graduated two years ago and is a pre-med student.
The U of I has one of the richest Greek traditions in the entire collegiate system. It has never been more important than now to uphold and improve the positive, enriching aspects of Greek life and stamp out the harmful, negative aspects. The class of 2023 has the power to effect great change in their organizations, but it's up to them to decide what kind of change it will be.
Pledging is an exciting time and should
be enjoyed. The connections made in this process and through your time as
active members will last a lifetime. Chances are you'll meet your best man or
future business partner. But don't allow a sense of responsibility to your
pledge process outweigh your academic commitments. You are all students
enrolled at one of the top universities at the entire world before you are
members of your respective organizations.
UI Greek Alum, Class of '17
My last challenge to you all.
When you bring honor to yourself you bring honor to your chapter, you bring honor to your fraternity, your university and the entire Greek system.
When you dishonor yourself, you dishonor your chapter, your fraternity, your university and the entire Greek system.
Make us Proud!
