So today I got the official word that Ralph D. "Dud" Daniel has joined our heavenly father. I thought I would share some "Dudley" stories with you all. For my friends who aren't "fraternity men", Ralph Daniel served our national fraternity for over 60 years. He was a charter member at our chapter at Arizona in 1947, and became the Executive Director of our national fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi, shortly after that. He served as assistant director for "Dab" Williams, who is a legendary alum from my own chapter at Illinois. In his 63 years of service, Dud became known to all as "Mr. Phi Psi." He lived and breathed our ideals, our morals and challenged us all to become better MEN. Not just fraternity men, but MEN who contributed to our communities, raised our families, and made this a better world to live in.
I first met Dud in 1977. He attended a district council meeting in Champaign. I was a newly initiated brother and was amazed at how he accepted everyone he met as a friend and a brother. Dud put the "Gentle" into the word gentleman. He had an ear for everyone he met, remembered names and faces like no one I've ever known, and became a friend for life at first meeting.
As an undergrad I shared time at meetings with Dud several times. My first Dud story happened in 1979. Our chapter was celebrating our 75th anniversary and we invited Dud to come join us for the festivities. Never one to miss an opportunity to spend time with undergrads and alums, Dud was there with no official duties, except perhaps to make certain the wine was properly chilled (FYI, if the wine wasn't chilled right Dud was known to drop an ice cube or two in the glass) and that everyone felt welcome.
After the festivities on a Sunday morning, Dud asked if I would take him on a campus walking tour. I proudly accepted, knowing full well that I was a walking encyclopedia on the campus! About 10 steps into the tour Dud pointed out the grave of John Gregory, the first president of the UI tucked neatly next to Altgeld Hall. I didn't know that was there, and how did he know?
A few steps later Dud spotted Illini Hall, and said, "that's where Dab Williams came up with the idea of Homecoming." As we walked by Lincoln Hall Dud pointed out the sculpture and carvings on the walls. Finally I said to Dud, "I thought I was giving this tour, how do you know so much about our campus." Dud apologized and said in his quiet, humble way, "Dab used to come back for homecoming every year and he would bring me. Over the years, I watched many of these buildings get built, and Dab of course had seen nearly all of them built. So I had a good tour guide!"
Thanks to Dab, Dud called our chapter "whiskey Delta" and Northwestern's chapter was "lemonade Alpha." Dud loved joke with the brothers from Northwestern and Illinois about that topic.
I was with Dud at a meeting in Chicago once and we were staying at the Union League Club downtown. Now we stayed there because it was cheap! Member's guests stayed there for a small fee, and we were both eager to save a buck. In the morning we met in the dining room for breakfast. Dud ordered a small bowl of fruit and a bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch. Dud loved Raisin Bran Crunch, the perfect combination of flavor and crunch he said. Anyway, when his bill came he reached for the tab, and as he looked at the bill his eyes opened wide. His breakfast had cost $19. He put it down and said, "for $19 you would think they would have picked the fruit fresh this morning, and maybe given me a few extra raisins." Always the gentleman, Dud paid his bill, but he mentioned it to me several times that day and we joked about it as recently as last year at our annual convention.
There was a Fraternity Executive Leaders convention in Monticello every year, which is just west of Champaign. Dud would always call when he came to town to meet for coffee or lunch. One time he called and asked if I would join him in a tour of Alpha Tau Omega's new headquarters. Virtually every fraternity leader welcomed Dud when he visited, and ATO was no exception. I picked him up at the airport and we headed to the building. We were a bit early. Dud was always early, and one of the staffers volunteered to walk us through the building. They had photos of past presidents on the wall. Dud knew most of them and pointed them out to the ATO staffer and I. We were escorted into a large meeting room with lots of ATO paraphernalia. Dud looked at every thing, and then said to me, over here is hole in the floor where new initiates rise from the grave to become reborn. And behind this wall is a badge that lights up with all of the fraternity mystics. And he pointed out several other things. Now I don't know if he really knew this, or he was just having fun, but I guessed from the stunned expression on the ATO staffer's face that he was pretty close to the true meaning. I had another internal chuckle as I watched Dud show off his fraternal knowledge to an innocent stranger!
A few years back Dud returned for the 100th anniversary of our chapter. He had a very low key role presenting an award, but served as wine taster and reception host. Once again on the Sunday after the ceremonies Dud wanted a walking tour. This time I chose something that was built in the last 25 years. We walked through the Japanese gardens located to the west of the UI President's house. There are over 1000 floral displays there. I thought it would be a leisurely stroll through the grounds, but no, Dud had to stop and see every single flower. What I thought would be an hour walk turned into a 3 hour lecture about gardening. Who knew he knew so much? But it was a wonderful afternoon.
I was fortunate to know Ralph Daniel and spend time with him every time we were at the same event. He always found time to talk, even though there may have been 500 at the event who wanted to do the same. He was graceful, caring, engaging and loving. He never met a brother he didn't like, although he didn't understand a lot of them. And he has made my experience in Phi Kappa Psi better, just because I knew him.
Dud had a charge he gave us all at most of the meetings we attended. I'll share it now as it is how many of us were introduced to him, and challenged by him:
"Let us be what we say we are. A Fraternity, not a club, based on ideals and not expediency and run by men and not boys."
And our fraternity yell:
"High, High, High, Phi Kappa Psi, live ever, die never, Phi Kappa Psi."
I'll miss you Dudley. Keep the wine chilled in heaven for me.
