A Slightly Different Christmas Story. (Or how I spent my Christmas Vacation)

So my family is pretty much a turn off the tv on Christmas day kind of family. Me being the radical I always have to find a way to break with tradition.  After all my roots are in Fraternity life and as I always say when I speak about Greek Life a "tradition is what we did last year"...

Ha, ok, back to reality.  Why the discussion on tv on Christmas day?  Because I got to spend not only Christmas day, but entire Christmas weekend camped in front of the tv at Carle Hospital.  Why you may ask?  Well you see it was sort of like this... (flashback to last Thursday night)

I was watching tv on Thursday night and I had a sharp pain in my chest just below my breastbone.  It was intense for about a minute.  Then it dropped off. 

A few hours later I had another.  My doctor's nurse has told me to "report all side effects" no matter how minor during the keytruda immuno therapy test.  So I called Friday morning to report the news.

They called back an hour or so later and asked to come by the ER to run some tests.  An EKG to rule out heart issues and blood and c scan to rule out other issues.

So, I did, thinking this would be a three hour visit.  But....they found elevated enzyme levels in my liver and an apparent blockage of some liver ducts.  Two weeks ago I had the same blood test and all was normal.  So this came on fast.  

Dr. Science Fiction (I think I heard the nurse call him "Bones") came in my ER room and said he wanted to put in a stint to drain my fluids in my liver.  And he would prefer to do it that day since A. he was there and B. he didn't want to risk having it be an emergency and needing to come back Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  So he asked me to hang on so he could see if he could put together a surgical team. (I suspect they may have been flying the Enterprise at warp speed a few light years away to some inter-galactic Cabo San Lucas and the flight was leaving later tonight.)

An hour later they said, we have a team together and we are checking you in. Oh boy, my first thought was, "how is Santa going to find me?"


I got an awesome room on the 6th, just a little larger than my condo.  I thought, hmm....not so bad!  The doc came back and then they rolled me down to the Star Trek operating room about 10:30 PM.  It had a 90 inch HD screen. All kind of floating robotic tools and I think a James T. Kirk command chair.  

I was wide awake and could see the scope a little going in and out of me!  They had some great music on and we were joking throughout.  So except for the doctor poking my side with a sharp knife and wanting to borough into my liver, it was a decent experience.

I got back to my suite about 1 AM and the party began.  Well it wasn't really a party, but you know when you have any kind of surgery the nurses all want to show their friends your stitches and such.  I am pretty sure my drainage tube was shared on several snapchat sites throughout the night, some nurse networking I guess.

To paraphrase Cat Stevens, "Morning was broken" and a new doctor, not with Starfleet I don't think, came in to share the good news that the surgery went well, ( I think she saw the Snapchat posts) and the even better news, I get to spend Christmas Eve at Carle!!!  Who could have imagined such a perfect holiday spectacular!  This year was "Big Christmas" for my family.  Since my family has at last count, over 100,000 people, some wise person, probably my step mother June, determined that we would gather every other year in some hallowed place (usually a Chicago suburb) and spend the holiday together.  We are not permitted to miss Big Christmas unless we are well, you know, not above ground.  So my first reaction to the doctor was she better call June.  I don't know what happened, but as you can probably guess, I missed big Christmas.  

It wasn't a terrible Christmas Eve.  The doc gave me some morphine and the world was good! I thought I saw a bright shining star in the sky, somewhere over the stables in Rantoul.  Next thing I know I have about 2500 texts, so answering those filled the rest of my day.  Oh, Dr. Science Fiction came in as well, I think he may have used the transporter as I didn't really see him walk in or out.  And he shared the even better news, I couldn't go home for Christmas day either.  I don't think he cleared that with June or even my sister Kristina who plans the order of Christmas present opening sometime in July of each year.  When you are as brilliant as she is you have to use your free time wisely. Christmas is an important day for her and therefore it gets high priority. 

A quick aside.  Always one to take on the little guy to support corporate America, my latest crusade is to scrutinize food trucks in Champaign in favor of the brick and mortar restaurant owners.  Not to get off on a serious note, but basically I have great respect for the men and women who have revitalized downtown Champaign and made it a truly endearing place to hang out, by spending millions on building renovations and still spending thousands on property taxes and mortgages to help make our hanging out time more fun.  So a writer with the local paper, the News-Gazette, chose Saturday to publish the interview with me on my opinion.  Rumor was the food truck owners were assembling and had an all points bulletin out to capture and contain me. Something about grilling me on their open flames. (The local police were supporting and protecting the do-nut truck)  Anyway my hospital captivity and dedicated nursing staff protected me from their attack.  

Christmas in the Presidential Suite. Christmas Eve while my family was gorging on delicacies and wonderful sweets and cordials, I was enjoying a clear liquid diet.  In my family a clear liquid diet is Chardonney and Vodka.   The hospital did not have that on the menu.  So, chicken broth and Italian ice for me!  I may be the only person in my family who lost weight this past weekend! 

Did I say the doc put me on Steroids?  I had the immediate urge to go pump some iron.  However the port between my ribs helped me remember that I should put off lifting heavy objects for a day or two.  Here's something I didn't know.  Steroids keep you awake.  So I wasn't very tired come bed time.  Panic set in.  We all know that Santa won't come if you are awake. And with him needing to search for me at the hospital I didn't want to risk any chance he would fly by.  However, I was mostly awake and he didn't come. :(  Maybe I wasn't as good a boy as I thought.

I think I saw him fly over though.

Morning came again the doc said, no going home today, (why would I want to with all this luxury?) however, she was moving me to a normal but slightly restricted diet.  HALLELUJAH!!  You see the hospital had delivered a "Christmas Menu" with Prime Rib and Mashed Sweet Potatoes and Pumpkin Pie and I was ready to dig in.   However.....my restriction was a low fat diet.  Who knew this liver enzyme they were draining was the one that processed fatty foods.  Dang!!

My potential menu for the day was a little better than chicken broth, so I was happy.  Doc also said "I am hoping to send you home tomorrow but no promises."  What the doc didn't know was that I have friends in Black ops and a nephew who is secretly a super hero. They were planning a break out that may happen on Christmas day but at the latest would be the next day.  Amazing what the can be put together at a moment’s notice.  As the nurses were giving me wonderful care I warned them about the potential for a break out and that they should just stay away from the windows if they heard the chopper.

Christmas day was ok. One of my closest friends, Jim Acheson came by.  One of the truly great mentors I have had in my life. (Blame him for my undying love for my fraternity). And a little later the undergraduate President of my chapter came by.  I can honestly say I have never spent Christmas day with our undergraduate President, (except when I was President of course).  He brought Werther’s  This man is destined for greatness.  He is moving quickly up the ladder of “greatest presidents ever” much to the dismay of past presidents Mike O’Neill, Ryan Flanagan and Chris Gapinske.  I think you could be elected POTUS, (that’s President of the United States for the uneducated), with bags a Werther’s.  There is a lesson here for the next Hillary Clinton wanna be. (Maybe the Donald has stock in Werther's, I may be on to something)  But while I had him there we worked on an agenda for our next retreat in January.  HAHA, I’m obsessed, I can’t put fraternity aside even on a holiday.

As I said earlier who knew there were so many good movies and shows on that day.  John Wayne cowboy marathon on AMC. Beauty and the Beast on ABC.  It was just wonderful.  Who needs Christmas?  Oh wait, they were on because it was Christmas. 

As I enjoyed my two feasts during the day, keeping a watchful eye while listening for whirling rotors, I thought what can I do to help these stranded workers have a better day.  Thus, my afternoon stroll through Carle materialized.  I just started walking, IV attached and drainage bag draining and stopped and thanked every nurse and doctor and maintenance worker and house keeper for coming to work and helping to make my holiday a little better. (They all thought I was nuts and should be locked away, luckily I didn't meet a psychologist)  

The evening was quiet.   I thought I saw a few shepherds and a couple of wise looking men going to the neo-natel floor, but it may have been the sugar rush in my head.  (I had the pumpkin pie! Haha, don't tell the doctor)  

Monday morning arrived.  First thing I hear is that Arlo, my super hero nephew will be arriving by noon.  I warn the nurses. Second, the doc says I'm going home for sure.  She gives me 100 instructions and lots of meds for home use, and of course I remember one thing, I'm going home.  Fortunately she typed it all up and gave me a copy.  I'll read it in July sometime.  Secretly I think she got word of Arlo coming and wanted to high tail it out before he got there.  Wise woman.  Doctors are not stupid for the most part.  

So I wait patiently, (ha, get it, a patient being patient) and only 5 hours later they are prepared to send me home.  After three stays in the hospital I have come to learn that noon is the check-out time and they feel like they haven’t provided you with your money's worth if you leave even one minute early. Note to hospital, I'm ok on getting gyped on my night's stay. Shoot you can kick me out at 6 AM before breakfast.  Well, maybe 7:30, the biscuits and gravy are pretty good there.  

So....lessons from the weekend.

1. I'm glad we caught this early.  The real doctor, my oncologist, thinks it was a reaction to the immuno therapy drug and that we caught it before it did serious damage to the liver. One of the problems with immuno therapy is sometimes the drug can't tell the difference between the tumor and other organs like your liver, heart, lungs, etc.  (Just minor organs :)) So you have if you have a problem you need to catch it fast.

2. We need to figure out a new strategy to attack this tumor. Good news is the testing this week showed it hasn't gotten any larger since August. 

3. The staff at Carle are angels.  So many of them selflessly are there over the holidays to take care of patients.  It reminds me that there are 1000's just in our community alone in health care, police, fire, city workers, etc etc who must spend time away from their families.  I won't forget that lesson next time I'm with my own family

4. Those Star Trek doctors and operating rooms are pretty cool.  I suspect the new Carle/UI Med school will be focused on training more medical students for Starfleet. 

5. Super Arlo has magic powers.  Heaven and earth moves in front of him.  I'm so lucky he is my nephew! 

Merry Christmas to you and “Live long, and prosper.”

Thankful for so many things this year.

I have always enjoyed Thanksgiving week.  Good food, time with friends and family and just a day or two to catch my breath from an overbooked summer or busy back to school season.  However I don't think I could be much more thankful than I am this year.  Let's start with the obvious.  If you have been following my story or keeping in touch you know that about 11 months ago a local doctor let me know I was suffering from stage 4 cancer.  I had colon and duodenal cancer that had spread to my liver and pancreas.  He prescribed major surgery to remove 6 feet of colon and then 8 months of chemotherapy.  

At the time I wasn't so sure I would be around for this year's Thanksgiving.  But, here I am and here I intend to stay.  I have followed doctors orders and feel better than I have in over a year.  And of course, ready to enjoy another turkey dinner.  The prognosis is good, even though I still have one of the two cancers in me.  (The liver cancer is gone, the pancreatic cancer was never there and the colon cancer seems to be on hold).  

This year has reminded me though just how blessed I am.  In church on Sunday our Pastor mentioned one of my favorite scripture passages, Matthew 14:29 when Peter steps out of the boat onto the water, then realizes what has done and sinks in the water.  Peter doesn't have faith that Jesus will protect him and allow him to continue to walk on the water.  

This passage reminds me how this year has been for me as well we reminding me of just how thankful I am.  First, throughout this year I have maintained my faith that God has a plan for me.  My job was to stay connected with him and follow the path he laid out.  This included the treatments and regaining my strength. It also required me to step out of my own "boat", my comfort zone, and allow people who wanted to help to provide that help.  The plan could be compared to continuing my walk on the water once I stepped out the boat.  

Second, I have been thankful for the reminder of just how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family.  Everyone came to my aid and made sure I was in a position to heal and take care of myself, when the time was right. 

In addition I have some incredible friends.  Whether they are my doggie play group friends, fraternity brothers, church families or theater volunteers, so many people stepped up and brought dinners, ran errands or drove me around when needed,  I am truly blessed.  I could not begin to count the numbers of cards, emails, messages and thoughtful gifts I have gotten from this group young and old.  It certainly is a reminder of the hearts we touch in our normal daily lives.  

I am also reminded of the wonderful community I am a part of.  It seems where ever I go in town people are praying for me, or have asked their prayer groups at church to pray for me.  It also seems like thousands have taken up that charge and faithfully include me in their daily requests from God. This is most humbling as I hardly seem worthy of this kind of attention.

Included in my community are the people at work.  All have been supportive, patient and willing to lend a hand  It took some time to get back up to full speed and many have pitched in to fill in the gaps.  

So this Thursday when I sit down for my meal I'll say a prayer and make sure I remember everyone who has given me something to be thankful for this year.  It truly has allowed me to step out of the boat, my own comfort zone, and be faithfilled as I continue in this walk towards healing.  

My medical journal. Part something :)

Trip to Univ of Chicago Medicine

By Todd Salen — 11 minutes ago

Round two of second opinions yesterday.  If you get two second opinions does one of those become the Third Opinion?  I'm open to your opinion on this :)
We went up to University of Chicago Hospital and met with Dr. Blaise Polite.  I had read his bio and opened our conversation with this question...."Why would anyone take Greek as a second language?"   He chuckled, knowing I must have done some research on him and informed me he has Greek heritage.  When I told him I did as well we became fast friends.
Dr. Polite is a very smart man, that is evident.  And he understands colon cancer, that is clear as well.  He offered many suggestions on what can happen next, perhaps as soon as 3 or 4 weeks from now.  I very much appreciated his sense of urgency.
One thing I have come to realize.  This may not be about finding a cure.  This is more about extending the time I have.  We have heard everything from 2 months to two years from the doctors.  Dr. Polite talked in terms of 4-5 years.  That's refreshing.
So it was a day well spent for sure, thanks for my sister Kristina for twisting my arm to go and sister Karen for taking me.  Also thanks to Matt Purnell for doing the driving from CU to the south side and back.
On a personal side I had lots of company in the past week.  Cousin Amy and her two kids Garrett and McKenzie, Cousin Dana and his son Brandon and Patrick Jiang, who was the first student from China I hosted.  It was so much fun to see everyone and catch up.
I also committed to producing Oklahoma for the Champaign Urbana Theater Company this summer.  Director Stephen Fiol asked me.  Talk about great medicine, Steve is just a joy to be around . My summer calendar is filling up and that's great medicine.  FYI, if you are reading this I may need you help covering expenses for the show, open your wallets :)   It's tax deductible!!

My thanks to all for their friendship and support.  I'm blessed to have you all in my life.

March Madness .... well not so mad!

By Todd Salen — Mar 18, 2016 2:41pm

Sorry it has been a while since an update.  And guess what, this update is from me!  Yes the patient lives.  And I must say I'm doing well.  It's March 18 today and I'm feeling really good.  Oh I had my second of maybe 12 chemo infusions on Wednesday.  I go every other week.  The infusion takes about 4 hours all in.  Then I get to wear a chemo bag for two days while the meds keep pouring in.  It's not too bad.  Side effects come on the weekend which is manageable.
So let's get to what is important.  This week I'm feeling better than i have since November.  I'm getting stronger and eating better than I have in a long time.  I've been working myself back to a full day at work.  I'm so lucky to have a supportive boss and co-workers.  Everyone understands that it takes time.  And by not overdoing it I'm getting back stronger and faster.
I've been setting some goals as well.  If you know me you know sitting still in not an option.  I'm eager to start lifting weights again, play golf, work on CUTC shows, help on Habitat Builds, etc.  I need to get moving.  Trust me I realize I'm not close to being cured and I may never be cancer free.  But attitude is great medicine.  And I have always had attitude :)
In the meantime, know I"m getting better.  I appreciate the support and Guanheng and I love the meals too!  Cooking is hard, just because of the aromas.   So a meal delivered once in awhile is a night of peace for me!
Thank you all for your prayers, you support.  I'm so lucky and truly blessed.

April 14 update

Yesterday was chemo session #4.  It's amazing how simple it is.  Go in, get comfortable, and they plug you in and fill you with meds.  Before you know it you are back home.   I always bring a movie and yesterday was "Oklahoma".   The movie starts with "Oh what a beautiful morning"    That was really true.  Lab tests came back with even better results than two weeks ago.  My scores are nearly normal for cancer detection and nutrition.  All indicating the chemo is working and the surgery designed to help me eat/retain vitamins, is all good. 
The past two weeks have been fun.  I saw two musicals, Fiddler on the Rood with one of my former actors Timothy Purnell at Uni High in town and then A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum with two more of my favorite actors, Ryan Gossett and Alec Campbell and all time favorite director Suzanne Aldridge at Centennial High School.  Both shows were wonderful.  I'm producing Oklahoma this summer and hope all will audition and be in the show. 
No real issues with side effects.  And I started lifting weights again,  That's a milestone for sure.
I overbooked this weekend, working on a Habitat project with guys from my fraternity Saturday and then facilitating an I-Program for the UI Leadership Center on Sunday.  Sunday after chemo is normally my "bad day" so hopefully I won't feel too tired.   Oh well, bad planning on my part but I know it will be energizing.  So hopefully it all balances out.
Many thanks to Jean Huddleston and Linda Finfrock for bringing meals this week.  It's so helpful to have meals on chemo weeks as it's really hard for me to cook the day of and the next few days after chemo.  My appetite is good but the smells really get to me.  
My love to all who are supporting and praying for me!   We are making progress.  

Doing some heavy lifting for God

Going where God calls us

This year was the eighth time I have joined our mission trip team from my church, Savoy United Methodist Church.  Over those years I have joined our group on trips to Mexico, New Orleans, Carbondale, IL and the Denver area.  Each trip was rewarding.  More important, each trip challenged my faith, opened my eyes to others struggling in their faith journeys, and allowed me to connect with both our youth and adults participating in the trip.  I would not trade those weeks for anything.  One of the things that makes our trip unique is that we travel with another church.  Prior to this year we paired with the Wesley United Methodist Church in Macomb IL.  A friendship started about 40 years ago between two of our adult leaders led us to serving jointly.  This year we added a third church, Pekin United Methodist Church.  One of these two men is a Pastor and he was reassigned to Pekin last year, thus opening the door for adding the third church.

Pictured above is truly the Body of Christ at work.  Men from three different churches helping to protect a woman's land that was destroyed in a fire.  In fact 14,000 acres burned in the Black Forest, displacing over 500 families.  This property was owned by an older woman, Marie.  Over the course of a few days we cleared the land of brunt trees, filled a dumpster with melted steel from the fire, fixed the stables where 5 horses once roamed, however two were killed due to the fire, and built a shed for some of her possessions not damaged in the fire.

Marie and her husband owned many acres in the beautiful foothills of the Rockies.  They lived on a pine tree lined ranch just to the east of Colorado Springs.  One night in June 2014 a fire started a few miles from her house.  Probably started by campers who didn't wash out dinner coals, this fire spread over 14,000 acres, the worst fire in Colorado history.  Marie and her husband didn't have time to gather mementos, or really anything of value except for loading their horses into their trailer.  They drove several miles away from the fire and spent the night in their car, cold and concerned.  Over the next few days they moved from shelter to shelter.  Two of the horses died from the smoke.

Now nearly two years later, Marie was faced with an impossible obstacle.  The insurance company still had not settled her claim for the damages.  The county sent her a letter that if she did not clean up her land they would begin fining her and her husband.  With little money to do the work, she reached out to a friend who was an organizer in the Black Forest Clean Up operation.  Nancy was her name.  Nancy reached out to UMCOR, the United Methodist Relief organization with an office based in Denver.

The next day UMCOR called me and asked if our group would be willing to "change assignments" and go to work in the Black Forest.  I told them we would go wherever God called.  This being only 2 days before we were scheduled to arrive in Denver.  Said another way, a week before we arrived Nancy called UMCOR to see if there was a group of volunteers who could help and we were there to fill the need.

Our group of burly men went to rescue Marie.  Walking on a walker, this frail woman commanded the strength of a lion.  She mobilized us one way and another.  In two days the land was remarkably better.  But as in most mission trip work, it wasn't the work, but indeed the relationship built with Marie that was special.

Over lunch she told her story of the struggles she had faced in the past year.  She openly discussed the faith challenges she had. losing everything, praying to God for help, realizing he responded on his time and then finally when the threat of losing it all was real, had her prayers answered.  She touched each of our hearts, helping us all to understand that God had indeed sent us all to warm her heart and at least partially help to put a piece of her life back together.

We all walked away with this thought though.  God has a plan for each of us.  With patience we can understand his plan.  And if we let u\him lead us, no matter where we are,  he will reveal that plan.  

It's a phone call you are overly anxious to get and yet don't want to answer the phone when it comes. Some of life's greatest challenges fall into that category.  None more so than the call that tells you once and for all the medical problems you have been experiencing the past 5 months is Cancer.  It's not some obscure tape worm.  It's not food poisoning.  It's not gall stones.  And it's not just getting old and not being able to eat the things you like.  It's the big C.  Cancer.  A six letter word that is scarier than any other in the English language.

Let me give you some background.  In October I was just having a normal day hosting an open house for one of my clients.  I sell real estate in my day job.  I was feeling ok, but a bit bloated.  Near the end of the open house I felt like I might vomit.  About an hour later I did.  Chalk it up to eating something bad or spoiled I thought.  Nothing to be worried about.  Then about a week later it happened again.  Lingering flu?  Not sure, but I felt pretty good after I vomited so no worries.

About 4 more occurrences made me think this may be something to talk with my doctor about.  I did. He thought it might be food poisoning.  He gave me some meds and off I went to heal.  This seemed to help for a week or so and then it came back.  This time more aggressive and now add diarrhea to the mix for things bothering me.

I went back to the doctor and he changed my meds.  This helped, but didn't end the problems.  The doctor called for more tests.  A CT scan, more blood tests, ultra-sound, nothing came up with the solution.

The holidays were brutal.  I went east to visit Washington DC and my sister in NYC.  The trip was wonderful, however my stomach didn't want to be there.  Nightly vomiting and diarrhea helped me realize I had a serious problem.  Here I was 15 hours from home by car and all I could think about was getting back to my bed.

I got back home and went to see the doctor immediately.  He referred me to a specialist in gastro intestinal medicine.  An endoscope discovered a mass in my intestines.   Biopsies of the mass determined it was Cancer.  And as I write this entry I'm two days from meeting with the surgeon who will tell me the seriousness of that Cancer.

Dealing with the initial shock

I was in a meeting when I got the call.  I heard the news from the doctor that he suspected I had Cancer,  then walked back into the conference room for the meeting having an out of body experience.  I knew people were there talking but what did I just hear.  Oh my.  I had to tell a few close friends and family.  First a text to my sister.  Test result...Cancer.  Call when you can.  She too was in meetings and a short while later she called.  Nothing is harder.  Tears, confusion, a feeling of hopelessness at first.  Then encouraging words from my sister.  "We will fight it, I'll be with you every step of the way..."

I heard this again and again as I told people.  We will fight this.  I'm with you.  You don't even begin to appreciate how lucky you are to have such loyal friends and family members until you face something like this.  Cancer unifies like little other.  Maybe because we all know someone who fought and won and fought and lost this battle.  It's personal.

We didn't know much.  It was Cancer, but no insights into the severity of it or what stage it might be in.  That information was to come with a meeting with a specialist.  With that in mind, we decided not to tell many people.  There were lots of questions to be answered, and my friends and family would wear me out asking them.  So we decided to keep a tight lid on this until we knew more.  Next step, meet with the specialist.

Meeting with the Cancer specialist.

Dr. Magesh Sundaram.  That is who my meeting was with.  A man who certainly was not in a hurry to "get to the point."  We meet in his office in the Carle Breast Cancer Center.  He tells me he is in charge of the Cancer center, certainly reassuring.  For the next hour and a half I get a biology lesson on the digestive system.  "The stomach empties the food into the small intestines where the fluids from the pancreas and liver complete the digestive process."

Now he turns on the video monitor and shows me slides from the CT scan from a few weeks ago along with the video from the endoscopy last week.  Bottom line there is a tumor in the intestines just outside my stomach.  The doctor who did the endoscopy biopsied the tumor along with the glands just outside the lining of the intestines.  The tumor is cancerous, however the glands are not. This leads the doctor to speculate the cancer has not spread beyond the tumor.  With that said, he says it is Stage 2 cancer.  I ask him, "Doctor, one thing you are not saying is 'Get your affairs in order', does that mean you think you can get it all?"  He says yes, we can beat this.

After two hours of meeting we have a game plan.  I'll come in for surgery February 4, (originally the 11th, but he moved it up a week the next day).  Surgery will be 6 to 7 hours.  I'll be in the hospital for 7-10 days and then recovering at home for up to four weeks. Little did I know how many times I would be repeating this to friends and family in the next week.  I could have printed business cards and handed them out ... surgery, recovery, .... etc etc.  What I know first and foremost though, this is in God's hands.  He has a plan.  However this turns out, it will be his will.

Letting the world know

Who do you tell?  When do you tell them?  Who needs to know what?  These are the hardest questions.  I learn quickly one of the biggest problems telling people is that each time you talk about it you burn energy and emotion.  Cancer is scary.  We all know that.  And the natural reaction is that you are going to die.  Truth is we are all going to die.  I could be hit by a car today and be gone tomorrow.  Somehow when you tell folks you have Cancer it seems more immediate.  Of course family is a priority.  And closest friends as well.  But then I begin to think about the different groups that I'm involved with; Rotary, Fraternity, Doggie Play Group, Church, Theater, Work etc etc.

I start making a list, calling relatives, friends and others.  The hardest are my younger relatives.  My Godson, nephews, nieces, etc.  They ask hard questions.  Two want to drop out of school and come take care of me.  I assure them, I'm ok, and they should finish school.  And some of the kids I have mentored in the area are tough to talk to.  Again they don't begin to understand the differences in stages of Cancer.  They just know it kills.  I assure them, we are going to win this fight.

Just when I think "everyone knows" I remember I forgot to tell this person or that person.  I truly am ready to be done explaining and move on to the next stage.  It just takes a lot of energy to explain. Part of my duty in explaining is telling the facts,  But part is also reassuring them I'll be ok.  Different people react in different ways.  I find "Cancer survivors" are optimists.  On the other hand folks with horrific experiences immediately go the the worst scenario.  I need to help each feel my optimism.

I am amazed though at how people react and respond.  A few friends organize a meal train to make sure my sister, my Chinese student and I are fed during the month.  Others make plans to take care of my dog while I'm in the hospital.  And others plan a network to come sit with me and watch out for me.  I have incredible friends and family.  I truly thank God for them all.

One of my fraternity brothers sent a note out to a few hundred brothers.  The texts, calls and letters warmed my heart.  People I haven't seen in years reach out just to say hi and tell me they are praying for me.  This happens with my fraternity brothers, and other friends as well.  I have an entirely new appreciation for the power of prayer and church prayer lists.  It's humbling to think about the hundreds of people who are praying for me who I have never met.

Next steps

Tomorrow as I write this section I have a Pet Scan, which should determine if the Cancer has spread along with a pre-op physical to make sure I"m healthy enough for the procedure.  Then next week a meeting with the Doctor to review theses tests.  Surgery is scheduled for February 4.
I'll fill this in more as I'm able.

Update 1/29/16

Talk about getting the wind knocked out of you.  The doctor called today to say the Pet scan showed the cancer has spread to my liver.  Although he didn't tell me how much it has spread or what the treatment is.  We meet on Tuesday for the update.  My family has not had good luck with liver cancer.  So when we hear those two words together we cringe.  Also there is another poll-up on my colon so that means I need to go in for another colonoscopy before the major surgery to get it removed.

I'm not thrilled by this news, an already busy week is even busier now.  But I can't control what I can't control  The worst part is I was really starting to think we were going to have this surgery and put this behind us.  I am not so lucky.

2/1/16
The cavalry has arrived   My sisters from NYC and Chicago showed up today to take charge.  And I"m blessed they are here.  I'm not sure what I would do it I didn't have help.  I had several talks this weekend with friends who are doctors and friends who have faced Cancer.  The theme, take it one day at a time.  Don't anticipate the worst, plan for the best.  Good advice.

Sunday was a teared filled goodbye at church.  So many wonderful people who care. Trust me, I"m not saint.  But I am blessed to have a church family who come together in times of need.  God led me to Savoy Methodist Church and I'm glad he did.

Only 3 more solid meals.  Then I will be drinking Steak and Shake shakes for a month!  I wish.  I imagine it will be some sort of feeding tube that by passes by stomach.  I'll imagine I'm eating fine dining.  Let's go with that :)

Only one more full day of work as well.  And of course, that meeting with the doctor in the morning. One day at a time.  Ok, I get it.

Today was an ok day.  I don't feel great, I'm sure part of that is nerves and acid in my stomach.  Ok, enough for one day.  I'll try to update tomorrow.

2/2/16
Today will be the day I never forget.  The Cancer has spread.  Plan A, to remove the tumor is now off the table.  Plan B, creating a bypass in my intestines, eat more regularly and get stronger is now on the table.  I'll get healthy from this procedure and then tackle the newest enemy, Liver Cancer.

It's not good news.  Untreated the doctor says I have 3 months.  With treatment, chemotherapy, etc, he thinks we can prolong it to 18 months.  Either way, have a target of "500 of so" days to live it not what I call a positive outcome.

So now we fight.  This now is the time for us to research alternative medicine, specialists, etc.  Suggestions are welcome.  The thought goes through my mind, if there are only 18 months left, how should I spend that time.  Something to ponder the next few days.

Good news is I won't be in the hospital as long, only about 5 days, and the home recovery will be shortened, maybe two weeks.
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One day at a time....

Yesterday was chemo session #4.  It's amazing how simple it is.  Go in, get comfortable, and they plug you in and fill you with meds.  Before you know it you are back home.   I always bring a movie and yesterday was "Oklahoma".   The movie starts with "Oh what a beautiful morning"    That was really true.  Lab tests came back with even better results than two weeks ago.  My scores are nearly normal for cancer detection and nutrition.  All indicating the chemo is working and the surgery designed to help me eat/retain vitamins, is all good. 
The past two weeks have been fun.  I saw two musicals, Fiddler on the Rood with one of my former actors Timothy Purnell at Uni High in town and then A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum with two more of my favorite actors, Ryan Gossett and Alec Campbell and all time favorite director Suzanne Aldridge at Centennial High School.  Both shows were wonderful.  I'm producing Oklahoma this summer and hope all will audition and be in the show. 
No real issues with side effects.  And I started lifting weights again,  That's a milestone for sure.
I overbooked this weekend, working on a Habitat project with guys from my fraternity Saturday and then facilitating an I-Program for the UI Leadership Center on Sunday.  Sunday after chemo is normally my "bad day" so hopefully I won't feel too tired.   Oh well, bad planning on my part but I know it will be energizing.  So hopefully it all balances out.
Many thanks to Jean Huddleston and Linda Finfrock for bringing meals this week.  It's so helpful to have meals on chemo weeks as it's really hard for me to cook the day of and the next few days after chemo.  My appetite is good but the smells really get to me.  
My love to all who are supporting and praying for me!   We are making progress.